I haven't been single long- since Oct. I've started to go out more regularly and mingling, mainly going to bars and clubs. I personally do not see myself as attractive, I'd say I was average looking and dress nicely. I am ready to date but all I seem to attract are guys that at 35 seem way too young to date me and even after I reveal how old I am they still want to take my number and pursue me for a date. What gives? I don't understand why guys so young would be interested in me and the places I go to are full of guys my age but they don't even look in my direction!
my ex of 17 years was 20 years older than me so I guess guys in their 20-29 range seem really young to me.
Welcome to the new world of dating :) I became single at the age of 42 after 13 years of marriage and mostly all I ever had approach me were 20' somethings. So, here is the scoop:
1. There are a lot more unattached 20 somethings than any other age range for men. As I dated more I found that 20 somethings were plentiful, 30 somethings almost non-existent (I think most of them just got married and are starting families) and 40 and over had a certain amount of guys who had recently divorced, were completely burnt out on the idea of a relationship and were only looking for casual hookups. Not all guys over 40 were like that, of course, but those that were clearly were out of touch with all the 20 something guys available for "fun" if that was really what we wanted.
2. 20 something guys tend to pursue a lot due to the lure of sex with an older woman, not because they see us as relationship material. My belief is that guys are always looking for surefire ways to get sex. One theory is that older women are constantly horny and don't want relationships, so all they will expect from you is to sleep with them. Lame, I know, but I have heard this propounded as the "Cougar" way.
3. Of the 20 somethings that would like a relationship, some want a strong female partner who will care for them, not necessarily financially, but emotionally. Finally, there are a few (usually at the older end) who would like a relationship and prefer older women because they feel we are less dramatic and more self-sufficient. Some guys are just programmed to be more physically attracted to an older woman.
We cannot control who we attract, we can only choose those from that group that work for us. I personally have enjoyed dating and having a relationship with men younger than me as long as they are mature beyond their years and not looking for a mommy replacement. It is up to you to decide what works for you. Good luck!
Beats me, unlike what Eric_11 said, some guys chase after "cougars" because they think are more sexually active and think that "cougars" want to have a fling with a younger guy? I don't know if its a fantasy or not, but that's my only guess. Majority of the men that look at you are probably attracted to you or think they have a better shot getting laid that way. Unfortunetly its rare that a young man who is 20 will date a 34 year old, but then again, there is no limit when it comes to love, so anything is possible.
Joe college will chase more beauties after studies/sports/parties - all night long! Your age is not out of their range, my dear. The models & stewardesses I've dated all had this problem.
30-somethings are the American workhorses, trying to pay bills, get promoted, doing ALL the grunt work the company hates to do & self-promoted themselves out. Most of these guys have already been captured, most too tired to chase you, married or not. I'm afraid you'll have to whistle them over like a construction worker does gals on the sidewalk to make the most desireable connections. On the other hand, if you can dance, golf, tennis, swim, etc. often enough - you just might BUMP INTO (hint - literally) someone of same interests. Join a country club?
Some guys find older women hot. Now you're pretty young to be considered an "older woman" by many standards, but not based on the guys you have been meeting. Nobody is too young to date you except for those who fall past a certain age limit that you yourself have set. It also sounds like you're more attractive than you let on.
ur obviously attracting younger guys meaning your good looking! I guess a lot of young guys really like mature women instead of their own age then again everyones is different I know I'm 22 & I'm really attracted to older guys like 25-27 I don't know I just like how they are more mature than guys my age ...overall age is only a number its the chemistry that matters!
For some reason (not sure exactly, I'm not a guy lol) guys just seem to like to pursue girls and women that are older than them. My boyfriend is younger than me, and my mom has dated men that are younger than her for some time now. I think it might just be the fact that the older girl has more experience and knows what she's doing. Or it could be that they appear to have more of a mystery too them, and the guy wants to see what all they know? LOL hope this helped!