How do I stop caring that he's average looking?

In the past, I've only ever dated guys that are a little above average looking. Guys that loads of girls want to get with, or when I show pictures people are like "Oh, he's really good looking!"

I'm currently seeing this guy who I'm absolutely crazy about.

Now, please don't get me wrong, I am really not vain.

It's just, when I showed my best friend photos of this guy she said "Oh.. these aren't very good pictures of him, are they?" and I could tell by her voice that she thought I could "do better" or that he was unattractive.

He's the kind of guy that's average looking in the sense that he isn't the best looking guy, but his personality improves his appearance because he's just so popular, funny, intelligent and a genuinely nice guy.

I really am crazy about this guy, and he's into me also. I'm just worried about what my friends and peers will say behind my back - will they think I'm just "settling" for this guy, or think that I'm "desperate"? I don't want people thinking that. Because I DO really like this guy.

How can I STOP CARING about what other people say, and stop thinking about how average looking he is?


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Most Helpful Guy



  • Unlike other people, I think that it's fairly normal to care about what people think. Those who say it doesn't matter are lying to themselves.

    But the fact of the matter here is that they only saw his picture. They don't know him personally like you do. Chances are that they will feel the same thing about him than you. I mean, you admit that he isn't a gorgeous guy, so what they are saying isn't surprising. But we are not rating a face year. Let them know the real guy and they will know you you would actually have a hard time "doing better".

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    • Thanks, you're so right with this one. He's a lovely guy, and I know that'll they'll see that too - who cares what he looks like. How he looks in my eyes is all that really matters anyway... :P

What Guys Said 1

  • Who cares what they say behind your back? They are a bunch of stuck up pricks if they can't be happy for you that you found someone who is good to you and you care about.

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    • You're totally right. If they really cared they'd appreciate how happy I am with him, and how good he is to me... especially since the "good looking" guys were absolute pricks.

    • Looks don't last forever. Then the girls who end up with those pricks will not only be married to a prick, they'll be married to an ugly prick.

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't understand...as long as you are into him and he's a good guy, why does it matter what others say? Looks don't last forever you know. If he's sweet and cares about you, then I wouldn't call that settling.

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  • who cares.. seriously. If you like him and he likes you then do your thing, if they're your "friends" and they're going to judge, and talk sh*t behind your back then I would consider what kind of friends they are.

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  • You shouldn't care what people think. If you like this guy, what other people think wouldn't really matter. When it comes down to it, good looks only last you a couple of years then eventually your body takes control and you age. Things like personality, interests, and character are what you should judge someone on because most likely you won't be able to change a man. So, like him because of him & screw what everyone else thinks.

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  • you should starting out by saying i know he isn't the best looking guy, but i really love him and he is the sweetest guy ever
    i have the same problem

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  • You're not vain? Sweetie, you're the very definition of vain. And it's a little bit pathetic that you're online acting this question to a bunch of strangers. You'll never stop caring, and I don't say that to be mean, but that's just who you are and probably who you always will be because deep down, you're also thinking you can do better.

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    • Sorry, but what dictionary are YOU referring to? Because I'm pretty certain that vanity is along the lines of being conceited, and valuing yourself highly.

      And yes, you are being mean. I asked an honest question looking for a non-judgemental answer, and you couldn't even muster up the braincells to do so.

      I'm on this site looking for advice, but what are YOU doing? Slightly hypocritical, love.

    • she is a little bit mean, but also a little bit right imo. I mean obviously you are thinking you can do better (cause if this was the best you could do, you would be content). And since you think you can do better, this implies some degree of vainity (I wouldn't say you are the definition however). but ya, didn't really need to call her pathetic haha

    • I do see where you're coming from, I does appear like I'm unhappy with the way he looks, but it's not that at all... I don't think I can do better! I think I'm lucky to get this guy, as he truly is fantastic. But I just don't want to feel bad for being crazy about a guy that my peers think isn't worthy, when I know he is.

      Urgh. I really shouldn't care what they think. But you can't honestly say that you haven't succumb to peer pressure...

  • I recently dated a guy who was below average looking and I get hit on by hot guys all the time so no could understand why I liked him. I didn't care what anybody thought, I adored him. Ironically, he turned out to be the biggest douche ever. LOL

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