Do good guys ever end up with beautiful women?

or should I just lower my standards right now? I just find myself attracted to the gorgeous girls, the kind that are all innocent and beautiful looking and have stellar personalities, but yet I find myself not even on their radar, or like by some miracle a girl will tell me I'm a great guy and to never change. but if I'm not getting the girl now, aren't I doing something wrong? like I don't do drugs or anything and I'm totally a stereotypical good guy. and nice to everyone and I feel that most people respect me. but my luck with girls is non-existent.

can a guy like me find a beautiful girl? I'm not at all bad looking. but I wouldn't say I'm like a flawlessly attractive, defined jaw/body model-looking guy either no homo.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Women are hard wired to find a guy who makes them feel comfortable. Many things fit the criteria.

    Often we see it as gold digging, but in reality they are just doing what is inertly breed into their DNA. They want to be with a man who can be a good provider, who has confidence, makes them feel safe, comfortable and secure about themselves. And then they want a guy who can make them laugh and a guy they can trust.

    Many woman wonder why guys are not interested in them because they have a few extra pounds. Are you willing to consider a nice young lady who struggles with her weight? Or is that considered lowering your standards? My point is what is important to men is looks, what is important to women is not him being a nice guy (it is expected), they have standards too.

    Being a nice guy is what they expect of any guy they date, it is not enough as a stand alone thing. Find a girl who is as much into you as you are into her.. and if that means lowering your standards, maybe your standards are too high.

    Good Luck.


    • thanks for the answer. I'm not trying to say just because I'm nice I should be able to be with a beautiful woman. I have a ton to offer as well, and good looking, it's just a matter of a girl making the effort to get to know me. It seems as though a lot of people my age are clueless as to what makes a quality relationship anyway :/

    • I think my 30 year old son is the same way. Although he might have it worse, in that his looks are average at best, and he is short and has glasses and red hair; all the things that usually are not the typical "good looks". But he has tons of personality and is dying for ONE GIRL to be interested. His case, he tries way too hard. I am not suggesting that you do, but he does, and he is only interested in the HOTTEST girl. I may have to wait 10 more years to be a grandpa, (my daughter is 14)

What Girls Said 11

  • You'll hopefully end up with a good girl equal in your looks.

    God you're so shallow.

    To all these people saying yes have none of you realize he is saying that since he's a good person he deserves beauty? Has no one noticed all dating advice for men is geared to getting the hottest girl and women to not be picky about looks and settle for character, Why It's OK To Settle For Mr. Good Enough (book)?

    Look at what you want and what you can offer do they match?

    Expecting *anything* more than what you have to offer is shallow and useless.

    Also if you handsome man? If you're not you're not entitled to a beautiful woman.

    You can want one, pursue one, and get one.

    But you're not entitled to anything in this world.

    Girls shouldn't date you because you're a good guy they should date you because they are physically & sexually attracted to you and want to be with you.

    Good is what's required of being a decent human being.

    Sorry but filling that out doesn't entitle you to a beautiful girlfriend.

    • COMPLETELY agree. its pure hypocrisy.

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    • well I never once said I expected a beautiful girl to fall into my lap. lol

      i just feel that I'm quality boyfriend material, as opposed to casual relationship material, which I have no understanding of why you'd even want to pursue a casual relationship. but yeah. I feel that I'm definitely boyfriend material. I would say I have a cuteness more so than sexiness, and like if I turn that idea over on girls, I'd rather have a girl with a cute/beautiful vibe than a raw sexual vibe.

    • @QA

      Okay good.

      However maybe that's the problem not every girl goes into dating her boyfriend as the one.

      fwb is a sexual relationship not a casual.

      Boyfriend/girlfriend is a casual one it may be committed or exclusive but it's not so serious.

      Maybe you need to put out a fun vibe instead of a looking for long term vibe that puts pressure on.

  • As far as I can tell there are quite a few men on this site(and men I know personally) that have problems with standards. All the guys on this site with this problem(who usually don't let you know who they are or see pictures) claim to be attractive, smart, good jobs, great personality blah blah blah... Want to know how to get specifically beautiful and great personality girls. Well I say if you're boasting about how great you are let us see if you deserve a beautiful lady like you all seem to believe.

    No one deserves anything other that what they work hard for. If you want the girl of your dream bring yourself up to her level.

    I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you and it's normal to fancy people who are more attractive than you are.

    What I am saying is what's with all these chicken liver guys who have no balls when it come to women?

    You want a girl, start asking them out

    • i completeely agree! couldn't of said it better myself

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    • I'm one of those guys that isn't really nice, and actually has the balls to do approaches (to women I find that are equally as attractive as I am) and find myself crashing and burning.

      They may not seem like they have "balls" to you, but it's probably only because they realize that beautiful girls are also more likely to reject, be a bit snobbish, and a little too selective on the physical appearances of their potential mate (not that men aren't just as guilty).

