would you do it just for him, because you love him
to make things clearer, I won't do such thing just to control her, I don't have this kind of problems, and it also depends on where we were going, dressing for the movies is different from dressing to a party, plus I'm not gonna tell her: hey girl! listen from now on you're not wearing these clothes anymore. NO, I'll sit with her and explain to her why I'm asking this from her, so that she'll be understanding and compliant,
another thing is that some of you girls said that why would he ask you to do this after dating for a long time, well for me I would ask her this from the beginning. also some of you said why would I date her from the beginning, as I said to "knowmeyourself" some girls are great from every aspect except the way they dress, it doesn't suit me or my community,
oops, updated twice the same thing, anyway in case not all of you girls read the guys answers, well take a look on them, specially the dudes who answered anon (with long answers) and "FrancoBattiato", actually they helped in expressing my point of view,
you girls don't know how we guys think, it's not just a matter of pursuiting the trend, there's more into it, and for the girls who answered with Yes (they would change), I tell you your boyfriends are lucky to have you :)
OMG why do people keep repeating the word CONTROLLING! if a man doesn't like the way his woman dresses in a particular time doesn't mean he is controlling. it means he cares for her. A controlling man would be someone who would force you to do something.
If my man wanted to come outside shirtless, or topless I would immediately ask him to put on a shirt or t-shirt. WHY? I don't want him bothering the eyes of single women out there who can't get a man who is attractive. I also don't want women drooling over him. and I don't want him attracting unwanted attention.
Obviously for a man, there is more to what I just said above. they are men, they are hardwired to protect their woman.
Girls if your boyfriend asked you to dress more conservatively, would you do it for him? No
would you do it just for him, because you love him? No and if love is his bs excuse to guilt trip me into following his controlling behavior I'd inform him I shouldn't have to change myself or do things to suit him to prove my love right before dumping him
Then I'd laugh because guys are always whining about how girls try to change them LMAO XD
If you're dating me, you're dating me for me and if you don't like it you don't like me - and they way I dress is a part of who I am.
But honestly it's hard for me to say because although I don't dress conservatively, I don't dress at all provocatively either, so if a guy asked me to change the way I dress; I'd worry mostly that he had serious paranoia issues.
But that aside, I wouldn't do it because I don't feel that they way I dress is in any way indecent, or demeaning of our relationship in terms of me outwardly trying to attract other men.
That being said, if I put on something to go out in - and my 'boyfriend' asked me to change because it was a bit revealing. Then sure, probably I would. I wouldn't mind a guy having a problem with me wearing certain things at certain times - but if he asked me to completely change the way I dressed at all times, then no, I wouldn't do it.
yes. because it makes sense. no guy wants his prize showin off her bod to the rest of the world. it's his now. if any girl doesn't agree - think of it this way... if your man was walkin around with his shirt off in front of all these people, would you like it? absolutely not. so ;P
I might humor him a little bit, within reason, just because I like making my dude happy and I value his feelings. I occasionally wear certain things I own more often just because I know he likes them. But at the end of the day, I wear what I want/like and I don't need anyone's permission to do it because I'm an adult, and my own person. He knew how I dressed when he decided to date me.
That being said though, my dude doesn't have any issues with what I wear, no matter how much leg I'm showing, or if you can see a little cleavage. He likes and comments on my quirky clothing choices, lol. So this isn't really a problem for me. And I don't dress all that provocatively anyway. Like my boobs aren't popping out all over the place, and I only have bare legs when I wear shorts. With skirts, especially short ones, I pretty much always wear tights of some sort. I'm not a big fan of totally exposing my body to strangers, lol.
If she dresses like some skank and looks like she's dressed to go clubbing all the time, then I wouldn't be surprised if he expected that of her. Have any of you seen what some girls wear out and about? It's not about fashion, it's dressing like a hooker to go grocery shopping. Some girls take "slutty" and confuse it with "cute."
However, if she wears something decent and it happens to show off a little cleavage, so what?
