We had an eye lock, then things got really strange!

A few weeks ago I caught the bus home from work . The only other passenger was a cute guy who I've seen most days on that bus for about nine months . I find him attractive but I had never flirted with him , just enjoyed having a bit of eye candy around :)

This particular day I was walking towards him and he was staring into my eyes . He was sat in a rigid position with no expression on his face , staring . I got locked onto his eyes and we kept staring at each other until I passed him . His pupils were so big that I couldn't see his actual eye color it was as if he actually had black eyes . He wasn't just zoning out he was totally focused .

I thought " well that was strange , I wonder what that was about ?"

The next day I was behind him waiting to get on the bus . He turned round saw me and totally freaked out . He couldn't get away from me fast enough .

The next day I was beginning to worry about catching the bus in case the same thing happened . This time he caught my eye and gave me a nervous smile ( one half of his mouth smiling , the other half twitching ) I gave him a bit of a nervous smile back because I was surprised that he'd done that .

After that day I didn't see him for about a month which was unusual .

A few days ago I got on the bus and he was on it . I sat on the seat next to his but on the opposite side of the bus . He looked across then jerked his head away in a total panic . He didn't look back round just kept looking out of the window .

This made me really worried and a bit angry really because he was making me feel worried about doing such a mundane thing as catching a bus . I decided to speak to him and try and break the ice . I leaned over and asked him his name . He looked really scared but he told me . I introduced myself and said hello . Then he jerked his head away and frantically messing with his phone and fidgeting . I thought " I've tried and failed " and decided to give it one more day and then start to catch a different bus .

The next day I was waiting for the bus when I saw him walking towards me . He stopped for a second to compose himself then as he walked past me he said hello and smiled and walked a bit further down the bus station . I felt really relieved and glad that he'd done that . I could tell that he'd found it difficult to do .

For the last few days when I've seen him he's said hello and smiled and he looks a bit more relaxed than he did . We haven't gone any further than hello and smiling but I'm just pleased that we've got that far .

I'd love to know what you all think about all this ( the eye lock and the oddness afterward !)

Strangely I've found myself a lot more attracted to him since all this has happened . I'd love to get o talk to him properly but for now I'm happy to keep things as they are and see if we just get chatting if he starts to feel more comfortable near me .

Thanks for reading this and I'd be really grateful if you let me know what you think :)

Updates:
Thanks , even if it doesn't work :D
I was on the bus going home last night he was sitting on the back seat with a guy he works with . I sort of nodded " hi " to him and sat in my usual place about half way down thebus . I could hear part of the conversation which was about an argument with a wife/girlfriend ( I'm not sure which , he used a local term which could mean either ) . I don't know if it was him or the other guy . Would that explain his behavior ?


I don't know his voice well enough to know if it was him and one guy was doing most of the talking . From the way he was talking he sounded really angry and like it was a serious argument , not just something and nothing .


Would this explain some of what has happened ? Maybe he's having a bad time with his S.O. , has a good look at me because I'm around a lot and possibly available and then panics because he has taken it further than he intended . ( I noticed he was looking ) .


Help ! :D
the day I posted the last update I saw him on the bus . He said hi and I just made a comment about somebody who had been on the bus the day before . he laughed and we got chatting . The next day he sat near me but didn't talk much . I thought that maybe he didn't want to talk to me anymore . Today he walked straight up to me and started talking straight away . We had a conversation that lasted about 45 minutes . He pretty much told me his life story .
He was talking really fast . I asked one of the guys I work with about this ( he's really shy with women , his wife sked him out ) . He said that he thinks the fast talking is because he is trying to say all the things he's imagined saying to me in one conversation . It turns out that I got it wrong about the argument . He has been having problems with his ex wife and that's what he was talking about . In fact he made a big point of letting me know that . Maybe he realized that I'd heard .
There are other things I'd like to tell people who have helped me so far but I'm not allowed to post pivate messages at the moment . I would like to say thanks to the lovely guys who have helped me .

I think things have got to the point where I will just stupid if I ask more questions , I'm stupid ...but even I get the message now !

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's been watching you "from afar" for awhile is my guess but he's terminally shy. He's really into you so if you're into him, think about being a bit more assertive over time. I'm the assertive sort so if a girl showed that kind of interest in me, I'd probably plop down next to her and say something like, "If I have this wrong I apologize in advance but I feel some chemistry with you and all this beating around the bush is killing me!" and see what happened. I don't think a gal should take that direct an approach but maybe you can dress for him, i.e. more feminine and free. For me, the big turn on is stiletto pumps but you may not be into those. I can tell you that virtually all men love them. Mae West once said, "A woman in red stiletto pumps can make a man bark!" and she was absolutely correct. You don't have to wear them all day. Change when you're off the bus but put on a little low key show for him. A little prance and strut your stuff can work wonders once he gets over being tongue tied. You know what you look hot in. Wear it for him, smile, and look open and welcoming. I'm guessing he'll bite (maybe even literally ;)) Good luck.

