Am I too ugly to ever get a girlfriend?

I know it's a question that has been asked 1000 times before. I know that most of the people who do it are just trying to get attention and/or fishing for compliments. But I'm in a serious rut that I can't get myself out of. As a disclaimer, this is very embarrassing for me for multiple reasons.

I'm an 18-year-old guy and I've never had a girlfriend. I know that I'm still very young and I have "plenty of time to find someone," but I don't know if I can ever get one. I have never even came close to having a girlfriend, nor have I participated in any activities that having a companion of that magnitude would guarantee.

I'm in 12th grade and I still get made fun of all the time for being ugly. Just the other day, I was called "butt fugly" by a girl I don't even know. People I sit with in lunch often look over at me and have to point out how grotesquely hideous I am... without any provocation I might add!

I have been told dozens of times in my life that I'm just too unsightly to ever have what I must say I want most. I know that sounds creepy, but I'm so unbearably lonely that I've tried to kill myself once before. Don't worry, I've gotten over my suicidal ideation problems. I will never kill myself, but I do find myself welcoming death with open arms quite frequently.

I'm not a stupid man, my IQ is in the genius category, so it wouldn't be me making a fool out of myself that would hinder my progression into obtaining a partner. Plus, there are so many ugly people out there with smarts that have landed them boys or girls. Am I really so ugly that I don't qualify for that echelon?

Family members lie to me all the time. They say claptrap like "you just look young for your age!" or "I have no idea what they're talking about. You're cute!" I know they're lying to me. I know I'm ugly and nothing will change my mind. I just want to know if I'm too ugly to ever get a girlfriend... So maybe I can at least attempt to get used to that fact before it becomes an even more crushing blow later on in life. If that is the case, I would rather start getting used to it now rather than later is what I mean.

I have ugly blond hair. No chin. A bulbous nose. No eyebrows. Ugly green eyes. Gigantic, oddly oriented ears. Unbelievably gargantuan lips. A double-chin. I'm only 5'7". I'm pale. I have acne. No jawline. Tremendously large forehead. And freckles...

I type this comment with tears in my eyes. I just want to die so badly anymore because of this problem. I can't ever kill myself, but I want to die more than anything else in the world... there is only one thing I want more than that actually...

The link is in the comments.

Updates:
Nevermind. I can't show people... I don't have the courage.
I haven't gotten up the courage 100% yet, but I'm just going to do it on the spur of the moment. I'll probably remove it very soon.



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put an h--t--t--p--:--/--/ (minus the dashes) in front of the s932. I couldn't put a link in the question it turns out, so I had to butcher it a bit.
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Put an h--ttp:// (minus the dashes, of course) in front of the s932.
God damn it. I need help. I've spent the last 2 hours just sitting in my room sobbing and wallowing in my misery.


I'm not going to commit suicide, but I don't think I can go on anymore.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Any girl that says you're "butt fugly" is not worthy of your time and is probably one of those girls who is gonna end up sweeping up elephant poop in a zoo! DO NOT ever let a girl get to you OK everyone is unique in there own way trust me I have a crooked nose(Due to not enough cartilage on one side) and I used to be insecure about it, thought I was super ugly cause I was the only one of my race at my school, and I admit I dressed as a nerd(Baggy Jeans, striped shirts) and people would always point it out and comment on it saying "You should get surgery for it", but when I entered High school I stopped caring, took a more active role in what I wear(Got skinny jeans, solid color polos, plaid shirts) and you know what a few days ago someone who I've know for a while said I had a crooked nose and I replied "I don't give a f**k. You didn't notice all this time that you've known me?" and you know what he said? He said "Yeah I mean I remember you did, but when we entered High School you actually started looking less nerdy and had a lot more confidence so I guess that shrouded the bad features about yourself."

    What's the point in my story? Just cause one person says you're ugly or fugly or whatever jerkish thing to doesn't mean another person isn't attracted to you. Another story in terms of girls is that one girl said I was too nerdy, another told me to F off, and one just ignored me(and I'm just a Sophomore in High School!) and you know what yea it hurt and I did feel like crying and being depressed, but I realized I can't keep looking at what girls say and do to me I have to KEEP MOVING FORWARD because there will be other girls who like me cause I'm the only kind of me ethnicity or cause of my nose or cause of my nerdiness and sure enough I think I may be right cause now I am talking to a girl I am attracted to and it's been 2 months and she hasn't told me to f off, that I'm too nerdy, or that I have a crooked nose. Why? "'Because I don't mention or think about it I just think about my good features and what I can do to make those things look more attractive and that's what you need to do just think about your good features and enhance them!

