How to look/ be less aloof?

I had that problem my whole life.

People never make the first move. I always have to make the first move. I try to smile and be nice but nothing really helps.

Guys never approach me, only some random on the streets lol

When I ask my friends why I look like that they say that people are intimidated my your looks ( not being covky but I do look ok).

But I thought that attractive people get approached more. Bit in my case its not true. Even the not so attractive friends of mine all have bfs and aren't virgins.

What am I doing wrong?


Most Helpful Guy

  • being attractive can be very intimidating to guys, they sometimes think that you already have a boyfriend, and don't bother taking the risk.

    i know a few girls in my grade that never had a boyfriend and they are very attractive, and I rarely see guys talking to them (I am going into junior year)

    alot of guys don't want to get shot down by approaching the really attractive girl- even though they really have nothing to lose.

    consider that.

    and by approaching the guys, it shows confidence, which is a major turn on, and that you're showing an interest in them.

    when you approach them, you will probably stick in their minds.

    i know that happens to me.


What Guys Said 1

  • Don't pressurise yourself. Don't try too hard. Strangely, I was so aloof from the girls that some of my friends that I was gay! Then, after awhile, things changed, and after a certain age, a number of girls started showing an interest.

    I think it has something to do with age, who else is playing the field, and what's the competition like, and how the others perceive you.

    Unfortunately society still judges males on the basis of their earning capacity, and women on their looks. We shouldn't fall into this trap. I made use of the time I got (with less feminine attention) to build myself into a better person, as someone else advices you! Go for it... you won't regret.


What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe you're not doing anything wrong. Be yourself. Love yourself. Put yourself in situations to meet people; take a class that interests you, travel, and eventually you will meet someone. Men who approach you randomly will only be into your looks anyway, and you don't want that. You want someone who is into for you; whose had a couple of conversations with you- has an idea of what you're about. Hope this helps!

    • Thank you very much!