youtube tutorias, make up magazines and things like that.
Plus there is always trial and error.
For me I use to buy all types of lipsticks and none of them really stayed. Youtube (from Michelle Phan) helped me realize that you just need a lip liner and then lip gloss on top and that's how it stays. So that's how I do my lips.
I'm super pale too! I usually wear blush and highlighter. I like the ones from NARS. Blend from the temples to the apples of your cheeks and use the highlight on the tops of your cheek bones. It makes you look so much healthier! Some color to the lips helps a lot too.