Guys are you intimidated to talk to girls sometimes?

I guess I never thought about being nervousr talking to girls, I was at this one club and there was this cute guy that I wanted to dance with so I kept eye contact with him and smiled but he didn't approach me, later I found out that he told his friend he liked me. It's happened before too so I don't know what stops you from going up to a girl?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, put yourself in our position cary1391. Guys have all the same insecurities as girls. We fear rejection just as much. We feel the sting of criticism just as sharply.

    But we’re expected to make the first move. Guys have to put their fragile egos out on display in front of everyone, and wait for those egos to be either patted or stomped on.

    And guys are really confused about how they are supposed to behave around girls. Gen X and Y guys have been told that girls don’t like chest-thumping Alpha-male behaviour. Our mums and aunts and sisters have drummed into us that we should treat women as equals and neither put them on pedestals nor objectify them. And yet every time we go out, we see evidence of nice girls responding to exactly the sort of behavior we’ve been told to avoid.

    So we don’t know what a girl is looking for, we know we stand a pretty good chance of getting rejected, and we’re insecure about our own shortcomings. If sex wasn’t such a great pastime, I really think most guys would rather just chill and watch (insert sport here) or go round to a mate’s place and play (insert violent video game with zombies here)

    That’s what stops us going up to a girl. If you want to increase your “hit” rate, you need to make it ABSOLUTELY clear to him that you are interested. A smile and eye contact may not be enough. Why not take the risk and go up to him? Once he knows you’re interested he may step up. Or you might get rejected. But even if that happens, at least you’ll know what it feels like and what stops some guys going up to girls... Good luck! :D

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What Guys Said 4

  • If the guy's still really young -- say, under 18 -- he's probably insecure about himself and approaching girls seems like a daunting task in any situation.

    For a mature guy with some confidence, there can be a few intimidating factors:

    - she has the look of a mean, jaded, cynical stuck up b*tch, like she'd turn you down without a moment's hesitation

    - she's not just pretty, but very pretty or even beautiful, so she probably has several options to choose from, with a lot of guys already courting her or a boyfriend

    - she's with other female friends at the moment, they will all judge you and possibly negatively influence the girl's decision

    Sometimes these add up -- she looks bitchy, is freaking gorgeous AND is accompanied by her female friends who are just like her. Not very encouraging.

    In your little story though I think the problem is the guy lacked confidence.

    For me personally, those girls who like stuck up b*tches are the ones I never approach. I suppose some of them just look the part and are not really like that, but you never know. So it's safer and easier to just go for the nicer or even normal/serious ones.

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  • happens to me all the time. I kick myself in the ass each time...yet I continue to do it. In fact I was eyeing a woman out @ the store today and she knew it...what did I do...kept shopping. IDIOT lol

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    • Yes you are lol jk you should of tried smiling maybe she would of come up to you

    • Yeah I know :-( Just too damn shy that's the problem

  • PETRIFIED at times

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  • fear of rejection

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm glad you asked this question! Id like to know also!... is it me or them lol

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