Why don't people actually look for the right person?

why even date if you're not with someone you really want to be with? how do people just go around from relationship to relationship like its nothing? I don't get how people can just go around and want to touch and kiss and whatever else they do, like 3 different people over the course of a few months to a year. all these casual relationships and hook ups. I don't even understand it. and its very common in my age group, college aged kids. I only could ever kiss someone I legitimately had feelings for. I want to to have meaning, not just it be procedure, like, "ooh well I guess you're my next girlfriend. guess its time to kiss you now" that's just what so many relationships anymore seem like. just casual, won't last, temporary, waste of time relationships.

i feel like its frowned upon to actually look for love in college, real legitimate, lets make this last forever love. but that's what I look for, and when you make an attempt to offer it to a girl, that finally you feel couple be right, she treats you like you're a stupid idiot.

when will things get better?! lol

Updates:
oops I ment *could be right* there towards the end not couple haha
...and in this last update I meant *meant* not ment lol

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think along the same lines as you. While other people at my college may prefer random hookups, I would never choose that path. I'm more of a monogamous, serious relationship kind of girl. Every time I dated a guy and didn't feel like the relationship could be long term, I broke it off so I could search for the right guy. I've been with my current boyfriend for four and a half years, and I'm pretty sure I've found "the one".

    While legitimate relationships are no longer the norm in college, that doesn't mean they don't exist. I believe there is somebody for everybody, so there has to be some girl somewhere who is right for you.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I agree with you. When I was in college a few years ago, everyone seemed to be in worthless, "I know you will brake up anytime" flings. I was looking for "the one" and wanted to get married/start a family soon after college. I guess your more mature and know what you want at a young age-good for you!

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    • well thanks I guess, but all my friends tell me that my standards are way too high. I don't know if its because I'm looking for the right person and its OK, or whether I should believe them that it's a bad thing :/

  • It's fun and you want the experience. I wouldn't want to eat ice cream everyday but I will have it once in a while. If I want to date a guy because he's exciting and sexy then why not? Everything doesn't have to be so serious. Most young people aren't trying to be married. You have the rest of your life to be stable and married when you're older, I don't get why not enjoy your youth while you still have it. No offense but I think maybe you should loosen up and relax, you don't wanna be that 55 year old guy going through a crazy midlife crisis because you never got to do the fun things in your 20s. MOST relationships don't last. Even half of all marriages don't last forever either.

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    • well, I don't see the point to dating really if you aren't going to try and be serious with them, you know? I'm not saying I'm even looking to get married right away, but if I can find the right girl and just be with her, enjoy our youth together, and then get married when the time is right, then that'd be great! I don't understand why most people don't feel the same way. why let "the one" go off and potentially lose out of them, and they find someone else?

    • *lose out ON them* my bad

  • Ok. I get casual sex. Because sometimes I feel like I'll go insane without it. But I have a single friend with benefits and its an on and off thing for us when we are both single. I'm never with a person for the physical aspects because I can get that anywhere if I went looking. If I'm in a relationship with you its because I'm interested in a future with you. And I personally feel that you cannot claim to be girlfriend/boyfriend in under 3 months let alone first kiss. Before that is dating. After is an actual commitment to that other person.

    And things will get better when everyone has gotten a taste of the real world. Because in the real world you aren't grouped with thousands of other young men and women and realize that you actually have to look for what is important to you instead of assuming it will fall in your lap if you try out enough partners.

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  • I hear you! We've reduced "fullfilling relationships" to how quickly we can get the "goods" and get out. We forget that WORK and sacrifice are what make relatioships worthwhile.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Because they haven't truly matured or grown up. They don't know what they want necessarily and they can't stand being alone for whatever psychological reason (even though they might have lots of friends they feel they're "alone" if not in a relationship) and ya.. it's just kinda pathetic imo.

    And no, some do. There are definitely people looking for something serious in college and even before. But society tells so many also that college is for experimenting and other shallow bullsh*t and, like the sheep they are, they might give up something great because society has told them it's time they start acting in this specific way.

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  • i can get hook ups and stuff but I'm not sure I could ever do it.

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  • I couldn't agree with you more

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  • I hear you, I feel the same way, but at the same time the other stuff is still fun without the romance sometimes, at least for a lot of people.

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    • i think the most fun thing would be WITH the romance... I just don't get it.

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