Do people see me as high maintenance?

Most of the time I wear make up and I enjoy clothes and accessories. I take pride in my appearance and realize that whether you like it or not, people are going to judge you based on how you look.

Recently, I was talking to a guy that I've always been interested in but we are both very shy. I mentioned that I like country music and would love to move down south or would be perfectly content living on a farm. (It came up in conversation) He was shocked. He said he assumed I would love the city.

When making plans to go to an amusement park with new friends I mentioned I was excited. They all asked why and said there's nothing for me to do there. I LOVE roller coasters and rides, but they said they had all assumed that I'd hate them. They said I just don't look like I like them.

I'm not going to start dressing bad just because of other people, but I'm really not high maintenance AT ALL! Do they think I am because of my looks? How do I make people see me as not high maintenance.

OKAY. I'm not talking about high maintenance based on personality. I'm saying do people write me off based on solely my looks thinking I care too much about them.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Off topic-

    Farms aren't as easy as you make them out to be. I highly doubt, once you got down there, you'd want to live on a farm. To start you'd give up that fancily dressed, make up and accessorized life style, which it really doesn't seem like you'd want to do. I know it's a stupid thing to point out but growing up on a farm then going to college in the Northeast has shown me just how different things are. And a lot of people say they'd like to live in the south, on a farm, a simple life style. It's anything but simple, I promise you. Just a pet peeve when people think that because they listen to country, drive a truck and know what a horse is they can handle living on a proper farm.

    On topic-

    A lot of the time if you dress up and look very professional and proper men assume you're high maintenance because you look like the upscale New York women. They assume your life style is expensive and that you expect your boyfriend to keep up with it, but more than that, to help fund it. You also might have a "high and mighty" air about you. If you look, walk and talk like you're proper and stand up and professional and that kind of stuff then you'll probably give off the vibe that you're "better than them". Or "out of their league" in a money, status, maintenance kind of way.

    • Off topic was completely unnecessary. Farms are a lot of work. Obviously. Unnecessary.

    • I like that. "Farms a lot of work" Pause "Obviously". I know, and I'm sorry but it's just something that bugs me. So many people think it's cool and fun and it's something that makes you really... I don't know, all kinds of fun things. Most people don't get it's more work than fun. And it bugs me. So I'm sorry about the rant.

What Guys Said 4

  • See you as high maintenance? No one can see you at all. Not only are you on a site where everyone has a phony screen name, as if this weren't obfuscating enough, you've gone the extra step of asking your questions anonymously.

    See ya!, then again, probably not.

  • if your putting more into yourself than you are me. you're high maintenance. it comes off as selfish and conceided to not show you care about others especially the guy you're into. from your explanation you don't sound high maint. there's a stereotype that goes along with women who like to dress well most of the time. its gonna happen the best thing to do is just ignore it and have fun :)

  • Youre right -- people will always assume things -- we all do it.

    However, DOING all those things that people think you don't do or don't like quickly erases that stigma...

    I deal with a similar thing -- I'm usually dressed up and the perception is that I'm "soft", don't like to get my hands one of the guys but got used to dressing up or "looking nice" because of comfortable in your own skin.

    • I'm not changing. I just think people write me off because of my looks. But whatever.

    • Interesting...i don't think anywhere in my response did I suggest that you change.

      All the best to you! :)

    • I wasn't attacking you. I was just saying, I'm not changing.

  • High maintenance means the man has to constantly adjust his behavior in order to meet your approval. If you're doing all the work on yourself, you aren't high maintenance.


What Girls Said 2

  • Do you know what it means to be high maintenance? It has nothing to do with how you look, it's how you act. Do you always have to be right? Do you expect to get your way all the time? Do you want guys to shower you with gifts while you give nothing in return? If not, than you're not high maintenance, and you wouldn't appear to be either.

    It doesn't seem like these people are thinking you're high maintenance... It sounds to me like they just think you're a "girly girl" who doesn't like to get dirty so to speak. Which a lot people would assume that based on your looks. It's not a big deal and I wouldn't worry about it. In fact if I were you, I'd enjoy the joyful shock that your friends experience when they find out that you're actually way cooler than that!

    • This chick gets it.

    • In reference to your update, some people will. But there's nothing you can really do about that unless you want to change your appearance. People will always have their opinions on your appearance no matter what you look like. It's within them, not within you.

  • I must say, "yay for dressing well!" It's ridiculous the number of people who put on sweats and think they're ready to go out in public. What happened to wearing proper clothes?

    If you bother to dress well people are going to think you're high maintenance. Because the only reason you aren't dressed as bad as them is OBVIOUSLY because you're a ditz who just cares waaaay too much about silly things, right? If you cared a normal, healthy amount then you would totally think lounge clothes are okay for shopping in.

    How to make them think you aren't high maintenance? Well, you'd have to not dress as well. If you really don't do a lot to look that good then don't stop. Just let them be jealous that you can look great with little effort.

    • I agree. I'm a dancer and dance teacher so a lot of the time I'm in sweats coming from work/rehearsal. So then even more than ever, when I go out I try looking good. I do it for myself because I'm sweaty and in baggy clothes all day. It makes me laugh sometimes because after work I'll go out real quick to pick something up and I'm in sweats and I just don't like it.