Is it weird that I love physical pain?

i love physical pain. not like falling off your bike and scraping your knee all to pieces pain but pain like getting a new piercing, or wanting a scarification done type pain. I don't know how to explain to my boyfriend that I love pain. well I haven't had pain in a while and I'm having withdraws badly, because pain to me is an addiction. its like a drug addiction. my boyfriend has never had a girlfriend before that loves pain and likes to give herself pain. pain takes me to my happy place. its very relaxing. do yall think that this is weird by any chance and if not how do you expalin this to someone you are in a relationship with who is not used to things like that.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally, I think light pain, relating to intimacy with a lover, done for the right reasons, can be good. I realize that this is not strictly what you are talking about, but as for doing it with your boyfriend, maybe look at the Why's of why you are doing it and enjoying it.

    You mention that pain for you is like a drug addiction, that it takes you to a happy place. This suggests to me two things, one or the other, or possibly both: I would imagine you know about the endorphins, adrenaline, and other chemicals which are usually released when pain is felt, that make you feel good. I don't think you do it just for this though, not like someone who cuts just to feel good.The second idea that came to me, purely guessing of course, is that maybe a part of you feels a psychological need for punishment, for whatever reason, and thus, you may feel the need to punish yourself.

    Moving on from that, I think maybe you could ease into this kind of thing by starting with something like some simple dominance or coercion techniques from him, getting him to be more dominant and showing him that you like it like that. Getting him to start with things like pinning you, or spanking you, and then moving towards more physically painful things that you like, may work, as he may be more accepting to get there in small steps than a big leap to causing you pain. To cause pain to a lover, even for pleasure, usually takes a strong bond, a certain level of trust, or a particular mind type (that would be, the type that likes to cause pain).

    Or, failing in this, even say directly to him what makes you feel good, if you think he'll be okay with it. though I would hazard a guess that a certain amount of trust and acceptance would be needed if he did not have similar desires himself.

    But then, these are all only my opinions...

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    • no you actually make sense because I just recently told him that he is in charge and that he is to be the dominant one, he doesn't understand why the change since we've been together for a year now and I all a sudden don't want to make decisions and I love the spanking, the hard spanking. all that. but even as a child I loved physical pain and even though at one point in my life I was a cutter, I did cut myself that felt amazing as well, I haven't done that in years but it all feels so good to me,

What Guys Said 3

  • Seems to be your fetish. I don't find it too weird, as long as the pain doesn't escalate to something life threatening.

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    • no nothing life threatening. but I need to figure out how to explain it to my boyfriend. any advice?

  • The specific stimuli released upon feeling pain are intrinsically supposed to make us feel hurt - pain is essentially your body's way of telling you something is wrong, so if you like it then... let's just say it raises more questions than it could possibly answer. That's a nice way of saying you're f-cked in the head, BTW. Try explaining this to a psychologist, if anyone, because feeling good from pain is paradoxical indeed and not the reaction a human's "wiring" is supposed to elicit.

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    • actually there is nothing metnally wrong with liking physical pain, even as a child pain doesn't bother me. I felt it yes, and it made me stop doing what I was doing but it has never affected me like it should. there is nothing wrong wih me, lots of people in tihs world like pain, it triggers something in the brain that feels good, yes it may hurt all at the same time but there is nothing wrong with liking pain.

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    • im not looking for popularity.

    • Haha seriously? I did not say you were. Heh.

  • I kinda like pain too but only some kinds of pain...

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What Girls Said 5

  • There is nothing wrong with this. We all have our little kinks.

    I did a quick google search because you got me interested in this.. "In the normal human body, pain triggers the release of endorphins -- natural opiates -- that help you to manage the pain." I saw an episode of.. hmm.. can't remember now, but this guy was addicted to getting tattoos because he loved the feeling of it. Anything can be an addiction, but a healthy fetish is nothing to worry about.

    Talk to your boyfriend about it, if you're sexually active (I'm guessing you are and want to add this into the mix) I recommend a safe word just in case things get too heavy for either party. I'm sure he will understand your fetish, or at least in time, and I wouldn't be surprised if your honesty made him open up to you about his own fantasies that maybe he was worried about how you'd respond.

    It is very important that you do introduce this about yourself in relationships, because that is the only way you can truly be happy (kinda like why some men go to a dominatrix or cheat because they are not getting what they need at home) otherwise you wouldn't be having withdrawals.

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    • well I ahve been with this guy for over a year now and he knows I like pain but just not to what extent I like pain. no its not sexual pain I crave. its pain like putting holes in my body type pain. to a degree, yes biting is nice. I am kinky like that as well but I like different types of pain. sexual pain is one, but I am a sucker for pain like scarification and piercings. I am the girl who used to carve things into herself with a safety pin because I was bored in class after doing all my work

  • It's called being masochistic, or a masochist. I am one too. And it's not that uncommon. I know heaps.

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  • It is a little weird, but to each their own.

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  • Mmmm, well it's not normal, but I mean, to each their own I guess.

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  • It's not necessarily weird -- just different. You're a masochist. If you want your boyfriend to give you pain, encourage him to be rough with you in bed.

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    • i know I am a masochist. but I am trying to figure out how to explain that to my boyfriend. how do you tell someone you have been with for a year now that you like to put holes in your body and carve into yourself? nothing life threatening. I'm not trying to kill myself but getting piercings and tattoos is like an addiction. its like being addicted to drugs. I love pain, not just sexual pain. I love pain in general. how do you tell people that w/o sounds crazy.?

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    • Well tell him then...

    • im trying to figure out how because he's 1. not used to things like that 2. will freak because I wanna hurt myself 3.already fights with me over other things I wanna do to my body that causes pain.

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