How do I be a jerk??

so I'm naturally a nice guy but seeing as how that gets me no where with girls, how can I be more of the jerk that they like ?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • dont do it brah trust me the worst decision you can ever make because then your being someone your not and you will get a lot of haters and not for good reasons so I say stick to being who you are don't rush it and don't be stuck on one girl so much I'm not saying go be a player but don't talk a girls head off you say hi to her a million times the only time you should go out of your way to do something for a girl is when she is your girlfriend but if you do that kind of stuff now you might scare a girls away so be cool laid back and just talk to a girl be friendly not creepy show her that your a gentleman and just if things work out with the right girls then just go from there the relationship will take its course naturally if you do everything right so forget the being a jerk thing becaise honestly I can get any girl over them if I wanted to but I found my girl by doing what I told you to do so trust me on this one I'm going on 1 year and 6 months so that should let you know that things are going well and its because we were mature about it and just talked like normal human beings that's all it takes just 2 people and the right vibe

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What Girls Said 28

  • LOL You want to change your entire attitude just because you feel the need to be liked by some girls? Excuse me but that sounds extremely pathetic.

    I am not going to lie, of course there are decent women who date assholes as of course there are nice guys who chase b*tches and as a result both sides complain about how horrible is the opposite gender.That's how stereotypes are born :]!

    Well I am pretty sure -at least about women- that it's not about nice VS jerks.It's about qualities that the majority of women look in men .Qualities such as confidence, independence , assertiveness, the ability of being a good protector etc.Jerk dudes unfortunately possess some of these qualities.That's why there are so many women attracted to them.

    For example:A nice guy most of the time is too scared to approach the woman he likes because he fears rejection and that's why it's difficult to him to take the initiative with her.Sometimes the nice guy makes himself look desperate in front of the woman he likes just because he doesn't know how to control his feelings. That's why he loses the game to a confident guy who feels more comfortable about asking her out. Women prefer guys who are capable of taking control and being responsible for their actions. I am pretty sure the reason why you get nowhere with girls isn't because you aren't a jerk .It's because maybe you lack some of the qualities I mentioned.

    Maybe you should start acting more confident, independed and taking responsibility for your actions.Be a challenge for them. You don't have to end up being a person who mistreats everyone for his own benefit.It's just not worth it.

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    • I dunno. Seems to me that there doesn't seem to be much of a downside to jerkdom. At least, they consistently get what they want.

    • What is it that women need to be protected from? .?.?. Jerks ya think?

    • It's like your trying to tell him to be a jerk who is not a jerk!

  • Don't be a jerk. That's not who you are and the most important thing is to be yourself around a girl. What if you end up really liking her and she likes you back, but ditches once she realizes you're not who you say you are? The most important thing is confidence, that's the most attractive quality a guy can have. If you know what you want and pursue it. The reason girls go for jerks most of the time is because look at them. They're confident, cocky mostly, know what they want, and go for it. Don't change yourself just to be more appealing to women, it never works out trust me.

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    • Of course, you should be yourself IF you qualify for the ten dozen thousand criteria women have.

    • Those girls are high maintenance and need to come down to earth let's be honest. They're going to end up old and alone because no one will fit their criteria.

  • Don't change for anyone. Continue being a good guy and eventually someone will appreciate you. Women at your age tend to go for the bad guys, but then realize that it's not working for them and that's when they come looking for you. Karma will come around and you will meet a woman who you wouldn't have to change for. Be true to yourself and do the right thing and you will be rewarded!

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    • bullsh*t, I don't want to be 30 when they're finally ready to settle down, at that point ill just plainly tell to f*** off

    • Maybe if you have that kind of attitude! There's no age range for when women want a good guy, it just depends on her growth. You can find a woman in her 20's who's ready!

    • I'd have to agree, if I get to 30 and still haven't found someone then I'm gonna stop looking and give up on women, having children and accept that I'm not good enough.

