Wow I don’t even know where to start. This has been driving me crazy for about year. I worked with this guy and we were just friends. Until one day (we sort of kept in touch by texting here and there in a blue move) I had a question for him, we ended up going back and forth. Let me first say I am married and so is he. Our texting turned in flirting and sexting (pictures, thoughts, you name it). We don’t live near each other. So we never hooked up. About a month ago we saw each other for the first time. He was near where I lived for work, so I met up with him. Prior to that we had always talked about meeting up. In the few weeks before we seen each other, our conversations were daily, all the time. We had sex the day we saw each other, but ever since then he has been very distant and barley emails me anymore? I am in love with him, he has told me the same thing, but has only said once to me after we slept together, but I said it first. I can’t stop thinking about him and I check my email all the time. We even created our own email just for him and I. About a year ago I was caught talking to him by my husband. We are still together, but things aren’t the same. I want to stop thinking about this guy, but I can’t. I would love to be with him. Even thought I know it is so not possible. Any advice would help. But one thing I forgot to mention was the fact that I do have ugly stretch marks on my stomach and I think it may have turned him off totally once he saw them. I really thought he was into me but I don’t want to accept the fact that I think he used me. We now email each other only once a day. It is hard to be sneaky around our spouses, but I would think he somewhat cares about me. I start thinking this and then an email is in my box and I get all happy. What’s wrong with me? It has been about 4 days and I Haven't heard from him. no one is that busy that they can't even say hi.
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I want you to think of magnetism but the kind in astronomy - the planets as they orbit close then distant from each other. Sometimes when close they collide briefly, so strong the magnetism is for each other ... when there is no other force holding them back - like love/marriage.
Then their world go off into the distant orbit again with those forces too strong to resist until the next collision. It's not always about you, even him in these circumstances. The trouble with such relationships as these is that it is super risky to try & blast off from your orbit into theirs. If such a deal were to work, you'd both have to blast off into a new orbit (as you've done with email comms) that is all your own, risking that this is not more than an infatuation, a fantasy that serves "running away" from present life/loves that not so fulfilling anymore.
That said, allow me this curve ball. Many who think they are at a dead end, plan a blast off for their current spouse - 2 weeks in a no stress vacation (all-inclusive would be best). Many discover that although all the heavy baggage of the past may not be lost, certainly the magnetism of the past is rediscovered and the future is more promising.0