What should I do I'm if I'm no longer attracted to my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. We have been living together for over 5 years and we spend almost every day together. He is sweet, charming, and funny. He’s very supportive and encouraging of me and my dreams, and he treats me nicer than any other guy I’ve ever dated. When we first starting dating we had a lot of passion and I felt really attracted to him, but now I see him as more of a friend and I feel weird having sex with him. For a long time I thought something was wrong with me, like maybe I had become asexual and I felt really guilty about not being attracted to him. Then something happened at a party I was at. A really cute guy was flirting with me and I guess we bonded somewhat and I just felt so insanely attracted to him (no we didn’t do anything). However, he made me feel beautiful and sensual, although I never saw or talked to him again I continued to think about him for months and months.

Anyways, it made me realize that maybe something within my current relationship was off and now and then I think I should break up with my boyfriend because I often find myself attracted to other guys but not him. Now when my boyfriend and I have sex I think of the other guys I’m attracted to instead of him! I feel awful about it and I don’t know what to do.

There is of course more to it, my current boyfriend has always had a small sort of casual drug problem and I’ve tried to work with him on it but I am never quite convinced that he is really abstaining. For example, over the summer I caught him doing drugs that he swore he had stopped doing! It really hurt me and we almost broke up, but I was too confused at the time and I ended up staying. Then we stopped having sex for a few months and when he asked me why I said that it was because of the drugs. So then he said he would stop the drug use and he and I have been getting along a little better.

However, just this past weekend we were at a party and I found out that one of his friends brought a bunch of drugs there. And I saw him go into the bathroom with another guy, to do drugs I’m guessing? That night we made out and then I fell asleep. The next morning he woke up really angry at me and said that he didn’t do any drugs so I should have had sex with him!?!

So I know that most of the replies will be like this is a no-brainer but the problem is I don’t know how to get out of this relationship. It feels like I will never be able to get out. Aside of this one problem, he's the nicest guy to me, and I don't know what to say to him. Besides, we share many of the same friends and I don’t have an income other than student loans. Also I think I am attracted mostly to other bad boys so I don’t even know if it makes sense to break up if I just seem to fall for the same thing again? I’m confused, please be kind in your replies. Thanks.


Most Helpful Girl

  • ive bin threw something familiar. And its hard to go threw. All you hav to do is be gentle about it. tell him straight out that you don't have the same feelings for him that you used to. and that you can't be with him anymore.

    But before that and make sure you want to. think about your 5 years together and try to find the point in time where you started to lose your feeling for him. You just want to make sure breaking up with him is the right thing to do. because ince a relationship is over with it can be almost impossible to get back

    • Thanks, I agree with you. I need to think things over some more and make sure I'm taking the right decision cause I'm not sure if he would take me back if I discovered I made the wrong choice.

What Guys Said 2

  • is it his looks your not attracted to or his lifestyle?

    • Well, the thing is that do I enjoy parties but I myself don't do drugs at them ever. When my boyfriend goes to those parties he's always running off to do "something". It would just be nice if he wouldn't do that anymore. Other than that, he actually is cute and very sweet, I'm just getting tired it. And I realized it over the summer when I started liking other people. I don't know though, he has done many many things for me so it's difficult to just be kicking him to the curb.

  • DO NOT break up with him that would be messed up just cause he isn't hot anymore.


What Girls Said 0

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