Why don't guys talk to me?

Well apparently I'm "intimidating" according to my friends... I don't see how but it could be because I am naturally pretty and have a pretty chic sense of style that is sexy yet classy.. I wear heels all the time (I like being taller than people..its a power trip lol) and am usually by myself... all the guys talk bout me as I walk by.. ex: she's hot as f*** (I was in range so I heard everything) but they don't talk TO me...

needless to say I'm terminally single and not by choice...

so I wanna know why guys don't talk to me... I would flirt but guys Never talk to me unless their my friends... my best friend(girl) is not nearly as pretty as me and doesn't have a sense of style and yet all the guys like her.. it makes absolutely no sense to me..

I am pretty, funny, and know how to have fun; so why don't guys like me?

Updates:
No, I don't think my friend is a "ugly fashionless hobo"... I just think it doesn't make sense when someone is less attractive and gets a ton of guys without trying.

and I'm not tryin to be a bitch... I'm saying it because I honestly want to know..
When I put that I'm naturally pretty and have a pretty sense of style... that isn't my opinion... that's others... I personally still think I'm the chunky nerdy girl that I was 5 years ago.. but I'm not I grew up...
does no one read the updates when I am explaining that sounding like a bitch and dissing on my friend wasn't my intentions...
Thanks for all the answers.. I'll try out the advice! =)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There's a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem. If you haven't been laid really, really well recently, you tend to acquire the gaze and body language that betrays that to the opposite sex. There's no hiding it as it is a very primal tell and has been honed over millions of years of evolution. Russians jokingly call the look "the unmilked cow". :-)

    This can create a discord with your attractiveness - i.e. quality men would get the inexplicable feeling that you are scorching hot but something is odd or off with you or there's some inner sadness or insecurity or want. Unfortunately most Alpha men don't trouble themselves with pondering with what would happen if they invested some of their time and warmth in you - they simply move on to the next chick, that gives off a less complicated or conflicted reading. Beta men, are of course intimidated by your looks, if your self-assessment is accurate, and will never strike a real conversation with you, even if they sat in a 1st class seat next to you throughout a transatlantic flight. Of course beta men rarely take first class seats.

    The good news is, you are not entirely screwed. Here's what I suggest:

    1. Wear flats for a bit, even when going out. Your feet will thank you. Have your fave pairs of high heels professionally serviced and brought up to like-new condition, so you do not even have them in the house to be tempted with. This may be a hard and immediately physically felt concession to make, but fundamentally, if you are incapable of yielding a man a couple of inches, in any domain (incl. your height) once in a while, you'd make a poor mate, so no good man for you.

    2. An extension of the prior point, just as you flaunt your posture, your legs, your t**ties, flaunt your vulnerabilities. Most men are incapable of doing what I usually do, which is to just come up and start talking - they need some sort of excuse to help you with something.

    3. Invest time in extra-curricular activities that make the body do similar work as it does during sex. Yoga, strength training, some cardio. Swimming's good. It generates similar endorphins as good sex, removing some of the patina of the problem described in point (1).

    4. When men look at you and objectify you, don't just keep walking and looking straight and above their heads. Slow down, gently meet their gaze, acknowledge with a half-smile. Practice effortless, warm gaze in front of the mirror if you have to.

    5. You did not specify how much you m@sturb@te, including before going out. I suggest A/B comparison - some days go out having done it and some days without, and see which seem to work better for you.

    Hope these are helpful

    -- Sasha

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    • wow... that's a long answer..

      thanks for the help=)

What Guys Said 10

  • You describe yourself as being beautiful, sexy, a real hottie. I would love to hear how others describe you. My guess would be that stuck up bitch would be mentioned often. Get over yourself and stop looking down on everyone, and then maybe guys will talk to you.

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    • wow... that's how others describe me.. how I describe myself is probably the opposite.. I had a weight problem when I was younger and when I lost the weight I still felt sh*tty... so I thought since I didn't have natural looks that I had to have a good sense of style... but thanks for making me feel better bout myself.. you really just made my day...

    • It was not my intention to make you feel anyway. I read what you wrote and gave you my impressions. Perhaps being sarcastic with others does not endear you to them.

    • I'd have to say I agree with him

  • Pretty girls are the loneliest because guys either assume you have a boyfriend or you are snotty. Don't worry, though. You'll meet guys with enough balls to talk to you.

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    • Thanks.. you said the same thing that my friend said... it's just a little weird when your a third wheel all the time...

    • Maybe you should approach them.

    • you would think something as basic as that I would have thought about by now=) thanks...

  • I KNOW you're not dissing your friend, and you're not a bitch. Could they think they have a better chance of "getting" with your friend? And maybe some guys like the "tombiy"/emo look rather than classy, but that's their loss. Some of us like both, & you sound like someone I'd talk to in a heartbeat...

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  • I dunno, it sounds like you have an ego? Your best friend "is not as nearly as pretty as me and doesn't have a sense of style and yet all the guys like her". Maybe you should start behaving like your friend - the ugly fashionless hobo you describe her as.