  • Don't be a jerk, just be patient. :) You don't want a girl who is insecure enough to date a guy who treats her like sh*t. :) There is a reason for everything, just be patient. :)

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  • i agree with these girls... don't be a jerk because no one wants to be around someone that is a jerk. be yourself but add a little bit of mystery and something exciting to your life. if you become that mysterious guy and don't let a girl know you like them but leave them hints that you might. then they will melt like butter. Don't play a girl, mean what you are doing. Don't break hearts on purpose.

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    • but why do you girls respond to that

      "don't let a girl know you like them but leave them hints that you might. then they will melt like butter"

      that's really what I don't understand

    • its because girls like the mysterious guys.. they want them to wooo them... show them that you are interested because girls have a hard time reading guys and being able to tell if your interested.

    • I'm really afraid of showing my interest... I can't find a way of doing it without handing over my balls... thanks for your answer

  • DON'TT DO IT! LOL immature girls may settle for a jerk but ultimately gown up women want a nice guy that's gonna stick around. Just like how guys have a double standard of wanting a girl to fool around with but wanna marry a virgin. Not all guys, but trust me alota them do.

    I actually wrote a whole paper about this. I'm looking for a nice guy. Anyhow,if your interested about learning more about why girls (not woment) fall for jerks and what you can do I can email you my paper. Just contact me on here.

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  • Being completly honest ; if you just want action be the biggest jerk ever to the girl. you'll get them fast.

    now if you want a actual girl that will stick around. be nice how you usally are but also be goofy

    if you make her smile I can garantee you'll be on her mind. because not many guys can accomplish that now a day s...

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  • Okay the truth is SMART girls don't like guys who treat them like crap. Maybe you've only met dumb girls that like jerks but nice guys are what attract me the most:)

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  • Girls don't like jerks. Don't change yourself for girls. Wait for the right girl. I don't like a jerky guy, I would probably fall for your type.

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  • You don't need to be a jerk, you just need to be confident. Know your worth & don't let others push you around. Women don't want you treat them like trash, they just want you to be confident & defend yourself.

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  • Well I mean some girls like to be demanded to do something but in a cute way

    They don't like someone that will kiss their a**

    I had a guy that I knew for a week that wanted to buy me a carrr and a new cell phonee!

    And I was like you gotta go! Its not cute to be that nice..

    Infact its really weird.

    Immature girls like a full jerk.

    Real girls like a half jerk ; and its not so much as they are a jerk, its just they show that they are strong and dependent and it makes girls feel secure safe and protected(:

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  • you don't have to be a jerk. Girls like guys who are sweet and funny but they kinda like when they play hard to get. it works.

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  • Jerks get dumped a lot, wouldn't suggest being one.

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  • Girls don't like jerks, I don't care what you say, they don't.

    As rude as it may sound, being a nice guy isn't why the girls don't like you. I don't know you so I can't tell you why they don't, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you're a nice guy.

    I had a thought... maybe they think of you more like a friend?

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    • The reason why a girl thinks of someone as a friend is because he wanted to approach her at first and she doesn't want to reject him off completely but he has various flaws that she would not be willing to accept on the long run. That's friendship. He's useful, just not someone to spend their lives with.

    • Uhmmm.. yes girls do like jerks!

  • I have a question. If you have to pretend to be someone you are not to get a girl then is she really worth your time and effort? I don't pretend to be a bitch because some guys like bitches because they are a challenge. I hate jerks, don't do it.

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  • be confident- make sure you don't initiate all communication with her, and make sure she's not always the one who ends it. girls want a boy who's a little bit mean and closed off, so that if you give her one compliment it will mean the world. if a girl gets compliments from a boy everyday they don't mean anything. you've gotta keep her guessing.

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    • its OK, I got rejected by 2 girls already, I give ip, Ill settle for dying alone

    • up*

  • For god sakes don't be a jerk. There's enough of them out there so don't be just like everyone else. That's plain retarded.

