Who is more shallow, guys or girls?

I say guys are unequivocally.

Guys won't even consider dating a girl unless she is (very) attractive to him. Guys only approach girls based solely on looks. Whereas girls can force themselves to overlook a not so good looking guy (initially or a friend) because he has other admirable traits that make him desirable, and eventually, more appealing. Such as treating her well, being funny, having a good job or pursuing a degree, etc.

What do you think?

  • Guys are more shallow
    62% (15)14% (5)34% (20)Vote
  • Girls are more shallow
    38% (9)86% (30)66% (39)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Okayyyy, not really digging all the dudes telling me I'm flat out wrong. I'm entitled to my own opinion and I don't appreciate being attacked for it.


So step off. <3

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's all just preferences. I think the whole notion of "shallowness" is WAY overblown. People like other people for all sorts of random reasons. Attractiveness, height, humor, intelligence, sociability, disposition, wealth, age, race, religion, culture, etc., etc. And they're ALL equally "shallow" or put another way, equally personal. So no, I don't think guys are any more shallow than girls, but then again, I don't see a problem with ANY dating criteria. You should ONLY date people you're excited about dating. You're not doing anyone any favors by giving them a shot if you're not into it.

    To your first point, I think girls are WAY more focused on the looks of girls than most guys are! Hahaha! I mean, you'll never hear guys picking apart what a girl wears or how her hair looks like other girls will. And I know PLENTY of girls who have very strict criteria like age, height and education level cut offs that they apply to guys. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Again, you should be excited about who you date.

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What Guys Said 21

  • Whoever is making the initial approach is going entirely off of nothing but looks. So I'd say it's 50/50 in that regard. Really, you have nothing else to go off of, right? So when making the initial approach to introduce yourself, you're doing it out of superficial reasons. It only seems guys are more superficial in that regard because they're usually the ones doing the approaching. But ask yourself, what qualities could a person who was a total stranger standing at the opposite end of the room possibly have that would make you want to go up to them to make conversation? Looks is invariably the only answer, because it's all you know about them at this point.

    Anyone who actually KNOWS someone, whether guy or girl, can overlook looks for other admirable traits. But before you've approached, you don't know them. All you know is how they look.

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  • I would say its pretty equal. You made some good points for why men are more shallow but in my experiance women can be just as shallow. I remember sitting in class back in high school and a group of girls sitting behind me started ranking how hot guys at the school where. They ended up putting me in the to ugly to talk to category and they said it right when I was sitting there. In my life I have shown a lot more respect towards women then they have shown towards me. But hey I'm just another guy so I suppose that makes me bad.

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  • I only rule out the girls I find unattractive. No one said they have to be perfect... -_-

    Now girls on the other hand, want the guy to be a perfect gentleman while also a slightly cocky joker with awesome humor, a car, a decent income and he should also be at least 6' so he'll be a worthy trophy!

    It really depends on the individual, but I'd say girls can go WAY more haywire about stupid expectations. I mean, as shallow as the dumbest guys can get is "she should have long hair, breasts and a big butt".

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  • I'd say girls, simly because they're not criticized for it generally, It's acceptable for a girl to be a bubblehead but a guy will get constant criticism from just about..everyone.

    Maybe I'm sayin girls get away with ACTING shallow...

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    • So far it's 26-15, about a third of the GIRLS admit they are more shallow, and US women aren't exactly committed to self-criticism...

  • Answers are about what I'd expect. Guys think girls are shallow, and girls think guys are shallow.

    Most people have had someone they were interested in, but got rejected because of their appearance. Everyone's shallow.

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  • Well, since you started this whole thing on the wrong foot to begin with, I'd say that you are completely wrong. For one, you made this a black and white question, which it can never be, since there are too many exceptions to go one way or the other.

