so I'll get right to the question!
so there's this girl that I hung out with all last summer. we we're great friends, but always had this strong sexual tension between us.
So any we went to different schools, but shed always get on me about visiting her. so (a couple months ago) I finally made the trek to see her. everything was great. She was still foxy as ever etc.
so she had me visit her again last weekend. buuut I swear she gained like 15 pounds! I'm not really not attracted to her anymore.
does this me shallow? anyone else have this happen to them?
Girl gained weight. I don't really find her attractive anymore. am I shallow?
What Girls Said 10
Yea it does make you kind of shallow, but I i think that a lot of people are and you really can't control attraction.
If you can't get over her weight just tell her you think you should just be friends because the long distance thing is too much trouble or something.
Do not tell her she is fat and unattractive or that she should loose weight.
If someone tells me to loose weight I get fatter in protest (seriously)2
It is shallow. So don't lead her on if you can't follow through. If you really do enjoy her personality then stay friends with her, but if you aren't attracted to her, then you aren't attracted to her, end of story. But again, make sure you're not making her think that you guys could have something in the future because while looks are part of the relationship equation, personality means much more, and if her just gaining a few pounds is all it takes for you to find her unattractive, that its not meant to be. Hope this helped you out a bit..1
It's pretty shallow, but if you're not attracted to her anymore, then you're not attracted to her. Winter is very hard on all college students because you are always busy and there isn't always time to get enough exercise and eat healthy. If it's only 15lbs then I'm sure she will slim down over the summer. But don't tell her that it's because of her weight gain that you're not attracted to her anymore, because things like that are really detrimental to a girls self-esteem. Also, like other girls were saying, if you really like her and she has a great personality maybe suggest you guys go for a walk or play basketball or something instead of staying in. That way you will help her get some exercise and you guys will still get to hang out.1
Okay if she has a great personality then maybe give her a chance and if you hang out you can always do something active.2
Yeah your shallow. She only gained 15 pounds, she can loose weight. This makes me feel like you think your perfect and that other people have to be perfect too. But if you aren't attracted to her, you just aren't. If she doesn't want to loose the extra pounds, then you can't change how you feel about her. That's pretty shallow, really, but if your unattracted to her then... Break up time.1
It may be a little shallow, but you cannot force attraction. If she were in a relationship with you it would be different. You could do stuff to make the attraction come back such as suggesting you exercise together or eat healthier together.0
I'm surprised that 15 pounds is that big of a deal to you. Maybe you're underestimating her weight gain and it's more like 30-40, or she was already borderline fat to begin with. I just can't see how a 15 lb. weight gain can take a gorgeous sexy girl and make her unattractive.
IDK it's your right to be attracted to who you want. I would just feel sorry for anyone you get pregnant0
No because she looks unhealthy right, and fat is gross. Tell her that it is not healthy to be this way. Have you ever liked her personality.0
Shallow no, lustful, yes. It means you didn't really like the girl for who she was in the first place. You only fancied her appearance.1
Um, 15 lbs? That's your idea of a huge weight gain? That's extremely critical of you.2
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