The girl in the second picture does look like she'd be annoying (as someone else said!) It is an issue of personality here. If she looked really adorable I'd say so. Actually just earlier I looked on a girl's profile picture because of a comment she said that sounded sweet, and she was definitely not a girl you would consider anything above average, but she just looked so sweet the way she was smiling and looking. And that was attractive to me, because she let some of her personality shine through.
The girl in the first picture looks on first impression that she has low self esteem, needs sleep (she has dark bags under her eyes) or is possibly suffering from bulimia/ anorexia. Thus, this is also an issue regarding her inner qualities not being attractive.
It TRULY is what's on the inside that makes the difference in the end.
This means not just whether she is a nice person. But other things as well like belief in herself/ beliefs about herself, self-esteem, confidence, a happy/ pleasant nature. We know that these are important in girls' eyes, but they are also attractive to guys too. And it TRULY is the INNER that makes the difference on how you are PERCEIVED. On whether you are seen as attractive. If you allow your inner beauty to shine on people, this is the most attractive thing of all.
And the second thing is looking after yourself. Don't underestimate what the right haircut, skincare, clothes, can do. Care how you look. Not to be shallow, no it's not that. It's marketing your product (you!) and it WORKS (IF, I repeat IF you have the inner dimension of confidence, self acceptance etc - this is the most important thing in your attractiveness)!
But as I said, the inner self identity change is a must. Change from believing yourself as unattractive. Look for the attractive things about yourself and acknowledge them. Do self development, become a happy person! and take steps to enjoy life more. Laugh more. Become more open. Really, these things are huge, huge, huge. Look at what qualities you value in other people, and find those existing qualities in you, and let them shine! I think you probably have so much to offer. I have found many quiet, average looking girls to have really beautiful sensitive natures. Sure you are not super attractive. It's definitely not about pretending to be someone you're not or to have something you don't. BUT you have made some false assumptions that men only want really attractive girls and taken that as your truth. You have made an assumption that men don't like you because you are not attractive enough. So every time something happens to you you look for the evidence to support those existing beliefs. Instead of asking whether it was your attitude that was sending the wrong message, or was somehow obstructing guys from getting to know you.
Challenge those beliefs. Throw them out. When you change your inner beliefs of who you are and how you see yourself, you will see huge change.
There is a story I happened to be a part of. A female friend of mine was complaining to me how every guy she tries to hook up with never seems to see who she really is. They always treat her like there is nothing special about her or treat her like she is someone else. So I told her:
"Jane, go up to the mirror and tell me who you see."
She looked over herself and said:
"Well, I am wearing very stylish clothes, the latest trend, my hair is dyed blond and I am wearing some lipstick and other make-up."
"Now, knowing what you look like, what would an average person think of you?" "Well... they would say that I am probably the party type and that I like to listen to Indie and I like to hang out with lots of people and go places. And me being so serious and not smiling... I think that could make them feel I have a problem."
So I said "OK, now tell me what kind of a person you REALLY ARE, the inner side you want people to notice."
"Well, I am intelligent, I like to read books and I love going for a quiet walk in the park. I also like soothing piano instrumental music and I would love to live in Nepal." I smirked, laughed and said:
"Now, do you see the difference? People try to put on different clothes, go with the trend to show style, to show their "identity", to show who they really are. But what they don't understand is that by going with the trend they usually end up looking like... everybody else. They hide their own personality. Compared to who you really are, you dress like a completely different person. People judge you by the looks, whether you want it or not, and when a guy approaches you he expects to see the "party type girl" and not the "romantic intelligent girl". Now, you think about that, try to dress up as a girl you really are."
She thanked me, and that is exactly what she did. Turns out, her "real self" looks like... an average "nice girl", dresses in ordinary clothes, but with unique style. She wears no make-up, her hair is chocolate brown (wow, I never knew!) and for her "average style"-looks she looks... absolutely stunning. I won't lie, my heart skipped a few beats.
You know, all the media, all the movies, all the girls and guys around you... Everything tells a girl that men expect the woman to be hot, have great body, the right size of breasts, whatever. The truth is... it doesn't matter that much, and quite a bit of people are appalled by the Photoshopped models on magazine covers, some can't even stand them.
What DOES matter is that you smile, have kind eyes, you dress the way you want, the way that makes you feel like yourself. Don't stress over you looks, or try to cover up your insecurities with lots of "patch work" and flashy clothes. It is OK to hide a thing or two, but don't try to impress.