    Just be yourself!

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    • I've been myself for the past 21 years, it's not working

      (and just for the record I'm not hideous, I take care of my physical appearance)

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    • there's not "rush" per say, it just get's annoying that it SEEMS SEEMS that girls go for the more violent guys, however, I feel it has much more to do with security in ones self, it works for me.

    • There are multiple right persons for you. They just don't think of you as the right person due to your own flaws.

  • Dont be a jerk but just be exciting and dangerous girls love that. Girls don't really go for jerks . I personally really really really hate the guys that are jerks I just like guys that are more exciting and unpredictable.

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  • Don't you know that nice guys always finish last? If you want to be a real jerk, be self-righteous and be selfish. Girls like that...NOT! The right girl will come at the right time. If you stop looking for love, it will find you.

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    • Thats bullcrap! about the "stop looking for love it will find you". I'm 21 and I've never looked for love per say, and I've got nothing, I'm looking now because I'm sick of being alone. You hv to work at love to find it!

  • why do you want to be somthing your not be yourslef girl like both worlds so your fine just be more outgoing

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  • um, girls don't like jerks.

    Be yourself and the right girl will come along!

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  • Girls like bad boys, not jerks, there's a big difference. But not all girls are into that anyway, I know I'm not. I'd much prefer a good guy to a bad one. Don't change yourself for anyone.

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  • you have to be a mixture of a jerk, and a nice guy...that's like the PERFECT mixture for people like me!

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  • i hate jerks. don't be one.

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  • I hate jerks! don't become a jerk to please girls. The right girl will come around

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    • bullsh*t

    • Unfortunately this guy has the right idea. The young girls today are drawn to the losers like magnets

  • it isn't that black and white. are you attractive to many people physically? if not, not many girls are going to be jumping up and down to be with you and they will reject you. Get a makeover. Go to a salon or stylist and ask them to help clean up your look. google some things online to see if you can find consultations and makeovers at salons nearby. some people are beyond help, meaning even if you do clean up your look you may just be what many women see as ugly. still, you should try to improve. go to the dermatologist if you have acne or skin problems. see a nutritionist and go to a gym if you're not in shape, get some help with your wardrobe and style if need be.

    people skills. this is essential. you need charisma, charm, a sense of humor. know when to laugh, what kinds of jokes to make, how to flirt, how to compliment girls, how to converse and make yourself interesting without being overwhelming or a weirdo, etc. body language too. a lot of so called nice guys are kind of nerds and geeks. no sense of how to carry themselves in a way that attracts women at all. get help in this area. be a better communicator. these are skills that will benefit you much more in general, communication with people, than simply relying on being a jerk or nice guy.

    do you have money? if you're completely broke that's fine, but understand the types of girls you are not going to get. I'm not saying any kind of girl is better than the other because that's not true. I'm just saying there's a reality here. are you going for girls who are so good looking that they have the option of getting with guys who have money, jobs, cars, good looks, etc. then you need to rise to the competition if its that important to you. especially if the girl has money and a nice car too. being broke is not attractive, but some girls won't care. still, it helps in the types of clothes you can buy, upkeep in appearance, what kind of dates you can take her on, etc.

    also how are you approaching these girls? are they people you have gotten to know a little bit (best option)? or complete strangers? if you're lacking as much as you must be lacking if you are constantly rejected, then you should hold off on approaching complete strangers if your confidence is so weak that you are giving up already.

    thats the next thing, confidence. being a jerk isn't what most girls want, though some girls do. jerks have confidence. or at least they portray themselves that way. they seem the most confident to many girls, and the funniest, and things like that.

    Being funny will get you a long way with girls I think. of course, I mean a humor that is palpable to the general population and not your weird humor that few people are likely to get.

    which brings me to my last point. where are you meeting these girls? look at the things you are interested in, places you like to hang out, and look for girls there. if you go after the same types in same places, and seen no results, then change something. or try e-dating.

