When dating a girl or guy, do you still look at the opposite sex?

realllll curious... this question mostly for guys

do you still look at the oposite sex and think they are "beautiful" sexy, ect..

and if so do some of you just not say anything so the other won't get upset...mad?

AND is it crazy for me to get upset if my boyfriend would think another girl is attractive?

even tho we are obv together and he only wants me


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Attractive people don't stop being attractive because you're in a relationship. To expect a guy not to notice a pretty girl is unrealistic.

    On the other hand, hitting on that pretty girl is something else entirely. But that's not what is happening here, right?

    He's not dating Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johanson or whomever, and not likely to, so who cares if he notices that they are attractive? He is choosing to be with YOU. That's what matters.

    I will also point out that in my experience, it is the jealous person who ends up cheating 90+% of the time. That's often why they are jealous: because they assume that their partner is just as likely as they are to cheat.

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What Guys Said 13

  • Yes dear, of COURSE we do! We're in a relationship, not DEAD! And we KNOW you check out guys still too.

    And OF COURSE the reason the SMART ones amongst us don't say anything is so our girls won't get upset! What the hell good could POSSIBLY come from me pointing out that some OTHER girl has fantastic breasts or a great butt? Oh that's right! No good at all!

    Beyond that, it just isn't good form to bring this up. It doesn't make our girlfriends feel good so why would we do that if we care about them and WANT them to feel good? So we notice the hot girl and keep our mouths shut. And when you bait us by asking, "do you think she's pretty?" we again have the good sense to say something very neutral like, "she's okay," preferably while squeezing your hand or feeling you up a little--just so you know we care. ;)

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  • Him saying, "You are the most beautiful girl in the world" is a lie. You aren't, I'm sorry. There are 3.5 billion girls out there.

    He should say, "You are the girl I choose to date because I like the person that you are. There is no other person in this world that is you."

    If you get mad that he acknowledges the truth in that there are other attractive girls in this world besides yourself, you have some self esteem issues that need to be worked out.

    If he constantly comments on other girls in front of you even after you have told him that you don't like that and/or it makes you feel bad, than he is an asshole who doesn't deserve a woman like yourself.

    Reality check please.

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    • thats true, I questioned my ex because he would stare for so long, and would deny it. he would say, "oh she's too big", "oh she's too skinny", "she got big boobs, I don't like that" especially when I knew he dated a big girl with big boobs. he made himself look like a complete ass for lying about it. I told him if he wouldve been more upfront, I wouldn't have made a big deal throughout the whole relationship. I drew the line when he would check out my family members while I was talking. I was done.

  • If another girl is pretty than it doesn't matter if your with someone or not... that girl is pretty... If I didn't want to be with someone than I would break up with her instantly. So just me being with a girl means I want to be with her.

    If the girl I am dating is jealous of me looking at other girls than that's a warning sign. I have dated girls who showed signs of jealously... I can't deal with how annoying it is and usually those relationships don't last long. A girl who you can tell anything too is a lot more fun. If my girlfriend ever said 'that guy is hot", I would reply with "Yeah, definitely and if I was gay I would totally hit that". Sometimes you have to just lighten up, I am way too confident in myself to ever be jealous of another guy. I find that girls who have confidence in themselves are more attractive than the ones that don't have confidence.

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    • i get that its not a confidence thing I get hit on a lot and he knows this I'm very confident in myself I guess its because for 3 years he never would say anything an now that we started talkin again he will kinda mention brief stuff nothing like huge and its like OK where did this come from... of course I don't like to think of my man looking at another woman in that way ya know

  • Imo...one can look, but imo:

    1) don't stare (especially with your SO)

    2) keep your comments to yourself out of respect to your SO

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  • Yes, if I see a beautiful girl I will think she is beautiful for the same reason that I would think the sky is blue if I looked at it and it was blue. That being said, If I were in a serious relationship I would try to avoid staring at girls (both attractive and unattractive), mostly because I'd assume that my significant other would appreciate me not staring, or feel bad if she knew I was staring.

    And yes, frankly, I think it would be crazy for you to think that.