It would really depend on what she's actually wearing that you consider "provocative" and what you consider conservative. It you mean going from skanky to more modest and classy, then I'd think it would be a reasonable request. However, if she's dressed relatively well and you expect her to go nun status, eff that noise.
If he asked for me to stop wearing powdered sugar...I will have to get a divorce...because that wouldn't seem like the guy I loved before. It is like he would be trying to change who I am...But he already knows..I love wearing powdered sugar...so it would seem odd.
Nope and I'd be worried if he had jealousy issues. However, you could say, "Hun, what you're wearing is so hot! You should seriously consider toning it down otherwise I'll have a really hard time paying attention to you instead of your hot body when we are dating.". She'll get the point and you won't seem insecure/ controlling.
On the one hand, I'd hate to think that my boyfriend is trying to control me. I like how I dress (which isn't particularly provocative to begin with) and don't think I need to change it. But, at the same time, I don't want to make someone I care about uncomfortable. If he told me about why he was uncomfortable with the way I dress and what he wants me to change, and I found it reasonable - yes, I would do it for him.
However, if he expects me to dress like a nun then I'd tell him no. When I go out I dress up. I don't do it for looks or attention, I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to get dolled up every now and then. I'd want my partner to know that I am in a relationship with him, and at the end of the day it's him I'm coming home to. I don't flirt nor encourage flirting, I just wear what I want and pay no mind to what other people think of me.
There is a lot more to me than the way I dress, so I wouldn't think he's trying to "change me". I'd just be wary of how far he'd take it if I allowed this concession.
that would depend on the extent to which he meant conservitive I'm not going to start wearing turtleneck shirts and long sleeves with baggie pants all the time to keep myself covered but if its with in reason then of course I would.
even if I love the guy, if it's for insecurity reasons and/or the fact that he doesn't trust me to ignore other guys and he doesn't realize that if I am dressing a certain provocative way, it's for HIM and not anyone else, then that's his problem. I don't dress that way, but if I started dating a guy I really liked, I would show off my curves and stuff whenever I'm out with him, for him. If he doesn't like that because of untrue reasons, then he isn't the guy for me.
however, if he just wants to see me dress a certain way because he likes it better and he thinks I look better in it, (depending on how he puts it), I would be willing to make compromises and dress a little more for his liking.
If I get anymore conservative I'll be wearing a burqa, so no.
if he asked me to, I don't know if I'd change my ENTIRE wardrobe, it depends what I was wearing at the time, where I was going and if I felt like it or not. it depends on what he's talking about. my version of his "provocative" could differ from his. I had one boyfriend who would get mad if I wore makeup, spent time on my hair or wore cute clothes when he wasn't with me. that wasn't cool and I didn't change then.
I honestly don't care. Sometimes I ask my husband to dress me and he picks out his favorite shirt I wear or a favorite jacket he likes seeing me in. I otherwise dress for a work place all the time. I work almost every day and yes I'll dress it up a bit if I know I am having date night right after work otherwise it's pants or capris
Mmm. If I had a boyfriend and he asked me to dress more conservatively, I'd probably want to talk and find out exactly what he wants. I would respect him a hell of a lot more if he sat me down to talk about it first.
I don't think I'll ever have that problem, though. I am as modest as can be whilst still flattering my body. Honestly, I'd be more concerned about *him* showing more skin than myself.
I'm a recovering compulsive picker, so, I really can't have my skin showing much.
My boyfriend HAS asked me to do this...it's just that he's asked me to change a lot of other things, too, so I feel like he's being too controlling. So my answer is no. I don't think he should want to change me. I don't dress extremely provocatively, but I like to look good, and sometimes I just want to wear a pair of yoga pants. I don't think the way I dress is un-tasteful, so I don't want to change.
Nope, he chose me, clothes and all. I guess if it's been more than a year, but then again why would he ask me to change after all that time? I don't like being controlled and I love how I dress, if he 'loved me' (which I think is a bs argument) he would let me dress how I want. Ya know it's funny how the guys are saying they're 'just clothes', if that's the case then why make us change them :)
Probably not... It has nothing to do with how much I love him, it's just that whatever reason he has for wanting me to dress more conservatively is probably immature. We could sort it out in a way that doesn't involve me being controlled. If he's feeling jealous or insecure, dressing more conservatively is only a temporary solution. You've got to get to the root of the problem.
