How can I be less intimidating for guys?

every guy I like absolutly cannot talk to me or approach me for some reason its always the old busted up pervs lol. I ask them why and almost every answer is "you're intimidating" I have no idea what they mean by this? the only thing I can think of is how I look and dress. my hair and makeup is always done on point and I always dress nicely no matter if I'm going out or to class. how can I be less "intimidating" so guys can approach me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Beautiful women are intimidating because guys don't approach them for fear of angry rejection. These women attract many men and have to turn down many of them.

    Well-done-up women are also intimidating because it shows that they are confident. Many great guys simply can't go toe to toe with a woman in an initial conversation because the physical appearance is simply a distraction to a guy's confidence.

    Now, being friendly as the girls have posted is a start, but a danger (i.e. beautiful women danger above).

    Dressing down is also a good thing to do because then the guys you see most often can see your casual side and see that you do know how to have an off-day. The more of these you do, the better you'll also feel about yourself. This will show that you can let your guard down and maybe, just maybe, if there's a guy you like, he may notice you dressing down, and this will trigger a response in him that maybe you are approachable.

    Is there a reason you always need to have a 5 star quality appearance in public incessantly?

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    • i just like to look and dress nice that's all. really no reason behind it

    • Well, nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but when you do find that guy, he will want to see who you really are without all of that polish because, as I do believe it, women are most beautiful with nothing on. My soon-to-be-ex-wife was most beautiful when she was sleeping.

    • thanks for the advice!

What Guys Said 8

  • Girls that put off the aloof, or disinterested attitude is not very sexy, and can put guys off.

    A little secret that will give you the edge over most women out there. It's very simple.

    1. Smile.

    2. Say "Hi".

    Simple as it may seem girls, don't do these two fundamental things. I've instantly felt way more attracted to girls that can manage these "skills", even more so over the girls that are supposed to be "hotter".

    This also makes you "less" intimidating. ;-)

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    • i actually tried this with my crush but he still can't talk to me just looks and stares lol but I will definitely take your advice

    • well..his advice is not bad...and it beats the sh*t out of inactivity...does it not?

  • To me, a female that is "intimidating" is a female that doesn't have a friendly or social aura/mannerisms.

    Since females (for SOME strange reasons) rarely approach guys, if they don't look friendly & sociable, they're doomed to be, at best, sex toys for douchebags.

    Most genuine guys don't play the "numbers game" that douchebag-type guys do. The genuine dude may approach 3 females in a week, while the douchebag approaches 20.

    Since genuine dudes approach less often, they choose females that have the least odds of rejection based on appearance. If you look mad/irritated/angry in the face, if you're walking fast, if you're sitting with your arms crossed or have other negative body language...

    ...you repel the genuine guy.

    However the douchebag may like the "challenge" of approaching a female that looks unapproachable.

    My point?

    Make sure your aura, facial expressions & body language is inviting & sociable, then you'll have more GOOD guys approach you. :)

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  • I don't think it is about the looks but the feel.

    Maybe you are too aggressive in your manners or have a strong sight. Go to the therapist in your school to give you hints of it.

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    • Yeah..well..then ..maybe a little more reserved? AND FOR XXXXX sakes..smile?

    • taster is right I'm more researved but still outgoing. definitely not aggressive and I have no idea what you mean by strong sight?

    • Strong sight = looking in a non friendly way. Maybe too conceited or too contemptuous...

      Smiling is a good way but it's not for everyone, just be more inclusive. Say hi and get interested in others. Maybe by being reserved you focus on yourself a little too much. It would be best to ask directly to someone who feels intimidated or at least by making a friend to ask if they are too intimidated to talk openly with you. Here we can only guess.

  • there's a girl I work with who intimidates the hell outta me, and I don't typically get intimidated. She's by far the most attractive there, but she doesn't give off an approachable vibe. She doesn't smile unless someone talks to her, even then its not the warmest smile. Her overall 'look' I guess just intimidates me I don't know how to describe it any better

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    • have you ever thought she might be shy and can't just star a convo with someone unless they approach her? you said she smiles whenever others talk to her so she is putting on a friendly, easy to talk to vibe. maybe start a convo with her

    • WELL THAN...why doesn 't she smile? (grits teeth)

    • i've tried before but the conversation usually dies quickly making it difficult to want to try again

  • I understand I am scared of girls I like

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  • I don't know what you're talking about you seem like a sweet girl to me

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    • aww thanks! I don't know maybe their just shy. not all guys are confident or able to approach a girl they like. guess I will have to start stepping up lol

    • i didn't used to be confident asking out women.. after figuring out there are many many women out there, rejection by one just meant move on to another..

  • u approach them

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  • Don't worry, they probably have small d***s.

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    • Well...Un-f888ing reassuring ..for every...one?

    • She's one of those girls with a 'requirement', if the guys are shy, they don't meet her requirement anyway.

What Girls Said 2

  • have a friendly aura, like smile a lot and say hi. Make up sometimes make you look intimidating so lessen it up.

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  • smile at the guys you do like. looking approachable is more about body language than your style.

    you're supposed to dress nicely when you leave the house. just because so many Americans have adopted a culture of sloppiness doesn't mean you should dress down to not intimidate insecure guys. if a guy is scared of a woman that looks nice he's insecure. people in the 40s dressed up when they left the house, that's just having respect for yourself and pride in your appearance. why is it a big deal now?

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    • i agree with everything you just said.. I just thought that maybe if I look or dress a certain way then it would make it harder for a guy to approach. if my rushing or lazy that day I will just throw on some lounge clothes and I get hit on more but if I'm all dolled up like I usually am then guys just look/stare and smile but never approach.

    • There's nothing wrong with a ponytail, t-shirts and yoga pants. It just means that I'm confident enough to not have to dress up to feel beautiful. Yeah, I can doll myself up and look like I'm on the red carpet, but why not be casual every once in a while? Americans are sloppy? At least we shave our body hair. Besides, my boyfriend says that he thinks I'm most beautiful when I'm not trying to be and I think he's his most handsome in his baseball practice clothes. Effortless beauty is hot. :)

    • Neither one of you are whacked...U shouldn't have to change the style of your dress to make somebody else's statement..after all...if I don't like the way you dress...might I not also be unhappy with your thought that caused you to dress that way? Are we not trying to attract partners that like us for what we r? Yes, first impressions can be wrong..in fact they are all the time...we need to stay flexible...

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