    Although I cannot say that the attractiveness of a girl is unimportant, I do know, considering my own personal experiences where I have over looked the superficial flaws in a girl. With that, however, there is absolutely no way I'd ever consider dating a girl if she is not sexually attractive to me since it is a vital part of every healthy relationship. You can say I'm wrong, but get your facts right and realize that it is proven in countless relationship studies.

    Have a nice day and hopefully you can reconsider your harsh criticism.

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  • I think there are shallow girls and guys. Usually the girls I like aren't the most beautiful to me initially... I just like unique personality traits and depth. Usually as I get to know her more and more she becomes increasingly beautiful to me. Trust is a big thing to me and if I can trust you I'd go to incredible lengths to please you regardless of my initial attraction to the girl.

    So I don't think being shallow can be catagorized by gender...

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  • In my experience, it's the women cause they judge you before you even talk to them. That's really annoying and makes those girls look like stuck nine year olds with too much make up.

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  • i have to disagree with that statement, please don't go spreading that libel about guys. Now some guys are players and approach girls solely on looks, but I've known lots of girls that freak out when they see "hot" guys. I don't go solely on looks, I merely have standards ie a benchmark. A basic criterion if you will.. Personality is much more important than you might think to us. I have no use for a beautiful woman with no personality (like a celebrity), but if an unattractive girl has a great personality then she can be a close friend, I just won't pursue a romantic relationship. All I really want from this world is a (decent looking) girl that really loves me and is light-hearted and has a sense of humor. Everything else is taken care of if those values are true. So I have to vote that girls are more shallow based on your synopsis of guys

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  • Depends in what way. I'd honestly say girls over all, but not by a wide margin. Not sure how to describe it. Both are pretty shallow when it comes to looks, but for different reasons. Both are pretty shallow about relationships, but again different ways. Women seem to put more emphasis on status and wealth, men put more on sex/looks/etc. It's really stupid all around :\

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    • btw Tia, considering how many girls around here are all "won't date fat guys, ever, period" which is a little easier to change than say something like a birthmark or some bone issue or whatnot, I'd say women are pretty shallow when it comes to appearances too. It always amuses me about the fat bit because, guess what, that could be changed if you help encourage them to work out. Sure they might try, but if they have no support structure they'll fail. There's a reason for weight watchers.

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    • You went off on a tangent there.

    • I do that a lot.

  • It's funny how all the girls voted 'A' and all the guys voted 'B' lol

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  • Individuals

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  • Guys are more shallow. Girls are shallow too, though.

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  • you never said it was your opinion, you stated it as fact like an encyclopedia educating aliens on our gender

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    • Really? Because last time I checked, I said "I say..." Can you read?

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    • I'm perfectly calm. And now I can sleep at night knowing some random person off the internet isn't going to sue me for typing my opinion out on a site about giving your opinion...

      Thanks!

    • i'm sorry, that was forward of me

  • Yes, men are more shallow. I cannot date a girl who isn't perfect in appearance.

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  • i think it equal we can be very shallow about looks but girls ark just as bad

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  • Girls are way more shallow. Not saying that guys aren't shallow but at least we're honest about it. Girls go on and on about how shallow guys are and how looks or money don't matter as much but that's all self righteous speech to make them look better.

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  • Guys won't date a girl they don't find physically attractive. Girls won't date a guy they don't find physically attractive. On that grounds, it's equal.

    However, girls also have requirements regarding the guy having money, whereas guys usually don't. Therefore, I give the crown to girls on this one.

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  • dating people based on status is just as shallow as looks.

    also girls have preferences too don't act like you dont

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    • you only date white guys right?

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    • I know a whole lot of Asian guys who can't get dates because Asian girls reject them for white guys. Sure, it's not a bad thing being attracted to a certain race but how can one not be attracted to their own race. I think that is very shallow. Women are far more shallow than men and it's funny how they say something silly like "oh, a lot of men just date ugly women because they know they can't get anyone better" to defend themselves. Look who's being shallow in that statement.