      Women are stil cruel though.

    • Pell I think you're misstaken, attractive women are scared sh*tless that they aren't attractive or won't be loved. It's why "the game" worked so well with the negs- a put down disguised as a compliment.

      Good for you that you put yourself out there, you know that you're worth something and you don't sit around whining. Go for a chick who looks down at her drink a lot, she's either insecure or having a bad time- fix her night for her- try I got dragged here how about you if the club sucks

  • Absolutely good men find good gorgeous women! The only thing that ever turned me off to a good guy was his sense of desperation. He was good looking, muscular, smart and so sweet. I just couldn't deal with how desperate he seemed to find the "good girl." I'm not saying you're like this but I wanted to be as helpful as possible. You seem like a good guy ;)

    • is there a difference between "desperation" and simply being in love with a girl already before a girl feels anything for you?

    • I wouldn't call it desperation, but I don't think I would a) believe it and b) be comfortable with that. If you are experience these feelings be careful with how open you are with them. Don't put all your eggs in one basket!

  • sure.this girl from my school-she's always been considered perfect-every guy I've spoken to says she's beautiful,and she's smart too,and her boyfriend is just...the nicest guy ever-he's not some ''hunk'' with perfect abs,he's shorter than her,and he doesn't dress like some model either,but she adores him,and they're adorable together.try showing that you're interested,tease a little,but not too much-otis will lead you to ze ladies link

  • And how are you lowering your standards if the girl is in the same league as you?

    • to address both of your answers, I never said I was entitled to a beautiful woman. I'll actually pursue a girl that I feel will give me a chance, its just a huge challenge in finding the right girl like that... let me ask you this, why do good girls "settle" for bad boys? I mean they may have their certain appeal, but if you use an ounce of brain power, girls would realize they deserve better than an alcoholic/druggie/abusive guy whichever he may be. he is who he is and a good man is a good man.

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    • I feel that if a woman could simply see me for me, they'd find ME extremely attractive too

      then maybe you should start seeing women for their character and find them attractive?

      You want others to negate looks but you won't?

    • ughh did I not say that I was an already good looking guy? >.<

      with girls its a superficial personality attraction... strictly based on their behavior. why do uglier guys than me, that have nothing going for them, get girls? because they act in a certain way, a certain way that manipulates a woman. I dislike games for that reason, and have been manipulated myself and you know what? it gets you hurt. honesty... best policy! more people should try it.

  • yesssssssss but it takes time! I consider my sister a beautiful woman and she's been through all the ****s even if they were good looking they were never worthy of her and treated her like sh*t and she did try to run away numerous times but they weren't having it. and now she's with this guy who isn't particularly good looking or ugly, but his personality makes him that much more attractive I just think they are perfect, she's 30 now by the way.

    • yeah but 30 is tooooo far away! lol

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    • ugh but I hope to find the right person when I'm still young!

    • you will, maybe you should go to different places to the ones you usually go to meet girls, you'll sometimes notice the difference in their personalities etc

  • What if we reversed this logic and I said to you,(hypothetically)

    I'm an average looking girl, but don't I deserve a REALLY HOT guy because I'm a really good person and am nice?

    • so just because I'm not muscular I'm average? :/

    • dude, I don't know how hot you are,

      thats not the point at all.

      you imply if a girl got to know you and looked past superficial qualities she d find you extremely attractive. that this is what should happen and what you deserve,

      meanwhile you yourself don't see any reason why you should look past the same superficial qualities you expect her to look past,oh no, you want a stunning beauty, and think you d be "lowering your expectations" if you got anything else.

      hypocrite much?

    • wow. ummm looks aren't the only thing that matters! I never said that, of course I like a girls personality too, why are people so easily misinterpretting my question?!?!

      look. yes I want a beautiful woman, but I also want a girl that has a heart of gold and a wonderful personality. and no I am not bad looking. I'm a good looking guy. and I have a great heart and a good personality as well. I'm not saying a girl is lowering her standards. girls could have healthier standards though!

  • Yes. Your a good guy so obviously you good chances are yes you will be with a beautiful woman. Why ask? this is you who should be answering this =P you know the answer. You know whose beautiful and you will end up finding the girl of your desire.

    • but do women prefer good guys in the end, because now its all about who's baddest of the bad and coolest of the cool. :/ don't get me wrong I'm a cool guy, but I'm not like the cool guy on campus. lol

    • TRUE ! same I see it that way too these days and it's not just girls but guys as well. No I will definitely won't disagree if your a cool guy; if your cool then be it.

