Is it wrong to look for a girlfriend if you already have a girlfriend?

Lets say you have a girlfriend, but you see a girl that you think is prettier than your current girlfriend. So, you decided to talk and flirt with her because you want her to be your girlfriend. Is that wrong?

Updates:
but I'm not cheating. Once I know this girl likes me I will dump my girlfriend.
I don't understand why everyone is so mad. I'm not hurting her by my actions

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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is wrong on so many levels. Let me tell you why. First off, you are betraying your current girlfriend. She thinks that she is in a happy, loving relationship, and yet you are willing to dump her for some girl who you find 'prettier'. How do you think that is going to make your current girlfriend feel, Oh wait, you don't care about her. Why do you think that she isn't good enough for you? Maybe it's the other way around, because your attitude towards your relationship with her is very telling. Your attitude towards relationships is highly unappealing, and I don't think ANY girl deserves that. It shouldn't matter her appearance, or level of attractiveness, you should love her because of who she is not what she looks like.

    It is cheating because you are just using your current girlfriend as a placeholder until little miss 'upgrade' comes along. You are the reason many women hate men. Using and taking advantage of their trust and then making them feel like crap in the process, smooth move. I'm sure you will win over your newest crush when she finds out the reason you left your ex. I hope she runs for the hills, for her own good!

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    • And yes you are hurting her from your actions! You are just heartlesss! Karma will come, just you wait!

What Girls Said 53

  • Yea its wrong because it sounds like you're settling for your current girlfriend and that you're not happy with the relationship. In that case, its not fair to you or her to stay in it. You're wasting her time and will probably end up hurting her more the more time you wait to end it. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you feel if someone stayed with you just to have a girlfriend but they weren't happy and are planning on leaving and have already started looking for your replacement while you're completely oblivious to it? Its not right, just end it.

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  • Your not hurting her by your actions wow you really sound dumb if your girl friend could read this question you wrote here she would be tore apart by this so before you say you are not hurting her by her actions you need to think bud! By debating should you break up with your girlfriend because you saw some one prettier! Stop! That right there is hurting her and the fact that you think so little of her looks and obviously of her as a person to disrespect her in such a way is hurting her! You sir are stuck in a elementary school stage! I don't know why in the h-e double hockey sticks you would ask this question and not expect people to be mad! Karma will be knocking on your front door soon buddy! You guys see why us girl think most of all guys are asses it's because guys like you do stuff so shallow and heartless, but go ahead and break up with your girlfriend she deserves way better than an immature asshole like you! " I'm not hurting her by my actions! Well how would you describe it!

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    • Karma will get him and its very likely that his girlfriend is with him because she also is looking for somebody else or just don't want to be lonly, how can she stand a guy that doesn't even know what actions hurt... Yacky bf

    • exactly I can't stand guys like him! 5 very famous words what goes around comes around!

  • If your girlfriend isn't pretty enough for you then dump her! oooh but you want your cake and eat it too of course. And chances are you won't dump the old girlfriend until a few dates with the new one to make sure she really likes you(I know you say you're not cheating..but com-on). Is it wrong? I will not decide that for you, look at it from the girl's perspective.. she should be the most beautiful thing in your life, yet you are just using her until the next best thing? What happens when your bored of the new girl? keep looking until another one comes along? Relationships take work, you can't bail every time things get rough, that new girl will have flaws too. You have to decide if you want this relationship to work out or not, if you don't then please end it! don't waste her time!

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  • O_O no sh*t that's wrong,

    You re decieving your girl friend into thinking she's in a healthy, committed relationship, and reaping the benefits of that, when in reality you are using her while you wait for the right moment to step on her heart when something better comes along.

    you re wasting her time and preventing her from finding a nice guy who cares about her, lying to her, and generally displaying a total lack of empathy and consideration for her feelings in the matter.

    on a related maybe you should consider taking a course on human ethics..