    • Girls don't like guys for who they are. You have to be a certain way and fit their description of how a man is supposed to be in order to gain their attention.

  • A girl liking a guy based on his job is also shallowness since she's being shallow based on how much he makes. Guys are only shallow based on looks and even then, the most unattractive girls have few guys at least lined up to go out with them. If a guy doesn't have chiseled looks, jacked body, or a lot of money then he has to go through hell till he finds a girl who likes him for who he is. By the way just look at divorce rates in the country. It's way too high and it is instigated by women 95% of the time. It usually is money related like if a guy unexpectedly loses a job, women are willing to leave him and take half his money, the house, and kids with him. I really don't see how men are more shallow than women when every woman has a chance with some man but not every man has a chance with some woman.

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    • I don't know why rest of the guys are saying "guys put more emphasis on the looks and girls on the status/money". Sure guys put emphasis on the looks and girls put emphasis on the guy's money but at the same time girls also put just as much emphasis on the looks. This right here makes women more shallow than men but you'll never have women admitting to it. They will keep programming in our heads that men are shallow so we'll feel guilty of ourselves. They say that because they want sexy/rich guys.

    • Sadly, that's very true :\

  • Both. Guys put an emphasis on looks and girls put an emphasis on money and status.

    And about the "Guys only approach girls based solely on looks" thing. What are we supposed to do? We don't know you, and most girls surely aren't going to approach.

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What Girls Said 13

  • Girls.

    Girls are harder on themselves, harder on other girls, and hard on guys (I can't verify if girls are harder on men than men are on themselves.)

    I feel like men have higher self esteems than women do- I've seen more men get offended and justify their looks if you tell them you don't find them attractive (like on dating sites) than women- women tend to get a bit more down and don't fight back.

    Look at the ratio of girls to guys on here with the "rate me" type questions. Way more girls. Girls place so much more importance on looks.

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    • On their own looks, ya :P on others, not as much as guys. Haha, hence what I was getting at with my post about how both are shallow about the same kinda thing but in different ways. Society in general continues the shallow mindset in most people :(

    • agreed, girls do care more about looks then guys. There's more girls into make up and face/hair then guys are. That's for sure with my relationship with my guy.

  • Lol I love how all the girls voted guys, and the guys voted for the girls. I don't think that this should be a gender thing because it all comes down to your personality, instead of typical stereotypes, that rnt always true. maybe in the movies or reality tv, but not in real life. if people were more open minded and took the chance to get to know someone underneith the skin with prejudging that they are too shy too werid, to fat to skinny, maybe the world would be a lot peacful.

    - hippy movement. ?<3

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  • I think we are pretty equal. We just may be shallow in different ways. Everyone is shallow to some degree but not everyone is willing to admit it. Maybe the girls around you just hide it better lol. I see plenty of shallow guys but I also see shallow girls everywhere.

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  • Maybe so. I don't think that dating a guy based on his career and how much money he makes or is going to make, is much better though, really. :S

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  • I don't think you can generalize. You'd find surprisingly girls and guys who don't give a sh*t about looks, just like you'll find girls and guys who want the person they're dating to be perfect.

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  • haha I love how almost all the guys said girls, and almost all the girls said guys, but I totally agree with you that guys are more shallow

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  • I completely agree with you.

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  • GUYS! If I don't look a certain way, they don't treat me nicely at all.

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    • Umm, same can be said for girls. Girls not only put emphasis on looks but at the same time also money.

  • All guys and girls are shallow...except YOU and I ! :D

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  • I disagree with you, because you are judging guys being shallow based how they look at girls and behave with girls. A criteria itself is not a sufficient condition to pinpoint that one gender more shallow in this case. But yes you are entitled to your opinion. And I respect that.

    Who is more shallow? Neither. Both are shallow in it's own ways, but individuals are so highly varied (due to cultural difference, upbringings, etc.) that it's so difficult to point fingers on which gender is the shallow one in general. Moreover, if you talking about guys and girls at the age of 60, shallow is probably not the most appropriate word to describe them anymore.

