I'm 22, and I'm a lifetime single. ("Hi ringlets02".. an aa reference.. just jokes... maybe it's my corny jokes...)
I honestly scare guys away and I don't know why. All my girl friends, older women, etc. say I'm pretty, but I can't see it because honestly, the only time I get attention is from men who are way older than me, or obviously interested in sex.
I'm looking for a sweet boy who loves God (please no hurtful comments on this :)).. I just don't understand. I graduated college, and I've still never been asked out by the type of guy I want to attract. Only online, when the guy had met me two years ago, but it didn't work out.. long story.
Do I look like I'm 12? (In which case, guys who talked to me would all be pedophiles..)
The thing is, I'm scared of guys I'm attracted to. And I think I might come off as a jerk. Would this be the reason? Or do I just physically attract certain (creepy older) men? (Please note, I don't mean glances or whatever, I mean obviously aggressive men who look at me like I'm a piece of meat.. just the other day I was sitting at starbucks with a friend, and a group of guys were staring at me while talking loudly about date rape.. ugh)
Should I try harder to be more approachable? Honestly, I am scared to death of guys I like, and it takes all my willpower to even make eye contact. I've tried to message the guy I like on fb (who is also shy.. awesome..) but he only responds.. never initiates.. I've ignored him a few times by accident (meaning I was too scared to look at him for fear I might fall over or drool would fly out of my mouth... you know.. logical things). Could it be me? or does he just not like me? ugh. Fear.
Alright. Let me know what you think, please :)
Most Helpful Girl
Approachability is key. If you are this afraid of guys you like, well it will come through loud and clear as insecurity or they will mistakenly believe you don't like them at all. Until you work through your fears and your apparent belief that you don't deserve to have a great guy, you will continue to experience great difficulties in meeting someone. Until your view of your world includes the thought that it is perfectly normal and natural for a guy you like to approach you and that it is not a fear inducing event, you will struggle.
I would seek the help of a therapist to have an honest opinion from an expert who can guide you and who is not going to judge you like friends and family will.
Oh, and if you are cute, yes, you will get unappreciated attention from guys that you would never want to date. It happens. We cannot control the universe to only have guys we are interested in approaching us. We cannot also control having only polished thoughtful guys approaching us. There are many foolios out there to provide this irritation. Just ignore them. I used to get so aggravated about this myself and then I realized I was just aggravated that I had not met a guy I wanted to date and I had to let it go. I did not want this negative vibe to be a part of who I was.0