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  • plain and simple, stop wasting your current girlfriend's time and energy. If you have any sort of respect for her, break-up with her now so some other guy can come around and treat her waaay better. You're not ready for relationship because at the end of the day, though looks seem important, they can easily be gone. *sigh* you still got some (mental) growing to do... Best of luck.

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  • You see a girl you think is prettier... and THAT is what persuades you to go after her over your girlfriend? Then obviously you date for the wrong reasons.

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  • You sound shallow, you shouldn't even wait to see if the other girl likes you to break up with your girl friend! It seems to me you don't want to even be with your girlfriend so you might as well go right ahead and break up with her. It's ridiculous to make such a decision to break up with your girl friend over how she looks. One word you sound like you are UNDESERVING of your girlfriend she should be the one breaking up with you.

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  • /Facepalm

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    • what's facepalm

    • That's me figuratively smacking my forehead with the palm of my hand because I can't believe how immature your thought process is. Seriously, you don't have the emotional intelligence for a relationship yet.

  • Wow, you need some help growing up young man. Seek help lol

    My answer. Totally wrong.

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    • Women are not like a car or a phone that you "change constantly" because of how pretty is the new one from the other. You should know that you sounds like you're not yet ready for some relationship. You will just hurt people and maybe yourself as well if you continue that outlook in relationship.

  • How would you feel if you were with someone you loved and she started flirting with guys and looking for a new boyfriend before breaking up with you?

    Treat her as you'd want to be treated.

    Just dump your girlfriend if you think you can do better. It's pretty simple.

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  • There's a word for guys like you.. douchebag!

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  • It's wrong because you're basically making "back-up plans" in case you get with the other girl. It's not honest or fair to your current girlfriend nor is it fair to the girl you're trying to get with.

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  • Ask yourself this when you're wondering if something is wrong when it comes to your relationship - "Would I do this in front of my girlfriend?" It's not fool-proof, but if the answer is no, you probably shouldn't do it.

    Or, the age old wisdom of putting yourself in your girlfriend's shoes is another good test.

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  • This is very insulting!

    (to your girlfriend and your every ex gf)

    How special are they really? To you, I mean...

    Obviously not very much.

    Which is fine I guess, but then tell them in advance so they don't go nuts on you and do something completely crazy (there are some crazy people out there).

    So you're actually ensuring yourself that no matter how it turns out you'll still have a girlfriend when the smoke clears...nice...and rude also...

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  • Yes, that is wrong. Obviously you are too immature and not ready to be in a relationship. And men wonder why we have such a hard time trusting them. Idiots like you are the reason why we are such hard-headed, stubborn bitches when it comes down to trust. Ugh. Grow up. You don't deserve a girlfriend right now.

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    • Yes, these kinds of guys make us ALL look bad : ( but not all of us are this retarded. I know I'm not.

    • Yes, you're right. The fools like this one makes all men look bad. But lucky for you guys, I don't believe that every man is like this one. :)

  • A better girlfriend based on looks? Ur rili are so shallow and immature and dt girl deserves way better than u.

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  • IT is... its still part of Cheating EVEN IF you're saying " I'm not cheating Once I know this girl likes me I will dump my girlfriend" WHAT if the girl that you really like gonna do the same unto you what will you do?just think of it if you don't like your current girlfriend tell her then right away... ITS BETTER TO HURT BY THE TRUTH THAN TO BE HAPPY WITH LIES"

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  • yes it is wrong.. you should dumb your currennt girl and pursue the one you like.. if she isn't interested that is a risk you will have to take because the way you are going about it now is wrong

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  • YES IT IS VERY WRONG! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF MISTER! YOUR POOR GIRLFRIEND! SHE DESERVES TO DUMP YOU :)

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  • Hell yeah it is do you have any clue? Please just break up with your girlfriend that's not fair what you are doing to her...even tough I know many girls that have bfs and just don't wanna be alone...

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  • Ha, do you even have to ask?