  • off course you can, we just like to play around with the bad ones for a while and get our heart broken a few times, then we live and learn and start to look at the good guys in a different light. Or if you find someone that is lucky and have good selfestem from the start she will diss the bad ones and go for you straight away. Just start to think differently, if you think you are unlucky you will be, if you think you are lucky you will be

    • hmmm... interesting thought. well I think I'm lucky how about that? lol

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    • sucks because this how I was raised, and I believe I was brought up right in comparison to most people. sub-par parenting is common. seems like everyone I know that has come from broken or troubled homes, seems to be a real hit with the opposite gender .

    • thats not how I meant, you just gotta find the girls who don't need to "fix" or change guys and truly believe that love shouldn't be loads of hassel, they are out there off course

  • yea it is possible...i'm beautiful and my boyfriend is a great guy

  • honestly girls have to get to the point where they can really appreciate what a good guy brings to the table and the only way they can learn that is to date at least one bad one and even then some will try a few before they realize they can't change or fix them that if they want a good guy they need to go get one.


What Guys Said 11

  • well you know what ? I'm always on their (the beautiful women) radar. Do you know how annoying is ? when all of them expect me to do something and I don't know what to do, however is I approach them in a formal way, its not attractive to them. For example today in the bus a young girl was giving me the eyes at the station stop and after I was getting ready get off, she touched my back while passing by. They flirt with me everywhere, touch me, get on my shoes, and all by mistake! lol

    You should be with me because I attract them but I lack friends. I also have high standards, but that only limits my options, we should be more tolerant.

  • Glad you said good and not nice. There's hope for you if this is the case. If you were just a nice guy, you'd be with the many men who live lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. These nice guys have been told that if they stay docile and don't stray too far from what their emasculated role models did, they will be fine and things will go okay for them. However, if you are on a life and course of adventure, have a battle to fight, and desire to rescue the beauty, then you have quite a lot to offer a woman. Don't be afraid to ask a beautiful woman out. Even if she says no, she is appreciates you asking. Continue to be the good guy, not the one who backs down from fighting for what is right. Be the guy who does not let a woman go unprotected or unappreciated.

  • Heh guys like you are the worst, your post screams:

    1) You falsely believe you are a good guy just because you constantly acquiesce to women.

    2)This belief that you are a good guy (you're not) means that you deserve a beautiful woman

    These attitudes reveal your belief of self entitlement and that you view these women as mere trophies, but also that you lack self-respect because you considered lowering your standards. You blame everything on luck and fate because it's the easy way out of dealing with your own cowardice. Disgusting.

    • If you want something then try and take it, don't wait for it to be handed to you. Love only yourself and live only for yourself, following your own will is the only way to be happy in this world.

  • yes when they are 30 and jaded, fow now NO. Let's be honest these women have higher standards because their beauty lets them do it, so thry will want guys to be really funny, leader like, sporty, esponteneous and have a higher social status and I won't lie about physical attractiveness either and so on. Just being nice won't get you there unforunately.

    • 30s too old. too far away!

  • If you stay as you are, you'll get the girls that have had their fun and think of you only as "settling for less because he can be a better husband/father only".

    If you change your behavior, well...

    • yeah if I change my BEHAVIOR... how superficial is that?!

      ya know if a girl just spent some time with me, and got to know me, they'd soon find out that they aren't settling at all. I see them as settling for bad boys, because they don't truly appreciate them for who they are, not to mention the guys don't treat them as well or even very well at all. and if they're into bad things on top of it, I fail to see how he make a girl "feel safe".

  • Real good guys don't care about the outside because they know that everything that matters is on the inside. ;)

    • the whole point of being 'more than friends' is ultimately based on sexual intimacy. looks are a factor and you're kidding yourself if you don't agree. granted what's inside matters a LOT! but it's not everything, just as looks aren't everything... not every beautiful woman is an attractive woman.

  • Of course, just build up your confidence and get more sexual experience and then you won't be asking questions like this anymore.

    • I'm waiting for marriage for sex. I could only actually have sex with a woman I love.

  • Reason why so-called "good guys" don't get beautiful women is usually because they are boring, so it is not actually about being good or bad but being funny, spontaneous, outgoing, courageous etc.

    • i feel like a lot of times its a superficial fun though. like because good guys aren't much of party-ers, they're automatically boring, or theyre open about how they feel, theyre boring and clingy. that can't be further from the truth. this good guy loves having a good time too, but life isn't a giant party to me. I can be all that, if a girl would just let me and see and appreciate me for me.

    • if you ain't got looks, sense of humour.

  • Nice guys finish last always

  • Of course they do. Just be fun and not a downer.

    • right. see my reply to Machineman as well...

    • Not all beautiful women are party animals or stuck on themselves.

    • thats good to know. I just want to be able to find the right girl that isn't that way. because not just any beautiful woman means she's the right woman. there are so many hot girls out there that for instance I would never want to be with.

  • No girls aren't that smart and they don't know what they want. They wouldn't even know an attractive guy if he walked through the door in front of them.