    One last thing. DO NOT KILL YOURSELF! That won't get you anywhere except make people that care about you cry, people who were mean to you feel terrible and possibly get bullied because of it, and it will make girls who do like you depressed and sad(Yes they are out there you just aren't looking hard enough for them). You're only 18 you have A LOT to like for and once you are out of High School then you'll realize that High School is the toughest time of your life(IMO) and that College People won't be so cruel or harsh enough to judge you based on your looks!

    Cheer up man you sound like a great person and while things may seem tough they will go your way trust me =)

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    • The link is in the updates now. Hurry up and look though, I'm removing the picture soon. I don't want people to see me unless it'll help.

      ***This message is generic and is being given to all answerers of the question.***

    • Exactly. Well said.

    • I saw your picture and you look fine, you are just over reading what girls are saying. Everyone gets pimples and blemishes and in some cases acne, but it's bound to go away and when it does girls will want you not juts cause of that, but for being you and no one else. Once again I say don't worry about what High School girls say to you, just keep your head up and keep moving forward to the future you obviously have a smart and prosperous one ahead for you =)

What Girls Said 5

  • Well people can't judge without a picture.

    However, I will say you sound intelligent.. and not because you said so yourself. A brilliant mind is sexy to me, and a lot of people. I'd rather have your average looking guy who's smart than a perfect 10 who can't comprehend 5th grade vocabulary words.

    I doubt you're as hideous as you're trying to make yourself out to be. So stop being so harsh on yourself. I can't judge your looks, because you don't have a picture. But unlike physical appearances, you have something that will never fade, and that's intelligence. You're only a senior in highschool... stop letting your worries about your appearance get you down and bother you as much as it does, because your mind is going to take you places.

    There's physical beauty in everyone. Everyone can't always see it though. It's a shame, but society has created a standard that everyone else goes by to determine who is attractive, and who isn't.

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    • I updated the question stating that I can't post my picture. I don't like people seeing me, and I was hoping the internet would just be different.

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    • I don't know what it is you're so worried about. You made yourself sound atrocious, but that's not what I see at all. You took every physical aspect about yourself and turned it into a negative.. and to the extreme, might I add. Stand up a little straighter, hold your head a little higher, and smile a little more. You're not "too ugly" to get a girlfriend, but if that's how you walk around all the time, it is probably really intimidating and doesn't come off as approachable at all.

    • Start telling yourself why you aren't ugly. Once you start acting like you're more confident in yourself, people will see you as more attractive. Confidence is key. Even if that's not how you feel at that moment... fake it till ya' make it ya' know. Believe me, it can make a world of difference.

  • You're not ugly at all. If anything you have a very serious demeanor. Like you said about your IQ you look very intelligent. YOU ARE NOT UGLY! I can tell from your picture how much pain and hurt you've been through. It's so hard trying to find acceptance in your self even more so when others constantly put you down and make you feel even lower than you already do.

    The only thing I could tell you do to is once you have the opportunity to just go out into the world pursue your dreams since you're intelligent like you say you are pursuing your dreams shouldn't be all too hard.

    If ever you're feeling down and want someone to talk with, please don't ever be afraid to send me a message. I'll be more than happy to listen. :)

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  • Doesn't matter if a guy's ugly most women compromise on looks if they like your personality.

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    • The link is in the updates now. Hurry up and look though, I'm removing the picture soon. I don't want people to see me unless it'll help.

      ***This message is generic and is being given to all answerers of the question.***

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    • Just leave a note for your family if you do commit suicide no point in leaving them wondering why.

    • 2mo

      That's some awful stuff ti be saying to him what's wrong with you?

  • I am so sorry to hear that people can be so cruel sometimes. But just ignore them and have confidence in yourself!

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    • The link is in the updates now. Hurry up and look though, I'm removing the picture soon. I don't want people to see me unless it'll help.

      ***This message is generic and is being given to all answerers of the question.***

    • The link didn't work.

  • confidence

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    • The link is in the updates now. Hurry up and look though, I'm removing the picture soon. I don't want people to see me unless it'll help.