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  • you are only staying with your girlfriend because you want a girlfriend. not because you love her. how good do guys think themselves look jeeez. you can't get a hot girl if you aren't hot yourself so don't have standards that are too high or you're gonna end up with a girlfriend whos uglier than your current girlfriend. appreciate how she's putting up with your sh*t. buuuuuuuut if she's a bitch then do w/e you want

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    • Im more attractive than she is. Also, I consider myself attractive so I think I deserve a more attractive girl.

    • i think I deserve a more attractive boyfriend, but it turns out that my boyfriend thought he can get a more attractive girl...ppl overestimate themselves sometimes in relationships

  • No one over here should judge him! he's just asking! but I think that if you cheat or fall for someone because of their looks then you don't deserve a gf

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  • That's really mean, you should end it with your current girlfriend, she probably doesn't deserve to be treated like that...

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  • wat I think is that you should jus get out of the relationship kuz yea it may not b cheating but imagine how your girlfriends gonna feel after she finds out and if your gonna do that sorta stuff especially durring a relationship than how do you think the othr girl will feel bout you she mite think eww I don't wana b with him he kould do the same krap to me

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  • that is wrong on so many levels. jerk move dude. think about how much youd hurt your girlfriend...

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  • Just wow.

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  • That's kind of just ridiculous.

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  • Nope.

    Next time have a backup before you get into a relationship.

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  • lol ..it's not right.

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What Guys Said 32

  • It's totally, completely wrong. It's disrespectful to the person you're with, it's disrespectful to the other girl you're interested in, and it's just plan slimy all around. Espescially since you're doing it just because you think the other girl "is prettier".

    You obviously have no love or respect for the girl you're with, though, so why even ask if it's wrong or right? This question is so blatant that I'm almost tempted to say that youz trollin', but I know enough guys to know you're probably serious, which is much worse.

    Do your current girlfriend a favour and just break up with her. I've never met her, but no girl deserves to date a callous, shallow jerk like you're showing yourself to be.

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    • Best answer right here! :)

    • Awesome answer love this and you are so right Darkfarie17 for best answer! The dumb ass above "TheMisogynist" is just as shallow as the asker. :~)

    • Great! Well said :)

  • Uh, yes, you are cheating if you are actively looking for someone else when you already have a girl. Once your loyalty shifts from your current girl to someone else, even if you haven't found her yet, you are cheating in my book. Bub, you've got all sorts of wrong written all over you. If you don't love her anymore but you're staying with her (especially if she thinks everything is fine and dandy), not cool. And girls wonder why they can't find quality guys. It's because of stuff like this that they think our half is interested in nothing more than a "good time". You are wrong, boy. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

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    • I can't believe you even bothered to ask, and that you were ballsy enough to not ask anonymously. That little box that pops up by your name when you hover the cursor over it says you work in education. I weep for your students.

    • Totally agree with you here! This is why guys have a bad rep, its guys who dump their girlfriend for someone 'prettier'.

  • If you have to ask, then you should already know it is...I've been there before, but you can't justify what you're doing only because she's "prettier" than your girlfriend, that's shallow. I'm not judging too much because I've been there...just re-evaluate your feelings for your girl (lay off the "crush" for a little while during your thinking process).

    Flirting with other girls is one thing, but actually thinking about dating one based on looks over a current girlfriend is unwarranted. Think a little, man...use logic. Good luck.

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  • The flirting part and intention is where you need to tread delicately. It is "normal" for a person to question whether or not they want to hang on to a relationship that isn't working (at least at the moment)...

    A lot of people are scared to be single... it seems as if this creates a lot more pain than if they had been single for the little while.

    I know a lot of people flit from relationship to relationship (both girls and guys) never giving themselves a chance to figure things out or "mourn" a loss of a relationship, and this seems to create a lot of needless problems. But breaking it off, and getting a little time to be alone and think things through can help people improve themselves. The time people spend being single gives them time for reflection. Perhaps it's an effect of the "mourning" process... and people are mourning the death of a relationship; everyone does this differently and in their own way, but to me,

    Logically, if you care about your reputation, it also cuts down on the amount of gossip; "Oh, he left me for another woman" or "he was trying to hook up with other girls" will be cut way down if you don't start dating someone else for a few weeks.

