Why do guys mostly look at the outer appearance?

I have a friend who is kind of big in size but even bigger in heart and she isn't ugly she is very beautiful. She is always complaining that she needs to loose weight because guys don't like big girls.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's the first thing guys notice. After that, we do start to notice the personality, or at least I do. Guys are visual creatures. There's no point denying that. Girls seem to be stimulated by more things than guys, and that also unfortunately means that they often hold guys to the same standards. I'm not saying that that's a bad thing, but I am saying that it means that many guys will often fall short. If a guy can capitalize on the other senses that girls are attracted to, then they have the world as their oyster. Some guys are capable of deeper thought and feelings, but it's rarer than gives guys credit.

    I must say this though: A girl that is more comfortable with her body weight, whether larger or rake-like, is more attractive than a girl that constantly worries about weight. I've liked larger girls before, but I can't remember liking a girl that constantly talked and fussed over her weight. I have nothing against them, but it's just not an attractive personality trait. Sure, if you're overweight, lose a few pounds as it isn't healthy, and if you're anorexic, gain a few pounds, as that's less healthy. BUT, don't make such a big deal over it that you forget to smile and live. Want a little secret? It's easier to lose/gain weight if you're unfussed about it. It's more attractive too.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Depends how big.

    I don't mind chubby girls at all , girls that weigh more than me can still be very pretty and I do get attracted to girls regardless of their weight, but up to a certain point.

    Honestly, some of the girls I liked most in the past 3 years were bigger than me (and I'm not small, I'm average) and it didn't bother me at all. Some of my friends told me "dude she's fat" but some friends did realize that they are beautiful and nice.

    So depends on the guy too, some guys just automatically think that anything other than skinny is bad, but some don't have such restrictions.

    But no one that I liked was over 200 pounds. I don't want to sound shallow or anything, but if a girl weighs more than that, then guys will simply have a hard time to get attracted to her at first sight. I don't want to sound disappointing or anything, because guys can still like her if they just become friends and over time they can like her more if she has such a big heart, but most guys will probably not find her attractive when first meeting her if she's too big...

    anyway , it's nice to see people here trying to help their friends.. good luck to her

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  • Because most guys are run by visibility. We are attracted by what we see. It's not really our fault, it's almost an instinct.

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  • Well. If she's a lot bigger than her natural healthy size should be. It means she doesn't take care of herself. She either has bad discipline and eats too much or doesn't work out enough. You can tell if someone is big boned or just fat. How you normally look says a lot about the type of person you are. Unlike skin color or body shape, weight is something you CAN control.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think beauty is on the inside. If a guy doesn't like a girl because she is a little bigger, then he is not worth her time anyway. You should tell your friend to not settle for anyone who doesn't like her for her. Some guys are just concerned with looks, and some are genuine. She just needs to find one of those genuine guys.

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  • If guys don't like her, then they are the wrong guys. If she wants to lose weight, then she needs to lose weight for herself, not for anyone else. She'll find the right guy when he comes along. Tell her not to worry!

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  • Honestly I would advise her to lose weight. I'm a big girl too and I can say from experience that if she wants to wait around for one of those "genuine quality guys who don't care about weight" she will be waiting practically forever! I'm not saying a big girl will NEVER attract a man, but come on, it's easier for a slimmer girl to get a guy. guys are attracted to looks first so if he's not attracted to you it's gonna be harder to get a boyfriend.

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  • Well to be honest, I think guys should be less shallow.

    But unfortunately, the looks are the first to catch a guys attention.

    Still there are tons of guys that like girls for who they are. (not just on the outside)

    You just have to wait to find the right one.

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