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  • I've noticed this is one of the few areas where guys are really stupid. They have no subtlety; they'll turn their heads 180 degrees right in front of their girlfriend to catch a glance.

    Like Jerry Seinfeld says, "looking at a woman too long is like staring into the sun".

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  • you sound like the typical egocentric possesive girlfriend. you expect your boyfriend's entire life to revolve around your every whim.

    newsflash honey: the same things that attracted him to you are on other girls. you can still expect his loyalty respect etc. but don't expect him not to look when a girl in a bikini walks by.

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  • we know girls check out guys every day their alive so ya we do and we don't feel bad about it, we arnt hiding it we just don't see why we need to tell our patner

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  • obviously...every one checks out the opposite gender,whether or not in a relationship

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  • Yup. I look. I just don't look at them the same way. :)

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  • yea and my wife likes me to have sex with other women as well

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  • yes people do still do that. . .its biology. . .of course guys will still be looking at girls. If we didn't we wouldn't be here. Its difficult coss we do still appreciate good looking girls, but it doesn't mean that we want a relationship with them.

    The best would be for your boyfriend to comment about the girl openly to you (I do that usually) and get a conversation going. Or if you see the other girl first and noe that he will notice her then you make the first comment about her and see how he reacts. Its better to be open about these things coss it happens many times and always will happen.

    Crazy is prob a strong word. Its understandable that your upset, but in a healthy relationship you will noe that he only wants to be with you and that he's just doing what every guy is 'programmed' to do.

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  • I think other women are beautiful but I would never say it in front of the one I really like out of respect. If your boyfriend openly talks about how attractive other women are in front of you that is being rude and you have every right to be mad.

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    • well he doesn't but, I guess he's always going to think it regardless right? he tells me I'm the most beautiful girl and that I shouldn't get upset if someones okay , or cute because I look better.. and he never calls anyone beautiful it would only be like cute, attractive and that's on tv... should I be mad about that?

    • I don't think you should be mad about that. If it bothers you tell him you don't want to hear him talk about any other women since you're the best :)

What Girls Said 6

  • i agree with the guys on this...yea it's OK to notice if someone is good looking but don't make it so obvious that you are checking out someone else it's rude...i don 't care if my boyfriend notices people who are good looking cause I knw he's mine and I know I'm very attractive and I know he respects me and is very loyal and that what matters...i notice good looking guys I'm not blind but for me they are just another guy in this world , for me it's what kind of a guy someone is that matters...looking is OK as long as it doesn't go beyond that...I know being a bit jealous can show your partner tht you care but don't go overboard and bash other girls and give him attitude if he looks at a girl...i believe that if he's staring down at the person, or turning around 180 to check someone out that's rude and you can tell him that you don't like when he does it, if he doesn't stop then he doesn't care and he's an a$$hole...but yes you can lighten things up when you catch him looking at a girl and be like " yea if I was a guy I'd hit that" and laugh , shwing that you know he was looking at the girl and to let him know you dnt care and you think it's funny ...best of luck chic

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  • I have been in a relationship for 3 years and I have to say that I don't really noitice other guys like I use to when I was single. I might see a hot guy but not really think much of it because I am very sexual attactive to my guy.

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  • Of course I look; I can appreciate beauty under any circumstance. Will I do something about it? Perhaps. Is it ridiculous for you to get upset with your boyfriend? Yes.

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  • if I see someone who is good looking , I will obviously look at them but not in a sexual manner .

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  • Course I do! and so does he. mostly we'll tell each other, like 'check out that guy/chick over there.'

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    • calling bs on this. no guy would ever say to his girlfriend: "hey look at that hot girl over there!"

    • I'm not saying this is an everyday occurrence, but in my relationship, it's what happens.

      I'm sorry you think I'm a liar.

  • yeah I still notice sexy guys. I'm in a relationship, not blind. I mean, are you really acting like you don't find other guys attractive even tho you have a boyfriend? as long as neither one of you is disrespecting the relationship by flirting, making comments, etc. it shouldn't be a problem. just don't tell me "that girl is sexy" or whatever and I'm cool. I don't wanna hear your opinions about the girls looks but if you think it then that's no problem

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