    Remember that the grass is not always greener on the other side. However, if it's nothing but fighting, bickering, etc... heck, whatever the couple's problems are, even if it's something you've decided that you can't be around (without fighting over it), then it's time to leave. If it's a deal breaker, it's time to leave, but you need to make sure you're right first and that you give the relationship some respect and not be flirting.

    I think that the more time you spend desiring someone else, the less focus you can give towards keeping/making your relationship healthy.

    You need to be clear with BOTH your girlfriend (She needs to know (if it's not clear) that you're starting to question being in this relationship, and it's time to slow things down a bit, back off, and figure out what you both should do before you start to get too close to this other girl. Sometimes the current relationship needs to get back to the basics before you decide to break it off.) and this other girl (after you discuss it with your current S.O) know (without being cruel).

    If you choose to pursue this with the new girl, 1) it might very well not work out; 2) be prepared for that 3) Give the current relationship a real effort before just leaving it; 4) "Prepare" her for the possibility of it not working; and if you decide to break up, break it off with class. Don't just "spring" it on her.

    Don't just keep a "placeholder" until you find something better. If you want to try for something "better" for you, give it the attention it needs by being single for at least a few weeks; this may give you the time and focus a new relationship needs in order to develop.



    Good luck.

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    • To your update... there's flirting and there's flirting. I had a couple of married "christian friends" - they'd grope and fondle waitresses... and when I'd say something in private, it'd be a defensive "I was just flirting." Oddly, they never did any of it around their wives for all it was just "harmless" and "not a problem."



      Good rule of thumb - If you would do it in front of her, you're either a jerk or it'd be an "ok amount" of flirting. If not, maybe it's too much flirting.

  • "but I'm not cheating. Once I know this girl likes me I will dump my girlfriend."

    that's kind of f*cked up, dude. you're practically using women as a source of pleasure rather than actually treating them like human beings.

    You wouldn't like it if your girlfriend dumped you because she found someone more handsome than you, right?

    ...well, OK you probably wouldn't care. but still! it's wrong because you can end up hurting another person's feelings without a good reason.

    Please reconsider :/

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    • Well, question asker, if she actually says that she won't get her feelings hurt and that she also wants to break up with you, then I suppose you can break up with her :/

  • Yes, it's wrong. That's cheating on your girlfriend before you even do anything. You're seeking out another girl when you have someone you're supposed to be committed to. At least do the girl a favor and split from her first. She doesn't deserve to get treated like that.

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    • @update, It's still a low thing of you to do.

    • Cool pic. Oh, and er good answer.

    • @Cailleach, why thank you :)

      @2nd update, How could you possibly think that you aren't or wouldn't be hurting your girlfriend?

  • What do you mean you're not hurting her?!? Does she still think everything is fine? If so, then you are leading her on. When you break up with her and all of the sudden you're with someone new the very next day, what do you think is going to go through her head? You are actively seeking a replacement for her. She is going to wonder what was wrong with her. If she saw the "you see a girl that you think is prettier than your current girlfriend", what do you think that would do for her self image? A regular break-up is one thing, but to be dumped for someone else is a different story.

    Still think you're not hurting her?

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  • Yes that's wrong, it's just as bad as cheating

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  • yes it's wrong. if your not happy with your girlfriend then break up with her. if you are happy with her then leave other girls alone.

    many people lack the guts to do that because we now live in an upgrade world. and we have to have something ready to replace every thing in our lives. sad truth is that most people I know that end a relationship have someone else already on standby that they have been talking to for a couple of weeks to ensure a safe seamless transition. if I have paved the runway with another girl and took interest in her and made sure she was interested in me before I break up with my current girlfriend then I HAVE CHEATED. cheating isn't just about sex. I say man up and make a descision. if your not happy and your having to go window shopping, be fair to your girlfriend and end the relationship. don't be too scared to be alone for a few weeks or however it takes to meet someone else.