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    • also so called nice guys tend to be boring, lacking any excitement or spontaneity or passion to may girls. that's where "bad boys" get the advantage. however, not all bad boys are jerks.

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    • Sedstar is my hero.

    • Also agreeing with sedstar.

  • The women who are attracted to jerks are usually jerks them self's, or they are insecure, self loathing or highly neurotic, only some one like that wants to be put down and treated like sh*t. If you want a good woman stay as you are, good men and women are hard to find so you must give it time because, there is a good woman out there some where trying to find a good man.

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  • i dated a jerk once. for a month. it took some time to realize he was a jerk because he was charming at first. once I realized he was a sexist womanizing immature asshole, I dumped him.

    i've been with a classic "nice guy" for 4 years now.

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What Guys Said 31

  • Warning:

    Use the following recipe AT YOUR OWN RISK

    The answerer takes no responsability for any damage inflicted by following the procedure

    *****************************************************

    This is the recipe how the best jerks are made:

    1. Find a girl who likes you

    2. Give her your whole heart

    3. Wait to see how she breaks it. Be patient if necessary

    4. Pick up the pieces, burn them to ashes.

    6. voilè, a jerk has been born. And since you were once a nice guy, you know how to act like one when you need to. Perfect jerkness.

    Most Jerks I know weren't "born" that way. They were created, by a girl, this way

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  • You do not want to be a jerk. You say "but seeing as how that gets me no where" what does that mean? You don't get girlfriends or you don't ever have sex? You don't want to change yourself too much to find a girl. Maybe work on some problems. Maybe like working on talking to them more, or what to say when talking to them. Never change who you are. You know why? When you change who you are, it is an act. You will attract the wrong kind of girl and you will never be happy.

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  • > how can I be more of the jerk that they like ?

    Feeling sorry for yourself and that your current frustration is women's fault is an excellent start.

    You know better, and can turn things round.

    > SEEMS girls go for the more violent guys

    No woman with a brain does. What happens when the violence gets turned on them or their children one day?

    > I'm naturally a nice guy

    This is a necessary but not sufficient quality to meet and have fun with people. Nice doesn't mean weak, and nice doesn't mean you can't assert what matters to you when the time is right, in the right way. Believe in yourself, and don't compromise on what matters.

    Don't ditch your values, but do start doing more things with other people (some club or gym or whatever), and meet some new people. It is much easier to carve out a persona other people aren't prejudiced about if you haven't been working with them for 5 years, or in school with them for years etc.

    All good wishes with this.

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    • It's funny most of the guys on here don't seem to want to be jerks but it looks like we girls are the ones creating the jerks

  • The real "bad boy" that girls are immediately drawn to are Spontaneous, unpredictable, rebellious, mysterious, and are ironically more sensitive then the shy nice guys. And so women try to get to that center because its a real chore to get to. Look at James Dean, he was the absolute most sensitive person like ever of that time ha. But people still saw him as a "rebel" or "bad boy" Those are the bad boys women drool over. Not like assholes, jerks, or pricks. So having those traits make women gravitate to you. But its either you got it or you don't. Look at the movie "the thing called love" with River Phoenix. The main girl went on a date with River's character they kissed and hooked up and then ignored her and kind of was distant, so she started spending time with the "nice sweet guy" but then out of nowhere River's character had her come up on stage and sing with him. And that unpredictability made her fall for River's character all over again. And dump the nice guy. And throughout the movie River's character's behavior was constantly unpredictable and that gives women a thrill. I mean it got so unpredictable River's character proposed to her in a gas station with a ring from one of those quarter machines. See he was constantly spontaneous and unpredictable and she loved the thrill of not know what's going to happen tomorrow. That's what women want. But like I said there is no training in this or becoming like this. Its either you got it or you don't.

