My brother gets all the girls and I get nothing?

My brother is very attractive and girls swarm him all the time. He's had a bunch of girlfriends and slept with almost 100 different woman. I'm thirty and he's just three years older than me. I've only had one girlfriend my entire life, and only slept with one person. It makes me feel like a looser because I haven't had a girlfriend in two years and I am very lonely and depressed about it. It's like nobody wants me, and I can't help but feel jealous and worthless. What's so wrong with me, why do I always have to be alone. Can anyone feel my sorrow?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The real question is do you want to be a player or in an actual relationship. Why envy your brother? I mean yeah he has had over a 100 women, but did any of them truly love him for him? Or just for his looks?

    Trust me I've had envy before, but in the end I learned there was nothing to be jealous about because I am my own person.

    You need some confidence for one. Never doubt yourself or talk down on yourself.

    When it comes down to it what's better. One woman who truly love you or a hundred women who want you for your family jewels?

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What Girls Said 4

  • I can feel your sorrow. I don't have a sister, but I have a cousin who grew up as my neighbor and basically took the role of a sister in my life. She is not especially more beautiful then I am, but we are completely different as personalities. I am more introverted and she is 100% extroverted, I'm sort of nerdy, shy around guys I like, and tomboyish, while she is very princess like, sometimes ditsy and easygoing.. 90% of the guys that met both of us went after her. I use to feel depressed because I felt like next to her I seem pathetic, and no guy will look at me when she is around. But I would never break my bonds with her, because despite our differences and occasional bickering, she is the best friend I have, the only person I trust.

    I forced myself to stop comparing myself to her. I hated the jealousy I felt because I love her very much.

    So I accepted myself, I started working on being more relaxed around guys and asked her for a couple of socialization and fashion tips. I must say I had 8 guys ask me out in past two months. (This is not a really good thing for me, because being more outgoing still didn't make the guy I really like pay attention to me.)

    Do you want many girlfriends so you can sleep with them and dump them, or are you looking for actual relationship? If you find someone who likes you, why should you care about your brother's "numbers"?

    -You say your brother is successful with the ladies. Well ask him what's he's secret. Go out with him and stand confident next to him. Join forces and ask him not to grab all of the attention. If he is a good brother he will help you find a girl.

    -The only other choice is, stay away from him as much as possible. Meet girls on your own with separate social groups and separate yourself from him enough to stop caring about he's life. This will be easier way out of your insecurity, but you might worsen your relationship with your brother.

    Depending how much you care about your brother, you will be able to choose between the two.

    PS. Is your brother's name Barney Stinson by any chance? xD

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  • your brother should share...

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  • Observe your brother and analyze the things that he does that are different from you. Adopt the things that makes him attractive to women and incorporate it into yourself

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  • ...

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What Guys Said 7

  • Dude. Stop living in your brothers shadow. Find out who you are. Stop worrying about who he has slept with or how many. Maybe once you know yourself you can start your own tally. Anyway here comes the advice:

    By the age of 30 you should have at least know the basics of who YOU are as a person. It seems that you still have a journey to go on. Once you know the basics of yourself you can start to work on self improvement. Here come some tips:

    Brothers usually look like each other so check out your similarities and try to get a heads up on the kinds of compliments he gets from women and the things women like about his features. If you look nothing alike then you are on your own. In this case try to see the things in yourself that make you attractive to women. This comes with confidence. If you have none then try looking at yourself in the mirror from a different aspect. Ask yourself what you find attractive about your features. Once you have these answers you can "dress those features up". I do not mean this in a literal sense! Lets say you have a good physic but tend to cover up, then get tighter fitting t-shirts/shirts. If you have eyes that say come to bed but wear thick rimmed glasses then think about laser eye or contacts, at the very least get glasses that suit your face.

    Try also working on your wardrobe and self image. Find clothes that work for you and that you feel comfortable in. Try to stay away from Slacks such as Tracky bottoms etc unless you are going ot the Gym. Smart Casual is best, after all no one likes a scruff

    Make sure that you clean regularly. Fresh breath is key as well as a nice body spray and or Eau de toilette. Hair is also an important factor. If you have the cash a stylist may be able to suggest a style that would suit your face but always be sure that the hair is a style that you would be comfortable with. The key here is not losing yourself.

    There is a lot to be said for going out feeling a million dollars - new hair style and new outfit, smelling great. That feeling will rub off on others as you will walk taller, smile more and appear more confident. Try to make eye contact with females as you walk past feeling like this; see if you can see a reaction.

    Finally most Girls love expression. If you feel that it is you, Invest in a tattoo. Most girls love a tattoo. I have witnessed fairly ugly guys get a Tattoo sleeve and some fresh clothes and become fanny magnets overnight. Having said this it will not work for everyone!

    Anyway I have given you this advice in the hope that it makes you happier If you want to shag as many girls as you can then go for it however it doesn't make you happy. Sure...(cont...)

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    • (Continued)... it boosts your confidence for a while. Makes you feel good. But if you have any kind of conscience then your conscience will catch up with you. Then the hurt you cause to some of these women will start eating you up. Especially when you find someone who is worth spending your life with but you end up losing them because you...

    • ... you can?t keep it in your pants as believe me, you can easily lose yourself and become a monster. Most guys in this situation love the attention but most aren?t really happy. They too strive for a relationship, a sense of belonging. These guys are quite sad IMO

      Just stick to your moral code. If you are against cheating and lying for example - Please do not lose these traits just to get a Girl into bed. YOU WILL REGRET IT. Much Love. Swagger

  • quality over quantity, I don't think 100 women is neccesarily something to envy, the idea that "no one wants you " is probably all in your head, but you don't want yourself or your life so how would you expect a girl to , why not do stuff with your life career wise or hobby wise that makes you go like yo this is pretty cool, because chances are a girl will feel the same ..also you do know you have to approach girls right they aren't going to come to you 99 times out of 100, I would suggest reading "the game" by neil strauss, its not some corny self help book its a guys first hand account of how he transformed himself into the greatest pickup artist alive and breaks seduction down to a science, which is interesting and makes it seem a lot less foriegn

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    • i agree with everything but the neil straus book. that guy is still horrible at women and his book isn't any good. Lookup david x or alan rodger curry instead, those guys are for real.

  • stop feeling sorry for yourself. Its not gonna help you at all. The reason your brother gets them is his confidence, and you on the other hand are unconfident which is why you haven't had much success

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  • confidence chief! girls love it just ask your brother lol but forreal get some tips off that dude

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  • you might as well quit right now- because your attitude is crap.

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  • at least you have had one girlfriend and slept with one girl, I haven't even had one and I am still a virgin, not by choice either... Maybe you should get pointers from your braaaaa. If he is really good looking like you say, then you probably can't do much about it, except to work out. Personaity wise, you could change that, get your braaa to help you out.

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  • Maybe you should get some pointers from your brother so you'll be better at getting women.

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