I assure you, I know a lot of girls who have average or below average looks, but who follow those simple rules above and... they have a lot of men running after them.
aight ima be totally honest ok? I'm a girl and I personally think both girls are ugly and would not meet most guys standards because 1 they do not look like they take care of them selves 2 girl 2 looks very unhealthy and that's a turn off in the long run looks don't matter all you need to catch a desent looking guy 1 toned body not to skinny that grosses the worthy ones out if there real they want you to be too 2 have a fun personality and a somewhat daring attitude is attractive guys wanna be able to listen to you talk with out wanting to fall asleep3 be your self they wanna talk to you not a girl off TV and 4 be a sweetheart all guys are suckers for a sweet heart guys love to be built up with there crazy egos and such if you make them look good by complimenting them then they will want to be around you and want you to be around them 5 last but not least makeup never hurt anyone but remember keep it classy not trashy guys (that are worthy ) like little to no make up unless they like that dark mysterous look but you can spend your money on better things then eyeliner sweet heart its not needed so over all if your healthy and take care of your self its only a matter of time and also don't look forguys in the wrong places
Guys care about looks more than women do, in general, because it is biological. If you think about it, men intrinsically are looking for the healthiest/best looking thing to create offspring with. Women are looking for someone who can shelter and take care of that offspring best (gold digger explained).
I would agree with the style comment. Some guys need perfect faced bodies and faces, but those guys are generally harboring their own insecurities and aren't really worthwhile in the first place. NO guy, unless supremely desperate, will be into a girl who isn't at least a little into herself/has some style (interests, skills, clothes, hair, makeup). Have a little (or a lot) of confidence, be someone someone else would want to get to know, talk to. Attraction can take many forms.
Also, know this. Although you are essentially trying to attract guys, they are not the hallowed judge of all that is attractive. DO NOT let one or two guys dictate how you feel about how you look. Who the hell are they to judge? Also remember, before you start worrying about whether or not they find you attractive, be discerning. Do you find them attractive? At all?
some guys are ugly as f*** but they want a really hot girl. I don't understand it either. they can set their standards as high as they want but if they're a d***, they're still a d***.
the simple answer is some guys like superficiality over brains. there are some guys who aren't as dumb.
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Honestly, I don't think that most men's standards for "passable" are as high as women think they are. I will frequent look at a woman on TV or on the street, and say "She's cute," but my wife will look horrified and then tell me all the reasons why the woman is ugly, whether it's bad eyebrows, big nose, fat ankles, etc. (And no, she's not just jealous.) There definitely is a standard, but it's not all that unattainable for most women. I think that the first woman is definitely cute, and the second woman could be, but she looks less attractive just because she is dressed a little strange. Which is an important point. If you are self-conscious about your appearance, take a good look at your wardrobe and what you wear out. Are you wearing nice (not necessarily expensive) clothes that actually fit, or are you hanging out in an over-sized T-shirt and sweats? Guys notice when a woman is stylish and seems to take pride in herself. Personality is also extremely important, obviously. Generally speaking, confidence is sexy.
Before I launch my attack on you I'd like to point out: the term "higher standards" does not apply to what you're talking about lady, because guys who think this model/make up/artificial girl is pretty and that average natural isn't are dumbf*cks who have no taste whatsoever, and those people shouldn't be approached by females and should die alone. Every woman in this world is beautiful on her own, there is no such as an ugly human being, but there are ugly hearts and minds of idiots who make others feel bad about themselves. Those guys are the low standards themselves even if you liked their looks, remember they haven't created themselves.
High standards of looks of a girl to me are when a girl takes care of herself and maintains her body, has a good taste which would reflect on everything she does in her life including her style and way of talking, and socialising of course. You can't set standards on the natural look of someone, but you can set standards on things people can change and maintain, if they fail to, then they're crap. And those guys you're talking about (mostly teens, and even the majority of dumb tasteless population) have pretty much failed to have high standards because of the way they judge others looks.
Looks attract initially,whether male or female.One observation I've made is,the uglier the guy,the higher his standards.*They*(ugly ones) seem to think that they deserve the best.
I also feel as though you may need beauty tips to help you feel attractive:
-30 to 60 minutes of cardio a day(running,jogging,swimming,jump roping etc)
-Strength training 2-3 days a week
-Cleanse,tone and moisturize your skin 2x a day(and after working out)
-Exfoliate your skin 1-2x a week
-Deep condition your hair once a week,alternating between a moisturizing deep conditioner and protein conditioner and use a hot oil treatment once a month
-Try getting a different haircut,one that suits your face shape and features
-Get your eye brows threaded,eye brows can really change your appearance
-Wear clothing that accentuates your body shape
-Use makeup to cover/hide imperfections and flaws and to enhance your features
-A different hair color may help
-Eat healthy
-Take a multi vitamin daily
-Drink at least 8 glasses of water daily
-If you wear glasses,try contacts or try a frame shape that compliments your facial structure
-If you have skin problems,seek a dermatologist
-Overall,stay healthy and in shape
If you need help with makeup,check out MichellePhan on Youtube and look at her earlier videos,not her news ones but the older ones.