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  • No, you're wingwalking (Don't leave one till you have your foot on another). It's kind of reprehensible.

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  • Take a long hard look ladies, this is the kind of guy that always has women lined up to be with him.

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    • yes, unfortunately girls will be breaking their heels and chipping their nails trying to get to this guy.

    • lol one of the guys who believe if you're nice you're screwed.

    • A woman has no idea what she's talking about, yet keeps talking. How unusual.

  • hahaha... " but I'm not cheating. Once I know this girl likes me I will dump my girlfriend." hahaha That's really funny, and I'm not being funny about it, honestly! I think you can do it, but I'd say just don't pretend with your current girlfriend there's anything serious or don't say things to lead her on. What you're doing is getting a sure f*** and a bit of cuddling, I understand the temptation of playing it very dirty to get all of that at your disposal as and when you want it, which is what kids do with toys. I'm not condemning you neither judging, I'm not better than that, just be aware that in this case you are toying with people and that has consequences, it is up to you how you want to act, just take full responsibility for your actions and consequences, i.e. don't be a coward and shy away or look for excuses if the consequences are not pleasant and are named a mean bastard and a player. It's OK, as long as you are honest about admitting you are a player and have no interest in anybody else's feelings to get what you want

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    • Just remember though, people will get very angry, and righty so, at you, and will look for their revenge. If one day you get the same treatment, don't complain, that's basically what I'm saying

    • actually... I must say... I'm not that cool about it as I appeared to be above. If you're toying with her, well, no, it's f***ing wrong

  • I laughed really hard when I read the title.

    Lmfao. And I just did again.

    hahahahhaha and again.

    yeah its kind of wrong. but if you aren't happy with your current G/F then..its best to just tell them you need a break. or break up.

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  • Someone delete these stupid ass questions please.There's been a lot of these lately. Theyre either trolling or people are getting even more dumb.

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  • you are very shallow and heartless

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  • Yes.

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  • haha, it's absolutly wrong bro. That's beyond not okay.

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  • Yeah it is but I'm pretty sure you already knew this

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  • Has Karma punched you in the mouth yet?

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  • is this a serious question?

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  • Lol , just break up with your girl you don't sound happy with her .

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  • That's actually something I would do. I get the safety net thing and going after the other girl if it's a sure thing. Just make sure that the other girl you're planning on getting with is an improvement and not just someone new and exciting. Cause you could lose your girlfriend for someone you thought you wanted not ended not wanting afterall.

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  • Wrong on so many different levels.

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  • WRONG

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  • Of course that's wrong!

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    • well said sir! I have some friendz who just like to shift from one girl to another ~ sleeping round ! and they get the hottest one all the time ~

    • lol :)) thumbs up!

  • Complete ass hole move. Gotta show some class and respect to people.

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  • No, it's not wrong. If you were so absolutely in love with your current girlfriend that you had no desire to play the field, then you would have married her. The very fact that you two are not married is an unspoken acknowledgement that each of you may find someone they want more. Screw all those people telling you it's wrong. Relationships have no rules, just unspoken agreements.

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    • Cming from someone with the nickname "TheMisogynist" I'm totally not surprised no one agrees with you.

    • Show All
    • Ah, see that is where our opinions diverge, you still cling to the outdated and foolish notion that women should be respected. Whereas I have a more modern and enlightened approach.

    • Obviously, judging by the number of peoPle disagreeing with you, your approach seems to be the dated one. Stating that anyone should be disrespected for any reason is the unenlightened view, in my opinion.

  • wow dude ure the best ! lol

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  • its not like your married. your not bound to your current gf.

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  • Is it wrong to call you a dumbass? Not in this situation.

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