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  • Let love come to you naturally. Trust me. Love wants to find you, not you try to find it. Also, it takes a lot of hard work to be a jerk and it takes very little work to be a nice guy. Also, nice guys always finish first. You know why, bad things happen to guys who act like jerks that eliminates them from the race. Don't be jerk. Be a nice guy. Hope this advice has changed your mind and good luck with you situation!

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  • do-you-mean-a-jerk-that-is-vulgar?-Just-smile-(also-smile-with-your-eyes)and-discover-a-talent-you're-interested-in-and-make-your-self-busy-on-purpose-when-someone-talks-to-you-say-Oh!-Right-On!-and-don't-even-think-about-how-bad-you-look-because-people-judge-that-(it's-f***ing-retarded-i-know)but-it-works-for-me-and-now-i-have-lots-of-friends/girlsfriends

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  • I was going to say well, I don't think you really have to be a jerk, but the more I thought about it, you may be right. I was talking about this with a friend of mine who is about the nicest, mellowest guy you could meet, and we were talking about how we have so much trouble meeting women, while his redneck a-hole brother has girls flocking to him.

    Girls always say they are looking for a nice guy, but look whose arm they end up on...

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  • I feel for you, I used to be in a similar situation during high school and got fed up with being second best/ the friend zone. When I got to college, went through a big breakup, I decided to be the guy that I envisioned girls would be interested in almost automatically.

    This is just what worked for me, but warning ahead of time, it's only a temporary facade unless some serious soul searching accompanies it. Think about what you want to be. Confident? Witty? Humorous? Think about what "that guy" would act like, how he would carry himself, how he'd walk, etc. Then, start to change your behavior to follow suit more closely to that ideal.

    I dated four girls at the same time for months following this method. Girls LOVE confidence. If a guy acts like he KNOWS he's the best looking guy in the room and that he KNOWS that girls would be foolish to pass such a catch up, the girls will be falling over themselves for you.

    Again, this is what worked in my experience. I'm trying to find a happy medium between nice, sensitive, supportive me and the confident facade that I concocted 5 years ago.

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  • You can't just be a jerk be you can start being more of a jerk. stop caring about her feelings and only thinking about yourself. If she says something you think is stupid then tell her she's a dumb bitch. Girls tell you they don't like that but watch the way guys treat girls and tell me they dont. I used to be a really nice guy and had a lot of girls that were friends but they wouldn't date me. Now I'm a lot more of a d***head and those girls want to get together( or maybe because I have a lot more money). You have to be rude if you want a girl to date you.

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  • You should get some confidence. In those 21 years how many girls have you asked out? Are you standards to high? I personally only ask out girls I am attracted to, I am single now however I have at least 2 dates a month. Asking out at least 4 girls, most of them having boyfriends and if I see no interest Ill just move on. I don't plan on lowering my standards. If I work out and eat healthy I expect a girl who thinks about her fitness and health. I learn about their personality during the date.

    I am not a jerk and I never plan to be. I don't think you need to be a jerk to get a girl. That is just some weird stereotype, jealous, shy nerds made up.

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  • It's not so much that they like jerks, per se, but rather that they like the kind of confidence and subtle danger they exude. Nice guys are predictable and comfortable...but kind of boring. They may know mentally that you're the kind of guy they should get, but that's like saying you know you should eat more vegetables and lay off the cookies: we all know we should, but do we WANT to? Instead of becoming a jerk, try to be exciting or interesting in some way. Keep her guessing, or better yet, laughing. Girls love that. ;)

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  • so, yeah, an obvious lack of guys in here. The truth of it is, girls tend to like the guys that can be "manly" as in they seem to like the confident type, not the arrogant flamboyant guy (which is hard to to differentiate from). I'm not saying this is true for all women it just works for me. Stop being so afraid be more secure in yourself, you don't have to look like a guy who just built the log cabin he was born in to be attractive.

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    • @ItalianBro

      Sorry about the beginning of my post, I didn't see you in here.