The media. They make women tulook perfect with photochop & editing. Those women also take two to do their make-up, so just imagine what they are doing in there. Men look @ playboy, victoria secret, & other magazines, & have to learn women aren't actually perfect. I tried to explain this to a guy once & he said the women on those magazines are still prettier than the adverage woman because they take good care of themselves. Little did he know that the woman on those magazines are probably starve themselves, use plastic surgery, & torture themselves with unbearable exercise. In that guys opinion, adverage women were pigs, but he doesn't realize models actually do to themselves to be "perfect." If he had any clue, he would be disgusted. Then he said as a defense that women judge men harshly based on magazines too, but that is far from the truth. I don't think I've ever checked men on magazines out, I prefer the real thing. Plus the media's idea of an attractive man is ugly to me. I don't like men to have bulging muscles, but try to convince a guy of that.
This is something I've noticed my whole life. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks this. I agree that even ugly guys have unrealistic standards and want super hot girls.. but yet when they get rejected by hot girls because they're ugly, they wanna whine about how "girls have such high standards." When in reality they just aren't being realistic and think that they can score girls that are way out of their league. Which tbh sometimes it works.. I see ugly guys dating hot girls all the time but you never see a hot guy dating an ugly girl. It's just the simple fact that guys in general have higher standards when it comes to looks. That's why it's harder to be an ugly girl in society than it is to be an ugly guy. Because atlas if you're an ugly guy you can still get a hot girl. Whereas if you're an ugly girl you're pretty much fucked for the most part. It's not only in dating either.. ugly guys are able to make friends way easier than ugly girls are. Ugly guys are accepted more by people around them. But unfortunately for girls, it's not as easy to be accepted. Because girls have way more pressure put on them to "look good'.. and when they don't look, they're more likely to be ignored. But no one really cares what guys look like. Because guys don't have to be hot to be accepted or to be popular.
Society influences what is and what is not beautiful. That is bullsh*t because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Most men though are influenced by all the pop culture and mass media and think a girl has too have that blond hair, blue eyes and nice Rack. They are easily susceptible and are lustful creatures. Don't worry about what guys want. Just be yourself and your own true beauty will shine through and you will be approached. Beauty is only skin deep. Its the personality, habits and acts a person commits that defines them for me. If you're comfortable with the way you look so am I.
It's a hard thing to get with guys. A lot of people tend to just say "well guys put too much value on looks, so they're shallow". Fact of the matter is we are on an instinctual quest for the females that appears most able to bear our children. Not that I intend on knocking up the first girl I come across, or even having kids at all, but that's just how we're wired. Not to say guys won't be attracted to or give the time of day to an "average" girl. I happen to think a lot of average girls are quite attractive.
This is one of those questions that is hard to answer, are you saying that men you know and find attractive at varying levels all shoot for women that you would place as way out of their league, so to speak?
I look at it this way, if I find someone attractive I'm not going to let my looks get in the way of me approaching them or trying to pursue them, that would be stupid. Why? Because you never know what that person finds attractive. I mean I see a lot of women I find attractive with men I would say are pretty ugly all the time, AND I am sure that you ladies see this as well, you see a guy you think is "hot" with a girl you think is ugly, am I right?
the first girl is probably considered attractive by most guys, the second is also but is just dressed / acting like a dork. fix her style and cloths and she would be attractive also.
guys talk about what they want, but look at the girls they end up dating - avg girls.
if you want to be attractive, work on fitness and eating right. fitness/health indicators are the number 1 thing guys look for, regardless of what they say. being fit makes your face look better also. it makes your skin better, and you feel/look/actually ARE healthier, which also shows and is attractive.
can you even show me a girl who fit, with good style, and makeup, who is still unattractive?
its very rare. I've seen 50yrold women who were into fitness and looked great. fitness and healthy living is synonymous with attractive.
its the key to your health, your self esteem, the type of guy you will have in your life, so many things.
haha I love the second pic neither of them are hot to me, but honestly in my opinion looks really don't matter for a relationship... if its a one noght thing then yeah ima pick the hot girl, but my main thing is I want the girl to laugh at my dirty jokes and make them... so I really think that girls have a higher standard for themselves, I mean not all guys expect girls to look like p*rnstars ya know thatd be cool but no, and don't stick to pepole's standards lifes way to short live it for you either way
The high standards are due to the fact that appearances are the very first filter to get passed when a guy is considering pursuing a girl, after all it's not like we can determine your personality just by looking at you. Regarding the pictures, I think the girl in the first link is quite pretty, the girl in the second link probably should get some more stylish glasses and also arrange her hair so it covers her forehead, which kinda looks big. Really, we're picky because women are picky, about their own appearance I mean. There are so many varieties of style these days for women that once a man sees a woman who shocks and amazes him with an aspect of her beauty, he looks for others who share the same aspect, which is usually rare.
