Why do guys put a premium on looks?

ok, let's lay something down first:

we're all a little vain and shallow and looks/physical attraction are important to all of us to some extent. I won't deny it.

here comes the but...with girls, guys don't have to be perfect. I've dated guys who were chubby, had big noses, were super skinny, had pimples, weren't really attractive. the same goes for all my friends, and most the girls I know. would we like a cute guy? well yeah. do we demand a cute guy? no.

but guys demand perfection from girls. if she has the slightest bit of flab or fat, they won't touch her. if her skin has any imperfection, sometimes even freckles, it's a no go. if her hair, heaven forbid, gets frizzy every once in awhile, she's unattractive. if her boobs aren't big and her butt isn't round, she's not good enough.

since adolescence, guys I've come in contact with demand perfection from girls if they want to stand a chance. a lot of guys have turned me down because of a pimple or fuzzy hair, and a lot of guys have only asked me out because of my large breasts.

it's OK if a guy doesn't want to date a girl he's not attracted to, but can guys maybe agree to be attracted to girls who are less than models and celebrities?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you're another victim of the huge media bias towards women. To be completely honest with you, everything that you mentioned is exaggerated. Clearly, you are still young and you are still maturing both mentally and physically.

    You have to take a step back and ask yourself, "Who am I trying to impress?" The fact is you have to be comfortable with yourself and your body. A guy that is mature is not going to be so nit picky, when it comes to appearance and such. From what you wrote, I sense that you have the thought that "No matter what I do, I'm never good enough."

    Yes, guys in school may talk about celebrities and how hot some of them are, but a mature guy will never compare you to celebrities. Magazines that girls in your age range read are chock full of propaganda/marketing, to make girls think they have to be perfect. The marketing and advertisements, which feature beautiful models and celebrities are deliberately done.

    What you have to understand is businesses thrive on marketing to young people. When businesses preach that message to young girls and get them to believe that guys demand the best and such...it's going to make them A LOT OF MONEY. This is because the girls will be more inclined to purchase clothing and accessories to help boost their images, in hopes of satisfying those guys who demand perfection. HOWEVER, the advertising/marketing schemes have brainwashed young girls into thinking that guys such as myself and many others demand perfection. IT SIMPLY ISN'T TRUE.

    Businesses want you to have a fear that your appearance is some how flawed, so you will go out and by X because of Y.

    Every guy out there has different tastes in ladies. There is someone for everyone. You have to stand tall and believe in yourself. I firmly believe that, that is the first step to being happy about yourself and your self-image.

    Your self esteem plays a big part in why you wrote this question, and I know exactly why. You have no reason to think that you have to prove anything to anyone. The only person you have to prove anything to, is yourself.

    Everyone was created different for a reason. Guys your age are still trying to figure out who they are as people. In High School, people are naive, vain and very immature. If I were you I would just take it for what it's coming from...little boys that have squeaky voices, who prance around like little jackrabbits.

    It also helps to find a good crowd to hang around with. There will always be that pressure to want to fit in and I thoroughly understand that. You have to surround yourself with people that have the same interests as you, with whom you get along with. I'd say live life for you and don't worry what others think.

    If you have any questions just send me a message.

    Good Luck!


What Guys Said 4

  • everything you said for the most part is nonsense

  • I don't put a premium on looks I would say about 80% of women I come accross on a daily basis I would give them a try if they just showed some interest in me as well.

    • Totally agreed with this guy !

    • You're the opposite of most guys I talk to. they're like "only 1 or 2% of the girls I've seen in my life are pretty and dateable". but 80%? good for you, I guess that means you like different looks and not just one certain look.

  • Non of what you said relates to me.

  • I don't know what kind of guys you know but I'm not even close to being like that.


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