My white boyfriend told me that I don't look like a black girl because I'm too pretty to look like one?

My boyfriend is white and I'm black I'm really proud of being black so I just wanted to punch him in the face, was he trying to compliment me or something.

He carry on saying that he was never attracted to black girls but that I looked prettier than the white girls he knows.

I hear that on the regular bases "your so beautiful for a black girl" "your the most beautiful black girl I have ever seen" "it's so uncommon seeing someone so pretty from your race" but it hurts a lot seeing my boyfriend saying this

What do you think

Updates:
I talked to him like you all advise me to do, he is so dense he didn't even notice it had offended me he asked for my forgiveness like 100 times and said he didnt' mean like that

I'm going to be bad with him for a little while, so he will learn his lesson ;)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you need to let him know what you think, obviously he does not see the offense in it. I guess he just isn't attracted to black girls, I think a lot of people probably have the perception you're boyfreind does from guys of every race though. There are plenty of white guys who are attracted to black girls like rihanna, halle berry, gabrielle union etc but as a whole would state they don't like them, he just seems like one of them. I think black girls are attractive but you need to get this straight with him that it offends you!

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What Guys Said 8

  • yeah its not nice, but as a white guy I can honestly say that I don't find very many black girls attractive. infact, its kinda the opposite. I have seen some very very beautiful, sexy black girls though, its just rare.

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  • Yeah its a compliment. Most white guys don't find most black girls attractive. Its not Racist, they just often prefer white woman. So for him to say you are really pretty, prettier than most or any girl he has ever seen. why would you NOT take it as a compliment.

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    • well the majority of people are generally more attracted to their own race regardless of race... although that is what statistics show.

    • Wow wish black men would find attractive white women they usually go for the sh*t ugly ones overlooked by your people!

  • Wow that's messed up... People shouldn't feel that way about the person they are supposed to love. I don't really know what else to say.

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  • Women want honesty and this is what happens.

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  • I really don't see the problem here.

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    • its the "for a black girl" part that gets really annoying it implies most black girls are ungly and your an exception to the rule

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    • Yeah aware of that part of history MUPPET but the topic is on skin colour NOT hair colour!

    • Same thing, people need to quit being so over-sensitive.

  • You need to have a real honest talk with him and let him know how you feel and what is and isn't acceptable to say. As someone who has experience with interracial dating, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with telling him if you're offended, just like he wouldn't be wrong for taking offense if you said something that was racially insensitive.

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  • its a compliment, he thinks you are pretty

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    • If it were simply a compliment, he could leave off the 'for a black girl' modifier.

    • he was relating it to her obviously say her as a black girl is pretty, obviously it was thoughtful since he acknowledged it

  • WHAT

    how long have you gone out?

    I mean

    how long have you been dating a racist?

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What Girls Said 13

  • I would've punched him! I guess it's his way of complementing you, but to say your pretty because you don't look like a black girl is just and ugly comment! He could've said that he isn't usually attracted to black girls but your beautiful or something of that nature. hell he could've just said your beautiful. Period, that's it! I get annoyed hearing that whole your _____ for a black girl crap, what can't I just be _____(add adjective) lol end of rant!

    I would reverse it on him, or something just to see how he reacts, but then explain why and how it hurts to hear those things! Or him might keep saying things like that!

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  • Although I'm sure he doesn't mean it in an offensive way, I can completely understand why you'd feel that way. "You're so beautiful for a black girl" certainly doesn't have the same impact as "you are so beautiful". I've had the "you're so pretty, you don't look Sri Lankan - you're so fair" comments and although they are intended to be complimentary, they p*ss me off. Are we being oversensitive? I don't think so.

    I think the only thing you can do is talk to him about it. Yes, it'll be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation - but it's better than saying nothing and being upset by his "compliments".

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  • Well, that says what he thinks of Black people! Let me guess, does he also say you don't act like one or sound like one? I'd dump his racist ass.

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    • Do you fancy men from mongolia?

      If you don't in general, are you a racist?

    • Telling you mongolian boyfriend or girlfriend that they don't look mongolian because they're hot means you have negative views of mongolians because of their race/ethnicity.

  • you could have told him the same thing ..."you look cute for a white guy" and see his reaction. if he reacts well to that , then maybe he didn't mean for it to come off as a "bad thing".

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  • I think it was a stupid thing to say but don't think he had bad intentions. Just didn't know better (I hope anyway)!

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  • Firstly regardless of what other GAG people are saying his remarks are not compliments but offensive, there are many beautiful black women and there are unattractive ones just like white, Asian or Latino women. Your boyfriend obviously knows that you are black and beautiful so how hard is it for him just to say that you are the most beautiful black girl I've ever seen - it's not hard at all but it is hard for a person to say that when they have hidden prejudices. I'm sure he would have taken it as an offence if you said that he is good looking for a white guy and that he must be mixed because white guys don't look the way you do it rare.

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  • He's not worth your time

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  • Lol try the silent treatment

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  • im black too and I've gotten thiings like this b4 and I find it offensive, I mean it kind of implies that all black girls are ugly. you should tell your boyfriend that it bothered you when he said that and try and explain why.

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  • That shoulda been a red flag please don't say your togehther

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  • Your guy is just not the best at expressing himself. I'm white and my husband is black and we have 2 kids, I would hate that my daughter would get such a comment, at the same time, a lot of people are really ignorant, not really racist, or mean, just ignorant. My husband often gets comments like, after talking to you I forget you are black...It's really a stupid comment, mostly saying: I'm an ignorant person and you do not correspond to the idea I have of a black person...My husband, instead of getting angry, takes the opportunity to break that wall of prejudice and educate the person. All that to say, let him know how it felt for you to hear that, I really believe he meant well, but does not understand that it was very hurtful to hear...Just my 2 cents.

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  • Sorry that's some racist ass sh*t to say. If you're proud of being black I don't know how you could tolerate that, he's basically dissing your race. He could have complimented YOU and said that you are so beautiful and pretty, not put your race down and act like you're the exception. It really doesn't matter if he finds black women attractive or not, it's about having tact and consideration. It's a very backhanded compliment. Tell him how you felt about it, and don't let anyone make you feel like you're wrong for feeling the way you do because you're not

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  • that is messed up may be you can talk to him about it let him know it hurt u...

    but in interracial dating this is common...its just the negative side effect of it...since it is out of the norm to date outside your race the people who decide to- they do it because that particular person is better looking then the rest of the race to them...thats what leads to the attraction component of the relationship

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