Girls with guy best friends?

Hi : ) I wanna know what guys think about their girlfriends, or a girl they want to date, having a guy best friend (nothing sexual, no flirting, or anything like that).

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But it changes everything when the guy best friend is gay correct? And I mean full out gay, not like 'flamer' but to the point where girls are close, correct?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wow, that's a really good question. Most men are put off by a girl (or a woman) who has a best friend that is a guy. The truth is; most guys can't get past their own fear with this concept. It's funny though, the fears vary widely. The most basic fear a guy has about a girl/woman with a guy best friend has to do with the influence of the best friend,

    I once met a very attractive woman in a shoe store and we talked our way right out of the store and into the parking lot. We agreed to meet later that night and she told me that she was bringing a friend along. I said OK and didn't give much thought. She brought her best friend (a guy) with her and we hung out for hours. Later her Best friend told me in the restroom that she really liked me and was hoping that I could see her again. I told him I would and thanked him for telling me. We became very close for many years. And her Boyfriend was never against anything that we did together.

    A lot of guys don't want to think about a woman/girl who has a guy best friend. But they are unaware of the advantages. If they were ever a best friend to a woman/girl, they would know how this could work in their favor. But since the concept is so foreign to them, their closed minds cannot be fed this wisdom.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Im totally cool with it as long as my girl is honest and mature enough to bring it to my attention and not hide it purposefully ya know. Cause my BFF is a female and there's nothing sensual or romantic going on between us cause she doesn't see me that way , and I have long sinse ceased to. So I would let my girl know who my BFF was and explain to her how things are between myself and my BFF so she knows sooner rather than suddenly finding out later on ya know. That way I think there is a better chance of trust building between all parties involved and makes things easier on everyone. Cause I've made up my mind that whoever my significant other becomes (if it isn't my BFF by some huge turn of events) that she'll have to accept us both as a packaged deal so to speak or it won't last long.

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  • I have no problem with my girl having a good guy friend. There are a few pieces to this.

    1. People are people first and gendered second. Genuine friendship happens where it happens. This should not be cut off because of gender.

    2. All my life I have had good women friends. Mostly these women have just stayed friends. Only once has one converted to lover status, and at that time I was otherwise between girlfriends. (We are still together five years later, and it just keeps getting better.) It was great knowing her so well before we became intimate.

    3. I have been with a girl in the past who was polyamorous. She didn't play around a lot, but that was always part of our relationship. For me it was mostly hot. I liked that she was her own person and expressed her sexuality. I liked that she was up front with me about what she did.

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  • I'd be totally okay with it as long as he had a girlfriend or wife, and my girlfriend had never done anything with him

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  • "guy best friend" ...he better be gay or asexual...or much uglier than her... I wouldn't be cool with it unless I met the guy and got a sense of who he is and felt he wasn't the type to hang around and get all touchy feely with his friends and try to snuggle every night while secretly springing boners. Ok, I exaggerated the last parts about the boners but you get what I mean.

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  • No problem, men shouldn't do silly about it

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  • well I had a girlfriend whose family kindoff adopted her guy best friend, so it was kinda different he was more like her brother in that regard so I guess that doesn't really count, it was a terrible relationship though, not that having a guy best friend had anything to do with that lol

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  • u can rate me down and call me insecure all you want

    but a guy best friend (unless he's gay) is a turn off and repellant to most guys

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    • I don't see it as an insecure thing. Because the two obviously get along really well so what's keeping them from being together? And a lot girls aren't OK with a guy with a straight girl best friend. But anyways, but can guys tell if the guy best friend is guy if he isn't outright with it?

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    • But would you take the chance to approach the girl to see if he's gay or would you just forget it if you saw them walking and talking but with a good distance between them?

    • i would probably forget about it

  • Your girlfriend should be your best friend, not another guy. That guy that is "just a friend" would for sure sleep with you if you gave him the chance, which goes to say he's waiting around for his chance and will probably try to push the girl away from her boyfriend

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  • instant turn off and I move on, because it would be weird and if he's straight, he probably has plans for her

    no thanks

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    • So because you're insecure, a girl can't have friends? Haha.

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    • I let my boyfriend have female friends and I'm OK with it.

    • What you call insecurity today you will call something else tomorrow when you feel the same. This is my opinion from personal observation and experience.

  • no it's not ever OK. You only need one man in your life

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  • I've had a situation that happened to me in the past, where my girlfriend (at the time) cheated on me with her best friend who happened to be a guy when she was drunk :( So I don't like any girl I'm dating now having a really close guy friend.

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  • I wouldn't like it. I've been the friend so I know the friend always really wishes the girl was his girlfriend plus some of the women I've known in the past just liked keeping guy friends around as a spare boyfriend because they hate being single. So maybe I would be wrong but I would assume there was more than just a friendship going on and I would not like it and probably not even bother going on any more dates with a girl with a guy best friend.

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  • I have been best friends with plenty of girls, and I think it is a very healthy thing to do. Especially in middle/high school, when you just don't know much about the opposite sex.

    However, I have been told that a completely platonic relationship between a straight guy and girl is impossible. Either one party or the other has at least SOME romantic interest in the other.

    I have found this out first hand. Many of the girls I was only friends with have later confessed to me or to friends about old secret crushes on me, and I will admit that deep down I have had some crushes too. That sort of stuff stirs up jealousy in relationships (as I have also found.. girls are jealous! haha)

    So basically if you have to keep your friend, don't talk about him too much, or play the gay card or something.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I have a lot of guy friends. My boyfriend has told me if it were up to him I would be less close with them, but he trusts that nothing will happen between me and them because they're like brothers to me, not to mention the fact they basically consider me "One of the guys"

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  • One of my best friends is a guy too and it's so frustrating because he happens to be very attractive and people always assume we're a couple. It even made my last boyfriend hesitant to talk to me because I was at a party with him when we first met. so yeah I would say it definitely makes other guys feel threatened. but if the guy likes you enough and isn't super jealous or possessive it shouldn't be a deal breaker, it never was for me.

    BUT I have also had an experience where a boyfriend actually became close friends with another girl whom he had asked out before. I never acted jealous, but I should have because he ended up leaving me for her :(

    so I understand both sides

    but if you two have always been close without ever being involved romantically it should be fine.

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  • My best friend is a guy, but he is gay, but its hard to tell.

    Guys don't pay attention to you if you have a dude with you js...

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    • That's where I'm at too. This guy is GAY so I was wondering if that still is a turn off to guys

  • my best friend is a guy, I tell him everything. I once dated a guy that had problems with that and wanted to to pick between my best friend and him and of course, I picked my friend

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    • thats cute :)

    • Thats what I would most likely decide too if my girlfriend made me choose. I would choose my female BFF cause she's been with me to hell and back, so to speak and we made each other a life-long friendship promise while crying and smiling at the same time. =)...so yeah my girlfriend would lose.

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