  • None of the girls who like jerks are worth dating. Stick to being naturally a good guy and you will have a much more fun and much longer lasting relationship. You may just be looking in the wrong place for the girl who will match up to your personality type.

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  • Dude all you gotta do is be yourself... I was like that when a was a freshman sophomore. I just go after enough girls that rejection doesn't slow me down. If I girl says well maybe we can hangout sometime say forget it then I don't want to make it a hassle. When ever you get an opportunity to start like a little drama...DO IT girls say they don't like it but they lovvvvvve it. If you get rejected acting as if you don't care is the main thing we see in jerks so just take it as an opportunity to go hit in another girl... Honestly If I just got rejected be a girl then I just say okay and then I look for the most attractive girl near the sought of rejection and go for it because then the girl that just rejected you wants you even more and she realizes she is nothing special but wants to prove to you that she is something special. Hope I helped!

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  • Girls who like jerks usually have a mean streak. Though jerks might get the one night stands (because the girls won't ever have to interact with them again), a healthy relationship that lasts is always is awarded to the nice guy. Hope you find the right person soon :)

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  • just be honest when talking to girls. when you see a girl you would like to go past first base with just talk to her. don't not suck up to her, she's not better than you. if you are one of those guys who gets to scared to talk to a girl because you think she is too pretty imagine her with no make up. she going to lose at least 3 points on the attractive scale if she's lucky. id say losing 5 points is the average. just pray she doesn't do a katy perry.

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  • Truth is, girls like good-looking jerks. Not ugly jerks. If you are good-looking you can try to pull it off. Otherwise, concentrate on making lots of money. Then you can be a jerk to everyone.

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  • if you really want to be a jerk I shall take you under my wing but prepared for every other guy shall/will hate on you

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  • Just act like Chris Brown,duh!

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  • Stop putting others first, be cocky and hard to get, tease girls. My favorite thing to say to them is "buy me a drink if you're going to hit on me like that"

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  • just be a MAN.. be nice and flirty but when the girl challenges you put your fut down.. don't be mean to her just put her in her place when she steps out of line :P

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  • You just have to be funny, but also have that attitude like you could care less that you're around them... like "oh this just another place for me to be"... and go out and have stupid fun with your friends without inviting them, but make sure you see them there.. they'll think your so badass and "dangerous" haha

    it really is pathetic what these girls fall for/like.

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  • just try not to be a push-over, be like a hard-to-get guy

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  • Slap them in the t*ts.

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  • if you wanna be a jerk just look at all my anwsers lol

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  • lol you don't have to be a jerk to get a girl. you just have to treat them like theyre human. not like godesses not like queens. but humans. if they like you for that and theyre not as shallow as wed like to think theyre not. then you're good to go. jerks are too scared to be in a relationship that's why they mouth off at their girl and make them run away

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  • Lolzzz, there is difference between being nice and being wussy. When usually guys act nice to gals they came out as weak, deperate , foot mat , spineless.

    Or you can be confident, strong will , boost up, with self esteem and be called arrogant jerk.

    Ur call!

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  • Truth be told. Most guys like guys who are jerks and treat them like total garbage. They ignore the nice guys such as yourself and keel over at the sight of some f***ing vampire bullsh*t from Twilight or Aeropostale Model Boy. They're too worried about how fast they can get f***ed than about the meaning of the relationship as a whole. Just be normal, if she's a ho or a slut then treat her like one. To be honest being a gentleman today gets you no where today. Bitches are a rapidly growing percentage of the female population and the epidemic is spreading. I suggest you seek an arranged marriage because those last. Before you start bashing it look at the divorce rates and you'll be amazed. In that sense you are not bound to marriage it requires that the partners spend time with each other to get to know the other. Just walk around with a big d*** and you'll be fine. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • it's not about being a jerk. It's about showing you like a girl but can just as easily live fine without her. Which is how you should be anyway. Never become completely dependant on another person.

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