Which of these 3 traits is the best to stop looking for in a partner?

1. intelligence/conversational ability

2. sexual attraction

3. humor

Updates:
I know there are guys out there, but I'm not good enough to land them. I need to give up one of them to get #4. Commitment.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should stop looking for intelligence. A guy can still be funny and carry a good conversation, but not have to be really smart.

    Personally, I used to only go for super smart guys, and it never made me happy because I wasn't attracted enough to them. I was sacrificing attraction for intelligence. Humor always brightens your day and your life, so that's important. If a guy was really smart and really sexy but I never laughed with him, life would be dull.

    Anyways, my current plan is to go for guys who are funny and attractive. The brainiacs just didn't work out for me.

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    • I don't mean educated, though. Do you find that guys who aren't very smart are as funny and as easy to talk to as guys who are intelligent? From experience?

    • Yeah, I totally think being easy to talk to is separate from intelligence. Because it's more about being open, having a little self confidence, having things in life they are interested in, and also just having the personality trait of being talkative. On the other hand, I've met plenty of extremely smart guys who have trouble holding a good conversation. They are too shy, or they are more into thinking than talking :/

    • Also, I think sense of humor is more of a compatibility issue between two people. If a girl only finds witty intellectual jokes funny, then she's probably only going to like a smart guy. But I tend to have a quirky sense of humor, so either a guy shares it, or he doesn't. I will crack up at random things, and if a guy finds the same things funny, then we're good :) For example, I will laugh all the way through most funny movies. If he does, too, then cool.

What Guys Said 6

  • ive always found that if you can make a girl laugh you can win her heart...so I wouldn't say humor

    sexual attraction id say you can take away but also in the future become more attracted to them because of their personaility?

    ability to hold a conversation is IMPORTANT, communication is KEY to a successful relationship - amoungst many other things

    meh, id say sexual attration to a point...

    but here's the thing, why are you looking for all 3 at once, you can find all 3 in a guy by starting with one of them...

    the point is - STOP LOOKING, love will find you...the harder you look, the further away you'll get from "finding" it...

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    • The only thing that bugs me about giving up on sexual attraction is that a guy isn't going to date a girl he isn't very attracted to. So, he's gonna be hot for you and trying to get up on you all the time. If you aren't attracted to him, it makes it harder to deal with his attraction to you.

  • I'd say intelligent conversation.. I'd f***ing love a girl that I could have an intelligent conversation about music or film or philosophy with, but you can still have a lot fun and enjoy life with a really funny person. You can always go to your mates to have intelligent conversations, but in a relationship you need to WANT to spend time with your partner. And fun is a lot more fun than a serious conversation :)

    As for the other two, I'd say 3 would be next to go. Humour is awesome, but again, there's funny stuff everywhere.. If you feel you need to laugh you can go on the internet, watch a movie, see a comedian, hang out with mates.. Comedy is everywhere.

    Sexual attraction I couldn't really throw away at all.. In my opinion, if your in a relationship and not sexually attracted to your partner.. what makes her any more than a really good friend?

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  • 1,3,2 in that order.

    I can be sexually attracted to almost anyone if she's smart and funny.

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  • can't give up humor, no way. you misspelled that by the way haha.

    sexual attraction is essential in order to have sex, unless I'm down to have a sexless relationship.

    but I don't want a girl I can't hold a convo with or one who isn't very smart...

    hmm, good Q.

    i guess I'd give up sexual attraction, my hand will have to do I guess.

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    • HA! I've been reading too much British Lit lately! :)

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    • GAG, you learn even without asking questions ;)

    • lol yeah you do.

  • The MOST important trait is a shared world view, a partner is someone who will work with you to achieve goals in life.

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    • So are you beginning to see what I view as the 'most important' trait and why I think the ones you listed are only introductory traits?

    • I do understand what you're saying, but I still think that similar world views is why people become attracted to each other in the first place. Or maybe that's just me.

  • Number 2. I'm saying sexual though not physical.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I'd say sexual attraction, if we're talking about first impressions. When I first met my most recent crush, I really wasn't attracted to him at all-- it's not that he was bad looking by any means, but he just wasn't my type. Then I got to know him-- he is honestly the kindest, most intelligent guy I've even met, and he has such a fantastic sense of humor. I fell for his personality easily, and now I love the way he looks simply because it's part of who he is. :)

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    • I mean in the whole relationship ...

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    • Hm... I guess things would be a bit more complicated in that case, but if all else failed I'd still drop number 2. For me, attraction has two components: physical (sexual), and intellectual/emotional (relating to personality). The latter is an absolute must for me-- I don't need a guy who's a genius or a straight-A student (though that would be a plus :P) but he has to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation. Likewise, being Russell Peters funny isn't necessary, but being able to laugh

    • at a good joke is. :) I don’t know that I could date someone I was completely unattracted to, physically speaking, but I wouldn’t have to be attracted to them either, if that makes any sense. :P Sexual attraction is great, but if that emotional attraction isn’t there as well, it’d be hard to imagine the relationship having much of a future. :)

  • 1 and 2 are important to me. 3 is normally existant in some degree anyhow. what degree is irrelevant, in my opinion.

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  • If you're asking this because you don't think a guy is out there that has all these qualities then don't give up. There is a guy. Never settle. I'd rather be single than be in a miserable relationship.

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    • Listen to whoever you like..but Vasillilaw is gving you the straight sh*t...

  • If you don't think you're good enough for guys like that then you need to work on yourself before you think about dating someone else. You have to love yourself before loving another person because you can't rely on another person to give you happiness. You can find the perfect guy if you have confidence. :)

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    • Confidence doesn't really pertain to women. That's more a guy thing. Women is mostly raw appearance.

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    • Friend Vasillilaw is correct...and a female doesn't have to be hot in order to get my attention..does sexually acceptable make sense?...I like slender, for instance, so would be willing to give up a little on looks..I would prefer intelligence but not a requirement, I would prefer humor but not a requirement..I look for absence of negatives: not clingy, not bitchy, not high strung, not naggy...u need to listen to my friend here...

    • Ok .. to put it this way. Guys who find me "sexually acceptable" are going to be lacking in one or more of those traits. I can't decide which one is the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

  • intelligence. He can be funny and sociable with the ability to have a really nice conversation wtih and be extremely attractive but I would drop intelligence. humor, sexual attraction, and conversation skills are a must in my book.

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  • Take away sexual attraction and you just have a good friend.

    Take away intelligence and you just got a fu ck buddy.

    I guess you could take away humor if you're one of those hannibal lector types but for the most part those all seem pretty necessary.

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    • Arg. Ok, so what negative trait should I add to the list to make guys more attainable?

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