I think we have communication problems!!!

My Husband and I just had an argument. I can from a messy background. I have cleaned up my act. I’m not messy and imp still working on it. My husband is a clean freak. Every morning before I leave for work I take a few minutes to clean up anything I may have left out. One because it’s my responsibility, and two because imp sick of hearing him bitch. Before I would leave my shoes by the table leave a cup out sometimes leave some clothes on my dresser and leave my curling iron out so it can cool off. I have made sure to clean up everything . Yes sometimes I forget and he has to clean it up. He is currently unemployed so he takes care of the house during the day. I make sure every morning there is nothing of mine to pick up. The only time there are dishes in the sink is when it’s his turn to do the dishes and he does them in the morning and that’s fine. We have a thing that he cooks I clean ,I cook he cleans. Well this morning I was about to walk out the door and he ask me to pick my clothes off the bathroom floor. Yes, I forgot imp sorry. so I pick it up and leave. We only have one car so he takes me to work. we started talking about cleaning up the house right when I get home so he is not doing it all day( the things you really have to do is just Wipe everything down vacuum and maybe do the dishes) He said that’s only if you clean up after yourself. I took that as an insult. It makes me feel that no matter what I do its never good enough. So I say I do clean my stuff up. He goes off to say " your shoes by the table your hair $hit on everywhere." I have not had that much sh*t out for 4 months. I have been making sure I put everything away. We argued about that for a while. then finally he said "it's the little $hit. your earrings your hair tie your bobby pins."Yes I leave my bobby pins on my dresser, I make sure I put my hair this away. and I put my earrings away if I even use them because lately I haven’t wore any. So I say "OK I’m sorry you made it sound like I leave everything out every day all the time" He said my sorry is not worth $hit, then he repeats the argument. I try to tell him again I make sure I clean up after myself buy apparently I am missing things. He interrupts me and I just shut up till I get to work and leave. He says all I do is make excuses. I can never admit that imp wrong. and I act like a 7 year old. What do you think? I don’t feel that I’m wrong, I act my age ,and I don’t make excuses. Am I wrong? the counter. Your cup on your side table. Your cloths on the floor. Your earrings


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What Guys Said 1

  • have to admit he is getting anal here. think back to when he was working...was he just as anal about cleaning or less. when a husband isn't working, we feel misplaced. we are supposed to a provider and he probably resents you for working while he isnt. may be on a subconscience level tho. there is definitely some communication problems. I think you need to find a way to get him to tell what's really going on here!

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    • When he was working it was the same way. He tells me he feels like crap becasue he is not working. I let him know that I don't hold it against him and I know what happen is not his fault. I never thought he could possibly resent me for having a job. I'm not sure how to get him to tell me what really going on. it seems like anytime I talk to him I seem to say the wrong thing and I insult his ablility to do anything. If he makes a mistake he beats himself up. I tell him its just a mistake.

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    • I'll try that. I hope it works. I am doubtfull because this isn't the first time. It was going on long before he lost his job. I just done feel like I can ever talk to him about anything becaseu he shoots it down and automaticly I am makeexcuses for something.

    • let me know how it goes in specific. you seem very sincere and serious about fixing this so I can't see how he is responding this way, unless he is "trying" to get you to leave him. guys do that when they can't break(divorce or what have you) up with someone up...as in too scared to face the music. I sincerely hope that is not the case. he can't be anal for the sake of it. it must be passive agressive for some reason...since you are trying. good luck!

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