I am having a really hard time asking my mom to let me start shaving. I wonder if this bothers others or makes them think I'm ugly. I do have a boyfriend but I don't know if anyone else could ever like me. I feel embarrassed and ugly all the time. How should I ask her, when, what should I say? I like winter because I can wear pants and long sleeved shirts to cover this up, but in gym we wear shorts! Help! I am so confused and desperate and sad.
Most Helpful Guy
If you can cover it up easily, then don't worry too much about it.
But, if you're going to be showing off some leg or arms, then shave. And if you've got a ton of facial hair, shave that or lighten it. I know of a few women with face stubble (one or two with full grown mustaches, and they don't bother to get rid of it. Frankly, it's a tad bit gross.)
Facial hair is definitely out. It's a turn off for me personally.
About leg and arm hair...just talk to your mom. If she won't let you shave (I don't know why she wouldn't) And if it's that important, save up for a shaver, then buy one yourself. At this age, that sort of thing is more of a privacy kind of thing, as well as being expected. It doesn't hurt you (ok, tweezing the eyebrows is not fun, but I digress) so go ahead.
It might help if you give a logical reason to it (For example, most people claim that male swimmers can't have much body hair because it slows them down.)
As for what guys are attracted to, it's different. Some guys won't mind. Some will freak out at the slightest bit of leg stubble, and some love the hairy legs.
I would say that for the most part, most guys are fairly understanding about it if you're a smidge hairy (especially if super busy, etc), but I think most US born men still prefer a woman to not be able to light a match with their stubble.
Most 14 year old females (I would think) wouldn't need to ask their mothers if they're allowed to have a bra. It's just kind of a necessity. Same with the razor issue. Same with deodorant.
Bring it up, hopefully your folks would be mature enough to understand, and would not hesitate to help you out.
Good luck to you. I know this comes from a male perspective, but I hope this still gives you some information you can use.3