I seem to have a problem. I explain myself to a guy online, and they tell me that they are surprised I'm single, but when I meet a guy in real life, nothing happens.. They don't like me. Or we are only friends.. I don't think I'm ugly, but apparently my fat and my acne are all guys see. I am starting to get sick of this.. Does anyone else have a problem with this? Do I have to change?
Most Helpful Guy
Reading the comments and the other answers, your mentality is hard to fathom. That you shouldn't change yourself is one of the greatest fallacies parroted by simpletons. Change isn't a negative thing, people ought to strive to improve themselves. Alright, I might not have a particular problem with weight, but I'm deficient in various aspects of my life. I'm self critical, I know I need to improve in certain areas, I know that it is me at fault. I don't expect anyone to change for me. And I also know that if I don't toil, if I don't put the effort in, then I will FAIL in that particular area. And burying your head in the sand isn't an option, if you intend to reach your full potential. The two people finding each other attractive in a relationship is how it should be, it's natural. The quality of being attractive is a way of signalling that you have healthy genes and therefore will have a better chance of reproducing. The world doesn't owe you a thing. If you're deemed unattractive, for whatever reason, and you don't change yourself, there's a huge possibility you will be left on the shelf. And who should care? You fail to acknowledge our fundamental nature at your peril. Feeling sorry for yourself is utterly futile.
Physical attractiveness is important. I believe the parrots have gotten muddled for the following reason: It's important, but other factors are equally important, such as personality. I don't speak for all men, but being overweight is by far the most off-putting thing in a potential partner. I don't understand too, why you don't want to be healthier for yourself? Being overweight has become the norm in society, but that doesn't make it right.
Now this may sound harsh, but knowing it and reacting to it in a positive way allows you to become EMPOWERED. And I don't say these things as if I'm perfect either. Believe me, I'm hugely flawed in many important areas of life. Also, you shouldn't take these things to extremes either, as many do when they go on these dangerous diets, or opt for plastic surgery. Your original statement is sort of correct, it just needs a bunch of sub-conditions really. :) The first one, is to change for YOURSELF. The second, change what you can and should change, but do appreciate, that ultimately you should not change to the extent of losing sight of who you are. With regard to physical attractiveness, we each find different things attractive, there isn't a single conception of beauty. So try and adopt a balanced view?2
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