Very pretty for me. I like women that workout more than the pretty face. I like girls that wear just the right amount of make up to look classy.
#1 I like physically attractive women :)
#2 If a person takes care of themselves physically, it give you a clue to what they're personality is. It says this person will put in effort. They are more likely to be neat and clean. More organized in life. The list goes on and on.
#3 it shows me they will respect me as a spouse by staying attractive. If they care about you, they will keep themselves looking their best for you.
I just want a girl that wants to be the best. Part of that is looking the best she can look. If I see a girl not trying it says she is fine with mediocrity. I’m not fine with that!
go ahead and call me shallow.
Outer appearance is not important when two people get to know each other well, because there are a lot more inside a person than what is seen on the outside.
Grow good qualities inside you that makes you beautiful inside, and eventually, you will radiate your inner qualities that attract the right guy out there.
Just be friendly and tell about yourself, if you are trustworthy and smart those are the good qualities guys look in a girl in long run.
Because anyone smart enough knows very well that outer appearance fades away sooner than anyone expects, and the good inner qualities makes the whole life beautiful!
You don't have to settle for someone who only looks at your outer appearance, There is a lot more inside you, including your health.
1st who said the pictures you linked to were just average. You may think their not hot in your eyes but then again your a girl. 2 As guys we always like to claim and brag we have the hottest chick/babe around and parading her around. The women don't seem to mind this. Just as you ladies love to claim you have the best looking stud muffin. So it's just not guys that have the high standards. And what you call high standards may not be high standards to someone else.
Yes there are guys who want the real life barbie and for them good luck barbie has been using ken for how many years car house and so forth and she hasn't married him yet. This makes ken look bad that he put's up with this. lol
The thing is that both these girls need help with style. They are not necessarily ugly, and average is not bad, but the thing is that they are average because they are dressed bad and they would just need to try and look better. For example girl 1 should wear some makeup and girl two should lose the hair style and get different glasses. Honestly a lot of average girls would look better if they just tried a little. Same with guys. Just change your style a little. As for how pretty a girl has to be, I would say that every guy is different. Some guys like girls like the ones above. Some are pigs and only like perfect 10 babes, and some like really ugly women. It depends. Be you and find someone who likes you, but if you feel unattractive do things to make you feel more attractive. Guys will then see that and think your'e attractive.
In a scale wise? She needs to at least be a 4. Though it depends on the guy. If he's really horny, then a 3 will do. If he's drunk and horny, then a 2 will pass. If he's dying of a disease, then a 1 will suffice.
Butt to answer your other question... " Why do guys have such high standards when it comes to looks?" Because we adore beauty, and that's basically it. Yet you require the same, do you not? Don't you require more from a man?
There's a level for everyone. If you're a 5 in scale, pursue a man in kind and you'll increase your chances of linking to him.
In all honesty those girls are a bit below average and, more importantly, not depicted in the most flattering way. Clothing, posture and hairstyle have quite an impact, and show that you care about how other people see you. All of these things are relatively easy to change by going to clothing shops, gyms and a hairstylist respectively.
"Passable" however is a different matter. If you're looking for something short-term, you'll have to be about equally attractive as the guy you're interested in. If you're looking for something long-term it becomes a lot less important.
the first link was a "maybe", assuming she had personality, and intelligence
the second link looked like she was butt-ugly, and looked like she would be "annoying"
my personal thing, was itelligence, politeness, personality first...
after that was okay, "looks" was whateverf I could get it hard for... anything more is unnecessary...
dont get me wrong, I like a hot chick as much as the next guy, but... if the girl KNOWS she is hot, its a real turn off for me...
This is a joke right? Those girls are hideous. Anyways, my response is :
Not to be cocky or anything, but I'm pretty hot. The thing about ugly guys going for hot girls, is ugly guys with money can score a fair amount of hot girls. Sure it's gold digging and blah blah, but the question is about attractive-ness. Not morals and values. Guys are mostly into banging girls, so who the hell would want to bang an ugly girl? How could you possibility of she doesn't turn you on? You couldn't, can't screw with a bendable d***. Some guys want a girlfriend to be able to show off, if she has a great personality and she happens to be really hot, then great.
yeah beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
i think men on average seem to see womens bodies according to what standards of beauty the media set. not always though, sometimes it depends on what ethnic group you're talking about, but to a certain extent everyone is affected. sometimes girls go around judging other girls more than some guys do. I think we all judge womens bodies too much because that is the culture we have developed for ourselves.
sometimes I wonder if men and women do see the female body differently on a fundamental level. I'm bisexual and I've observed some things that make me question that...
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