Is the modern gentlemen dead?

I want to bring back chivalry and what a man should be as they mature, but I feel that women in today's society would not appreciate it. I guess the real question is, do women respect/wish to get involved with a chivalrous gentlemen? For those who don't know what it means to be a chivalrous gentlemen, I mean a man who is of high moral standing and dresses very sharply.From what I can see, being a ridiculously dressed Ed Hardy fan who goes to the gym 24/7 to keep a 20-pack while on steroids seems like the only guy women love to be with.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well I don't believe that chivalry has anything to do with how he dresses. Like you stated in the book you read, "The American Gentleman". It really has to do with courtesy and generosity. That to me is another word for respect.

    Do I think the modern gentlemen is dead? No. Definitely not. I believe that women still crave this behavior from men, however the whole "game" is what makes them question if the man's actions are genuine. Insecurities or questions are raised when the man becomes much more tentative then what they are used to with other men. Therefore our attempts to of chivalry isn't appreciated like it used to be.

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    • You know what, I practice courtesy based on how my parents raised me, opening doors and all that, but every time I do I rarely get a thank you or acknowledgment. Just out of curiosity I didn't do it for someone and they gave me the death stare, like I HAD to open the door. Courtesy is expected of everyone and it goes unappreciated. This game I keep hearing of, the mystery method and sh*t like that is so absurd and convoluted that it really kills me to see guys buying it. We need rapid change.

    • I agree with you. We can only control our own actions and they way I see it is, I will be the best boyfriend, or potential boyfriend I can be. I want my women to be a lady and in order to be a lady she will be positive and appreciate even the little things. I don't care how many women I have to go through to find her, but she'll be worth the wait. She'll stand out from all the rest, I know she is out there and I'm patiently waiting for her, I won't lose hope. Neither should you.

What Girls Said 4

  • Some days it seems that chivalry itself has died. Other times it becomes clear that it's just in a coma. It's up to individual guys to revive it on a regular basis.

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  • I love chivalry, meat heads and those guy's that think they can get the chicks with fast cars and bling are just a huge turn of to me.

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  • I don't understand why some girls are into beefcakes :s I've never been attracted to them. As for chivalry...that would be awesome...more guys on horses with hair down to there, with strength and honor! Down with the GUIDOBEAST

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  • LUV chivalry ;) definitely rooting for it!

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What Guys Said 9

  • First of all, I strongly disagree with the notion of calling gentlemanly acts chivalrous. Chivalry was a Knights' written code in the middle ages that was full of hypocrisy. One of the things it stated was that to commit adultery was a crime, but to rape the wife of a man you killed in fair combat didn't count and was allowed as it was "spoils of victory."

    Secondly, I do not consider myself a gentlemanly person. I hold doors open, but not for women. I do it for anybody. I don't do things for one gender that I wouldn't do for another. This is just common courtesy.

    Thirdly, the fact that it's apparently rare and obviously dying out means you were incorrect in using the word "modern" in your question header. Nothing modern about it apparently if it's going the way of the dinosaur.

    And finally, how does how you dress have ANYTHING to do with being a gentleman of high moral value?

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  • I agree with the your first sentence that "women would not appreciate it." I think it is because of less morality or ethics (if I'm using the right words).

    For example:

    what you find on this very site? You find some set of rules that if you follow, you"ll get a girl (like: what does it mean when a boy keeps staring at me?..this is just one example).

    I have never seen a question which states that "What should I see in Men/Women which should reflect what they are, like WHAT THEY ARE not what are pretending to be".

    So everything here is set of rules, follow them and try luck. Nobody tries to find the essance of peronality and see what REAL men/women are and how they behave. Impurity is so much into our society. According to me, this is most basic reason for this but there are lot of other. I can speak on and on and on.

    I hope you don't call for whaambulance...LOL

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  • Your a dambsh*t in many senses my friend I will help you out, first of I just need to get this out of the way, chivalry is a concept attactched to european knights, that concept has been dead since they stopped building castles. However I know what you mean and hell no it isn't dead just because most guys are assholes now a days dosn't mean that is the standard and your probably just looking into the wrong pool or girls if all the women that you know are with the type of guys that you attracted. If you are going to be a classy guy, look for a classy girl

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    • The "classy" girl you refer to is also nearly gone because girls like dressing up provocatively and try to become more attention obsessing than they should be. Shows like "Sex and the City" do not help. They provide a set of ideals and morals that all women should be following, like treating guys who are one night stands as crap, or that sleeping around like a guy is okay. I don't know how it is in Houston but classy women are a rare find even in the Big Apple.

  • I don't think you know where chivalry refers too or maybe you are thinking of something else. I have a story in my profile about chivalry, check it out

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    • Haha I usually associated being chivalrous with the knights of old, who I initially thought were of good moral standing. What I really meant was this book I read,The American Gentleman: A Contemporary Guide to Chivalry by M. D. Michael James Hall. Very good book on what a gentleman consists of. "Dr. Hall believes that developing an genuine appreciation for others along with a moral compass is paramount and that a gentleman must stand up for what he believes is right". Very insightful read.

  • chivalry is men being subservient to women with no requirement of reciprocal behavior required of the woman, of course women like it. no you should not do it.. but to each their own.

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  • welcome to the retrosexual movement.

    link

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  • I totally agree, I think he should have more renaissance men and less meatheads.

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  • Well there is a reason it has died I mean women do take advantage of gentlemen.

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  • Girls don't like gentlemen they like cars and money...

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