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    • I asked because I want to know... I wasn't trying to dis my friend... she's my best friend and love her to death. but I'm not gonna lie if I tried to describe her...

    • lololololololololooololo what a bitch she is.

    • LMAO @ ugly fashionless hobo XD

  • Beauty isn't always a blessing as you found out. It's probably intimidation. You sound like you have the looks (that includes your dress sense) and the personality. I'm guessing guys like your friend because she seems more approachable and less sophisticated so they probably think they have a better chance with her.

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  • Body language. You wear heals, got style, looks, and confidence. Everything you feel inside about yourself is naturally projected outwardly, which is intimidating in your case. You need to make a conscious effort with your body language to not present yourself as the hot sh*t that you are. Smile at guys you think are cute etc...

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  • I want to gauge your personality so I'm gonna ask you a question. You say your attractive and I'm sure you are, but would you go out with a guy who was nice, funny, etc. but overweight?

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    • i don't really care bout looks... if someone is nice and treats me right then I really don't care... it all depends on the guy...

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    • I know what you mean. I am overweight, and I'm terrified of rejection.So I just flaunt my personality. That's what you should do. But if you're beautiful, then just odn't be a bitch and there should be no reason for people not talk to you.

    • thanks for the time and help=)

  • they probably think you are taken already

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  • They are too shy.

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  • If you're really that hot we assume you already have a boyfriend. Some guys also assume you're a spoiled bitch. Your statement about liking being taller because it's a power trip makes me think your personality and how you carry yourself is also the reason no guys will talk to you. If you want people to like you smile and make eye contact with them, that way they won't be afraid to start a conversation if they can think of an excuse to start one. Be friendly, laugh, smile, make eye contact, start conversations yourself and listen intently when the other person talks.

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    • the whole taller bit is just because all my guy friends are short and they think ill beat them up because I used to be really tom boyish... and I'm shy so I don't tend to talk to people I don't kno.. I just stick with my friends and once I get to know someone I'm really friendly and fun...

    • Well it's really a myth that if you're hot guys will just walk up and talk to you. Most guys won't and the ones that do it often are players that approach every woman because they know the more women they approach the more their chance at sex increases. I think most guys only approach women they get to know through friends or form work . If you're constantly with the same small circle of friends and staying at the same job you're not going to get many guys approaching you.

    • thanks for the advice... basically I should just do what my friends said from the beginning which is get out of my group of friends and approach guys in stead of waiting for them to make the first move...=)

What Girls Said 8

  • like you said you are intimidating .. (guys can be pus.sies )specially when it comes to asking a girl out .. they don't like to get rejected, and since you are gorgeous they feel like they don't have a chance with you,

    On the other hand your pretty but not so beautiful friend (no offence to her) is like an easy target because she isn't as intimidated by her (they think "oh, this girl isn't that pretty, if I ask her out she will say yes")

    you can start to make friends with guys too..

    anddont worry some day a guy will be brave enough to ask you out,

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  • Have you ever watched the movie he's just not that into you?lol you should. But you said your friend doesn't even really try right? whell that why, guys don't really like girls that seem high maintenence and like they want or are looking for a guy, they are more impressed and drawn to a girl that seems independent and like she could care less if a guy talks to her or not, I don't know why but ya, I know I always meet guys when I'm not looking for one and don't really meet as many when I am haha

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  • Sweetheart, you just seem a bit too full of yourself. Guy's like confidence, but too much of it is cockiness and that is just unattractive as hell (on both guys and girls). They probably think that you have an "I'm too good for you" mindset, which in turn, well, turns them off.

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  • well tall pretty girls are intimidating because of the answer that they will give(NO) its a powerful word that no one wants to hear, but don't let your self think that you will be single for ever and people do think that you are taken there are not a lot of pretty girls that are not single. for me I love a challenge and love tall girls and so do a lot more guys, I was shy and afraid of the word no but I found out that it was just a word that won't hurt me to ask and if I hear it then hey to bad right I can only say that I tried.

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  • it could possibly be the way you carry yourself. I myself have trouble getting a boyfriend, patially because I think I'm really picky, but also because I have been told by guys themselves that I am "intimidating." so it def could be because you walk with confidence unknowingly and that will make it difficult for a guy to approach you because he'll get nervous. as for your friend getting guys all the time even if she's not that pretty (I have a friend like that she's also really kind of well.. not the brightest light bulb in the room), she just so happens to give off a vibe that guys want to talk to her because she seems just a little more open-minded possibly. but have you really looked at the guys she's getting? they could be ugly and you're just so distracted byt why she's just getting guys and you're not.

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  • Your personality is great. Guys LOVE girls who talk badly about their best friend, backstabbing is a turn on

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    • Such a turn on

    • i wasn't talkin bad about my friend... she is one of those girls who has a different date each week and I just don't understand why guys don't talk to me let alone ask me out... I wasn't trying to backstab her...

    • real friends wouldn't talk sh*t behind friends backs

  • Next time you see a guy or guys check you out, give them a flirty smile.

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  • listen to your friends.

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