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    • Thanks :) He only seems to act like this with me . I've seen him chatting to other people ( men and women ) and he seems comfortable not shy . I'm wondering if because of the eye lock thing he feels embarrassed and that I maybe think he's weird or creepy ?

    • I'm sure he's concerned with your impression but I think moving things along gently is a good idea.

What Guys Said 4



  • There is nothing strange with this. He is just afraid of doing things wrong with you; and that just shows how much he is attracted to you. Just make some small talk (he won't do it himself). Ask him if he comes from work, where he works, etc. It should be cool. Don't make it a big deal. Don't watch him straight in the eyes too often to make it seems like a casual conversation. He will get more and more comfortable with you.

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    • Thanks :) Actually I think I might be OK with the casual conversation thing . Usually I find it difficult to be calm around someone I really like . His nervousness seems to have calmed me down . I suppose all he's been doing is a super extreme version of what I normally do when I have a crush :D

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    • At least now that we can at least say hi , I can catch the bus without worrying what freaky thing he's going to do next :D

      I don't know for certain that he has a girlfriend but it seems safest to assume that he has . I still think that he likes me but people are attracted to other people when they are already in a relationship especially if things aren't 100% great . So I'll just keep things friendly and try to remeber that just because somebody shows interest it doesn't mean they're available



    • Yes this is hard to remember since we like to play the game. But I bet you won' have troubles to find another one, right? I mean, if he was interested there are probably other men like him looking for women like you. At least I hope so ;) I wish you the best of luck!

      Alexis

  • ok take it from this guy ;). the big pupils is a sign of attraction. and I'm pretty sure that the situation became very intense for him since he decided to hide his face. so every time he saw you, that's the main thing running through his brain. so he would be self-conscience and think that he would mess up in a conversation. but if you were to initiate more of the conversation and make him feel that he can talk to you without a hassle then you're set. hope this helps.

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    • Thanks Jaleel :) I'd like to be able to talk to him but at the moment just saying hi is a major breakthrough and I don't want to freak him out again ! Should I just take it gently ? Maybe instead of just saying hi should I say hi and ask him if he had a good weekend ? Something where he has to answer ?

    • yes I would suggest that and start with small talk. and work your way up. and I'm definitely sure that your pupils will grow three times the size of his when you begin to have full on conversations and begin to learn about him. :D

    • When we had the eye lock everything seemed to go very bright . I assume that that WAS my pupils growing to three times the size of his :D

  • Ok, I'm glad for you. I actually thought it was strange that a man who is involved in flirting with a woman would let her hear a conversation about his current S.O. As regards him talking fast, it is pretty common for a shy person to do this. The fear of not appearing interesting enough would make him try to pretend that he is talkative, outgoing and socially comfortable (if that makes sense). Did he seem uncomfortable? (Also you said "he's really shy with women , his wife sked him out ". Are you talking about him or your coworker?)

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    • It was my co worker who was asked out by his wife . When you say "uncomfortable" , do you mean like he didn't really talk to me? Or that maybe he was 100% relaxed like he was just chatting to someone at work , someone who's opinion didn't really matter to him ?

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    • I hope I'm right . It's certainly made my trips to work a lot more interesting :D Enjoy The movie !

    • I didn't really enjoy the movie. Most movies this year aren't worth it. But I enjoyed the night, thanks.

      Well I guess it made your trips more interesting indeed, you seem to work quite far from your home. I wish you the best! We stay in touch ;)

  • Such a strange story -- what came of it?

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    • Ha ha , it's still ongoing :)

      link

      That's the latest installment . I've been on holiday from work this week so I haven't seen him since . I'm on the same shift as him on Monday . I'm torn between confronting him about it and maybe just catching a different bus and avoiding him . I don't think he has control of his moods from one day to the next but I think he really does like me .

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    • Wow, I see that was really recent. Too bad, because obviously you were drawn to him. That coffee situation was quite strange.

      Do you really have to avoid him? Can you just not enter into conversation?

    • I don't think he can control how he is . When he's in a good mood I know he really likes me and I think it's a romantic thing with him not just as a friend . When his mood changes he starts to push me away . I haven't known him very long so it's difficult not to take the pushing away personally . I don't think he's a player but the way he acts seriously upsets me . Next time I see him he might be distant or he might be really pleased to see me , I never know from day to day which it will be .

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