What is it about me? What do you guys find attractive?

What is it about me that I have so many problems holding onto guys as just friends?

I actually have pretty low self confidence despite what most people think, but I think I am pretty average when it comes to attractiveness, but most of my guy friends at school have feelings for me other then friends. I am pretty laid back too which is why I have so many guy friends I hope.

My ex boyfriend also says that while I am single, guys will be all over me and he is jealous.

I'm average, 5' 6", 125 pounds, brown hair, green eyes, I have a beauty mark on my cheek just like the actress in my picture, but I also have a lot of problems with my skin. I have mild acne, but I guess I think it is a lot worse then everyone else does.

I mean I guess it is nice to be liked, but I have a lot of guy friends and I do want them to be JUST my friends, so how do I do this? what am I doing that makes them have feelings for me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of guys tend to go after girls because they want more than just friendships. Guys that want to be just friends will probably do so with other guys. Man-law type stuff of just hanging out and doing stuff without catering to how women feel. That's not to say there aren't any guys that don't mind just being friends... but if you're as good looking as you sound and say, most guys will initially pursue you off the start because they find you attractive. The fact that you're laid back just makes it that much easier to get to know you.

    If you're looking for more guys that will just be your friend, try looking for guys that are are not single and have other "girl" friends. Look in different places. If you're in college, try the music or theater apartments. A lot of people there are just family type people (and that's any college). Or get gay friends, lol. If it seems like all the guys you know are all the same and want to get up with you for more than just friendship, is it safe to assume you meet them all in the same fashion?

    Also don't read into it, maybe some of your friends are just being friends, but if it feels like you're not sure, just say something. Say it subliminally and put them into the friend zone if that's where you want them. It may suck for the guy, but if you're not looking for a boyfriend, and you're tired of being pursued as such, let them know. Guard what actions you allow to happen to you, such as trying to cuddle you or hold your hand and such.

    Expect guys to take advantage of the fact that you're single now. They tend to be like vultures and will jump on that opportunity, because they already know other guys will try. Look at it like a "competitive market." Its not to say that you're an item, waiting to be sold... but many guys see dating and such in that manner.

    Bottom line? Allow things that you don't mind to happen. Don't allow things that you don't want to happen.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I say this all the time a lot of guys that are friends with women want a relationship but just don't know how to go about it. I don't think most guys are saying to themselves she's a nice girl and I'll go for it but they were initially attracted to you to some extent and just ended up in the friend zone because they didn't know what to do. Some guys will even hang around and act like a friend while your dating another guy knowing their waiting for that other guy to slip up.

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    • so what happens when the guys slips up? I just got out of a relationship with my boyfriend of over a year and I admit I am a little nervous to deal with my guy friends when I go back to school as a single girl. so what should I expect?

    • I can't predict the future lol but I'd say some of your "friends" will become more aggressive in terms of pursuing a relationship or just sex. Others will act the same.

  • As a friend, the guy's gotten to know you, he's comfortably around you, you're friends which means you get along, and if he finds you attractive, chances are feelings will develop and he'll strive for more. As a guy there's pretty much no stopping it except by force of will. It's a pretty sh*tty situation really.

    As for what you can do? Nothing except drop really overt hints that you only want to be friends. Some will get it and push any feelings aside, others won't. Some will initially get what you're saying by eventually get to the point they're willing to risk it.

    When you're friends, it becomes very difficult to judge when a girl just wants a platonic relationship and when she might want more (without some really overt signal).

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What Girls Said 1

  • hate it break it to you, but that's just how guys are. and they are especially like that towards girls that they think they have a chance with. I'm not saying you're a slut, I'm saying you're not intimidating. and you're probably nice to them, so they think "hey a nice girl who isn't scary, ill go for it."

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