    What do I think? We are bound to meet shallow guys and girls everywhere, irrespective of age, culture, etc. Shallow is often viewed as a relative terms to self beliefs and point of views. A 30-year-old girl may see an 18-year-old girl as a shallow minded girl because of how they behave. But it's also shallow of the 30-year-old person to think so because they should have the maturity to understand that that's an 18-year-old mindset. So overall, I'm not really in favour of putting who's shallow, who's not, but rather, be less ignorant and be a bit more understanding. Not to mention, the more we think of who's the more shallow one, the more we put ourselves as the more shallow ones.

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  • Girls said guys are more shallow, and guys said girls are more shallow. What a surprise!

    I agree with Enchanted though, guys are way more shallow.

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    • LMAO how are guys way more shallow when guys just put emphasis on looks where girls put emphasis on both looks and money? It's like this, 80% of the girls only go for the top 20% of the guys, rejecting every remaining guy coming their way.

    • Are you kidding me? Girls can overlook looks when it comes to a guy, for a guy it's impossible to see the beauty inside a body they don't like because they don't give girls the chance to even get to know them.

  • it really depends on the person but I'm leaning toward guys. I know guys who will date unattractive girls but that's because they are realistic enough to know that they can't do better. some girls have low self esteem which causes them to settle for a guy they aren't attracted to at all. to me I don't really think that's admirable because if he has good personality qualities but you don't like his looks then you should just be friends.

    but then again I have known a lot of really ugly guys who feel entitled to beautiful women. I've heard guys be rude and make fun of girls who are on the same level of attractiveness as they are, but feel like they should only date girls who are 7s and higher. especially fat guys are the worst with this.

    i do know some girls who will not date guys they aren't attracted to (like me) but I don't consider myself shallow because I won't date a guy JUST for his looks. he has to have other good qualities besides his looks, and he doesn't have to be a hot guy, just cute or attractive to me. on the flip side I know some girls who won't even look at a guy if he isn't fine, rich or dress really nice. if he doesn't have all 3 or at least 2 of the combination he isn't worth her time. but these girls are in the minority, it's just guys choose to focus on them the most because they are usually the most gorgeous girls.

    guys will criticize a 9/10 hot girl for having high standards but will scoff at the 5/6/7 girl, and won't even look at anyone lower than a 5...but get mad at a woman for doing the same thing.

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    • You know the irony of what you said? :P

      "I know guys who will date unattractive girls but that's because they are realistic enough to know that they can't do better."

      Right there, you're judging them and, likely, based on something shallow yourself like their appearance. Hah. Then again, I could be wrong, their personality could suck and they know it. But that's usually not the case.

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    • Ya I still would have said that's shallow. I'm fairly consistent tbh in my views.

    • As for the question? If I was thinking at it logically and from my view point, ya I think he could get her. If the personality matches well and they enjoy each others company. Just like I think an "unattractive" girl could get an "attractive" guy. The thing is, looking at it from society's mindset, no. See, as I said before, Society is in general way too f***ing shallow. But it's how we're all raised. Considering we're bombarded with this sh*t in the media.

  • I think it depends on what you mean by shallow.

    Back in high school, both guys and girls were only concerned by appearance and dating the cool kids, etc. But now in college, I've noticed the guys are still quite shallow about appearance, going after the hot girls only. But girls aren't focusing so much on appearance anymore, but more on education, degrees, jobs, potential income in other words.

    So if your definition of shallow is appearance, then guys.

    But if you're talking about material goods, the definitely definitely girls.

    But overall, I would say girls are more shallow because going after the rich guys is much worse than just going after the hot girls in my opinion

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    • They both suck :\ stupid cause if the riches are gone she'll leave the guy and looks always fade so guy will likely leave or cheat on her.

    • I completely agree. Judging someone on either one of those is not that smart but that's just the way it seems to be

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