      ***This message is generic and is being given to all answerers of the question.***

What Guys Said 5

  • There are some really ugly guys in my school dating good looking girls, with the only reason being their confidence.

    I learned from observation and experience that girls don't just look at physical traits, but personality too. However, all they see is your physical appearance unless you start talking to them and let them get to know you. This won't happen though unless you are confident and start talking to them. And trust me, I know how hard it is to be confident, and you won't gain any confidence overnight.

    I'm sure there's other, "ugly" girls in your school that feel the same way like you do. Start conversations with them, maybe even friendships.This is the start building up your confidence. Let other people see you hanging out with other girls. ALWAYS have good posture, keep your head up and smile, not matter how ugly you are. Eventually ask those girls out.They might reject you but at least you'll know that you had the balls ask. They might also be thrilled that someone actually asked them out, and they will accept your new relationship with them.

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    • The link is in the updates now. Hurry up and look though, I'm removing the picture soon. I don't want people to see me unless it'll help.

      ***This message is generic and is being given to all answerers of the question.***

  • F*** these bitches. Get that money, if you're so smart. Once you get money you won't have to worry about sh*t. Girlfriends only get in the way.

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    • ... Stop cryin mother f***er you're not f***in ugly just look sad as sh*t. Highschool assholes like to make fun of people no matter how they look. If you allow them to keep calling you ugly then you'll just make it a part of your persona. You're in high school man, its not hard to switch things aound. Your peers arn't that smart.

  • There's someone for everyone, even we uglos.

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  • I think that must just be a thing going on at your high school. Are you planning on going to college? If you do, you're going to be around a bunch of strangers who won't know that they're supposed to think that you're ugly. Your question made it sound like you were the elephant man or something, but you're not. I know I might not be the best judge of male beauty, but I don't really see the problem here. You look a LOT like a friend of mine who's on the verge of getting engaged. I'm pretty sure he didn't date until his 20's for whatever reason, but who cares? Do you really think he looks back on his life with regret now that he's starting a good career, has a caring family, and has a nice long-term girlfriend with whom he really connects?

    I didn't organize my thoughts very well in this response, so forgive me. This might sound random, but you should start working out. By that, I mean get serious about it. The hardest part is getting started and getting into the groove of it. It'll make you feel good about yourself for a few reasons: 1) you'll begin to feel (and see) a difference, 2) it really feels like you're doing something useful/beneficial with your time (self-betterment!), 3) it feels great to burn the energy (and you'll feel like you have more energy that you want to burn), and 4) you get an increased release of endorphines (if you're into instant gratification). I'm not saying that this is a solution to make you feel great about yourself overnight. I'm just saying that 4 years from now, you can either look like you've been serious about working out for 4 years or not. That's all there is to it. Don't think about it as a short-term fix - it's not. Think about it as a lifelong hobby you're picking up. At first, you may not think it's worth the time. You may think you'll never see any results "in time," but you just have to be patient. What's your deadline? You're 18 - just think about where you'll be by your early (and especially mid!) twenties. The hardest part is forcing yourself to change your current routine and way of thinking and get on a workout schedule (and try!). Right now, you feel like you're hopeless...like you're helpless...like nothing can ever be done. The thing about lifting weights is that if you're dedicated to it (and eating right), you absolutely WILL see results for as long as you keep it up. If you treat it as something you plan on doing indefinitely, and you keep putting in the time and effort to do it right, it'll be impossible NOT to see results month after month, year after year. Once you first begin to see and feel the results, you'll realize that every last bit of effort and attention to detail you put into your workouts and eating habits has direct pay-offs. This may sound obvious, but seeing a direct connection between the effort you've put into doing a job right and the results you obtain is tremendously rewarding.

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    • Once you begin to feel the way each part of your daily routine is contributing to the tremendous results that you will inevitably obtain, you won't ever want to stop.

      You don't need to act cocky about it, of course. You'll be doing it because you enjoy. It makes you feel good. It also just so happens that girls like guys who are generally happy, have a positive self-image, and put some effort into taking care of themselves (not just physically - any form of self-betterment shows initiative).

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    • One last thing: if you do decide to work out, these videos offer a really, really solid foundation to build on. The ones about nutrition are especially helpful.

  • That looks like a really long question. You know, just from eyeballing it.

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