I already dress modestly/conservatively, so that wouldn't be an issue.
I'm also not one to be controlled. I wouldn't enter into a relationship with someone and then try to change how they dress or their style, so why would I allow someone to do what I wouldn't? So no. Although again, it's not an issue for me because I don't believe in dressing provocatively
if I dressed like a skank in order to get boyfriends and I now had a boyfriend, id dress down for him. if I dressed like a skank because I love male attention in general regardless of my boyfriend status, then id continue dressing skanky. I'm assuming your girl dressed a bit provocative eh?
Yes. But I would want to know the exact reasons as to why they way I dress concerns him. If it's because he thinks I'm trying to attract other men, I would be disgusted that he would have such a low opinion of me. If it is simply because he finds me more attractive in more , or he is concerned for my public appearance, I would take note.
A lot of the girls answers here are the typical feminist response they've been programmed with these days. I have once asked my girl to wear jeans instead of a skirt. She asked why and I just said it'd make me feel better. Now immediately I bet you think it's primitave jealousy or trying to 'change you' (they're f***ing clothes, grow up, you wear a suit to a job interview). She said yes without any more questions but if she did ask I would have told her the truth.
It wasn't to control her, or to 'change her' (still laughing at the bs of that lol), it was to protect her. Like a man is supposed to do of his woman. No, I do not agree that a woman is responsible if she gets raped while wearing something very provocative, but if you think that wearing that provocative thing isn't increasing your chances of rape then you are mentally retarded. I asked her to wear jeans because it'd be a lot easier for a rapist to get at a girl wearing a skirt than a girl wearing jeans and that fact alone could deter someone. That is why it would make me feel better.
BA so all the moronic 'he's trying to change me' girls can see it.
hmmm good question...i know why you would ask that, so she doesn'get looked at and droolled over by other guys, totatlly understandable. Personally if she dressed slutty, I wouldn't be with her in the first place, so this wouldn't be an issue any ways. However if she asked me to do the same thing and if she could make a good argument about it, then I woud change clothes as well. There is nothing wrong with receiving constructive judgement and suggestions, the problem starts when she starts to boss me around and telling me what I should and I shouldn't do, my ex was like that and she was really annoying, my friend is like that too and she really pisses me off when she does that.
You say "love". If she really loved him, in the real sense of the word "love", then of course she'd do it. If she didn't really love him, then it's iffy. Some girls would change, others would think he was too controlling. If he had a good reason, she should change - like, if she dressed REALLY provocatively then she should change. She's not single and shouldn't be trying to get the attention of guys in a sexual way, just as neither person in the relationship should be flirting with other people. But if she wasn't really dressed that provocatively and just maybe showing a bit of thigh or cleavage, there's no reason to ask her to change and she probably wouldn't change. Hope that makes sense.
If you would like to have her do something for you, you should not use your love for her to threaten her in order to do it. The correct way to go about this would be to simply say, "I don't feel comfortable going out with you like that". If she's compliant, she'll change. I guess what I'm saying is, say it at your own risk.
Would you girls get mad if your boyfriend checked out a girl who was dressed like a street walker? I'm sure you would. No woman dresses like that to be classy, they want the attention and if my attention isn't enough, then she can go and find it somewhere else. Its also funny when girls at clubs show all that cleavage and get pissed at guys for staring. Don't want unwanted attention? Then don't draw unwanted attention to youself.
I find most of the responses here funny. because over 50% of these woman most likely complain about their man looking and checking out and flirting with other woman. Why? Its because How they are f***ing dressed.
If you dress like a clubbing skank all the time and you have a Boyfriend then somethings wrong with you. Your purposely dressing that why because you like the attention you get. You shouldn't be with someone if you need attention from everyone else. And its even worse if you have male "friends" and dress like your single. Don't advertise if the shop is not open.