He used to be fat, and I hate fat people.

I know it's a terrible thing to say, but I really don't like fat people for various reasons (it's my own selfish view, I know) and I just found out the guy I'm dating used to be pretty fat and nerdy looking. He's OK now, could tone his body some more, but he runs marathons and exercises. I would say he's of average size, even though he used to be at least 50 lbs. over weight 2 years ago. I'm a bit afraid he'll start overeating again and become fat. What do you think I should do to see if he has a history of being overweight or if he'll likely go back to being heavy? What is the cycle of this?

Updates:
Ok, for the record, I don't hate fat people. I just don't want to date one and don't approve of their lifestyle if they are fat becuase of their habits. I understand some can't help it, but those that are just lazy annoy me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do him a huge favor and break up with him. He deserves better.

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    • Better? I worked really hard to stay in shape, eat healthy and live well. I think I deserve to be with someone who cares about those things as well. By not liking someone who didn't used to be like me doesn't mean he deserves better, in fact, I think I do.

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    • By the way, I've never done that much exercise in my life, I eat whatever I want, and I weigh 135lbs at 5'11. You gonna say I chose to be like that? You gonna say HE chose to be like that? People have no choice on these things. Sure, you can't eat pizza every day, but for some people it doesn't matter how much you work out - you'll still be chubby. Unless you have plastic surgery.

    • Haha being pregnant is differnt then choosing to eat like crap! I see what point you're trying to get across, I just have a thing about overweight people. Everybody has certain traits they won't tolerate in a partner, this happens to be mine. I was gifted with a flat chest, can't change it, but that's who I am and don't date guys who prefer big boobs, it's just about what you're attracted to.

What Guys Said 3

  • Okay, you don't like fat people, and don't want to date them... fine. That's understandable. Here's my problem... your issue with this guy isn't that he's fat... it's that he USED to be fat. You have completely disregarded the fact that he's managed to lose 50 lbs (which isn't easy), runs in marathons, exercises, and is genuinely trying to improve the quality of his life. In other words, you are so blinded by what he was that you can't see him for who he is.

    I agree with TimeandTimeAgain... he deserves better than you.

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    • I'm not blinded, he doesn't "deserve better," and it's not a big issue. There are other physical traits of his that are a turn off and I think this was just another thing that turned me off to top it off. He's a great person, but not my type physically.

  • The nicest people I've known so far were overweight and it was not exactly their decision. In fact, one of them had slow metabolism genetically, the other had her thyroid messed up by birth control pills. You can't just blame them for that.

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    • I agree, my old best friend was extremely overweight, but I guess dating someone is different. I know some people can't help it, but I think with him, he can, he just chose to not care what he looked like.

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    • Why do I need to know what it feels like to be fat? Do we all need to be 3 feet tall to know what it feels like to be a midget? Or have a disability to know that too? I'd rather not feel that way about myself, nor should you wish that on someone.

    • It's always nice to see the other side of your hatred. It's certainly an experience. :P

      But I get it, I get it... you dislike "fat guys" because it shows they lack the drive to stay fit. What you don't take into account is that there are people who eat one sandwich a day and yet they'll still gain 7 kilos in 3 weeks and there's almost nothing they can do, or at least it takes more effort than it's worth.

  • lets just say move on before you cause the guy some real harm...a lot of women tend to gain weight as the get older so watch out... BOOO!

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What Girls Said 3

  • Just tell him how you feel and break up with him because I don't think he deserves to be with someone who hates fat people. Like WTF!

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  • Losing weight is an awesome accomplishment but, keeping it off, sticking with the healthy choices, exercising and not going back to those horrible habits is a stupendous accomplishment. There's a lot of "cycles" that humans go through when struggling with weight issues and there all different. So what he needs is someone who will support, understand, will NOT judge him and will still like/love him even if he does become "fat" again. And from they way you inputted your question it seems like you wouldn't be able to do that for him. 1 reason is because you hate fat people 2nd reason you couldn't understand him since you've ALWAYS been in "shape". And I would like to add that this thee most cruel and ignorant post I've read. You also should just look for a man who is skinny or your type and that has history that you approve of.

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    • True, I was just curious what the cycle is like, since I can't relate to any of it. I don't know his history, I just saw a picture of him from a few years ago and I didn't even recognize him. He is in pretty decent shape now, so I was shocked to see that and he seemed proud to show me the picture and I'm not sure why.

    • what I could only inform you now is that when a person reaches their goal and their at the weight that makes them feel good, their likely to stay that way but, a lot of things can happen during this period that can make a person regain the weight. And he was proud and NOT embarrassed to show you those photos because he knows he looks decent now, he thought you wouldn't judge him, he hoped you'd like him for him and he though weight didn't matter to you. Uuyyy if he knew you hate "fat" people.

  • I hate to tell you, but anybody could become fat in the future, and it could happen due to a multitude of reasons. It doesn't matter if they used to be fat or skinny. There's no way of knowing if they are or aren't going to gain weight later on unless you're psychic. If that's your reasoning for not wanting to be with someone, then anybody you date has the possibility of letting you down.

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    • Well of course anyone can change, I'm just wondering how likely it is if someone has a history of being overweight to go back to those habits.

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