Can a brain be a bad accessory for a girl?

I struggle with dating men. I can meet a guy and have a great conversation with him and then when he asks what I do for a living and I tell him that I am an engineer, all of a sudden I can sense him looking at me differently and trying to remember the nearest escape route.

All of my brothers have wives that are less educated and also less independent needing their husbands to make all their decisions. They are sweet and innocent in that way and I think my brothers get a lot of pleasure out of fixing things for them.

What do you guys think about brainy girls who like to solve problems on their own? Do you get more turned on by a girl that needs your help or a girl that can carry her own weight in that regard?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys like a smart girl, most guys don't like a girl smarter than them. A lot of the guys here on the internet are going to like the smart girls, but when you talk to your average dude, they don't want to deal with a girl who makes them feel dumb. Maybe a fear of manipulation plays a part as well (girls tend to be manipulative, a smart manipulative girl can cause a lot of problems, it's happened to me before). This doesn't keep me away from them (I like smart girls personally) but in general most guys just don't say I want an engineer they say I want a model.

    It's not really a huge deal I don't think, it's not going to play more influence than the way you look or how fun you are with them, but it might be a slight turn off is all. Like I've heard friends bitch about how smart their girl gets on them sometimes, but I've never heard of a guy breaking up or something over intelligence alone.

    As far as independence vs dependence, I'd say dependence definitely makes us feel more like a man, but God it gets annoying for most of us. We don't like dealing with a lot of maintenance, so unless your guy just has to be some savior or something, he'll probably get tired of being needed all the time.

    Though I've done my best to dish out how I've understood this so far, look hard at the answers by the guys who say they don't like intelligence, their opinion should reflect on your average dude a lot more.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I believe some men still believe in the old fashion style of how a man and woman should cope with each other. The men do the work, pay the bills, perform the physical labor, while the women cook, clean, perform household chores. It's common for couples to have the opposite of each others role, or even both. I for one, am not particulary sided with either choice, but it looks like your going to have to find the guy who thinks the girl should have a say in her 'role'(I don't like using that word but I can't think of any other one to describe it's terms at the moment.)

    Some guys will prefer the old fashion way of doing things. Other guys will appreciate the fact that you have brains and can hold your own grounds. I know my answer kind of slided off track of your question but I didn't know how else to answer it. Overall, let's just say some men will be appreciative of you having some brains and being able to help them with their problem, and some men will think the opposite. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, the hard part for you is weeding out the men who are sided with you and who aren't. I'm sure theirs a good amount of men who will like the description that you described.

    Hope my answer made sense..sorry if it doesn't.

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    • Unfortunately for me, I totally agree with you about the damsel in distress image guys find attractive. Thanks for your honesty!

  • I'm intelligent and I can't stand dumb women, but I don't think this is normal. I agree with what Giddup and WayTooPopular said, but would add that it probably stems from a sexual aspect, because it is harder to create that dominance mentality in bed if you know she's more than you'll ever be. Anyone who complains about that would be someone you want to stay away from, because it's not hard to separate bedsheet mentalities from real life.

    But, as a man seeking intelligent women, I'm dying to know what kind of guy interests you?

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  • Intelligence is one of the top ten characteristics I look for in a women. Unfortunately crazy also seems to be one of my favorites, but that's not really important. I guess some guys with big fragile egos don't like women that have something interesting to say, but why would you want a guy like that?

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    • I also like a women that can look past my inability to type some things in their singular form. That would be a good women alright.

  • I would like to answer this question very simply. Most men are looking for smart women to marry and start a family. That said, men can feel empowered by having to help his girl...sort of a father type mentality.

    Most men like the classic dumb blonde for a random date or for sex.

    Anyway, there is nothing hotter than a smart and sexy girl for a lifelong relationship. Seems like you just haven't crossed the right guy. I am sure it will happen. Are you doing what you need to to make yourself available?

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    • Hey, not all blondes fit that "classic" genre. This brainy girl here is a blonde. : )

    • Oh, I realize that...I know smart blondes...I have one.

  • Okay, let us settle on some truths:

    Males like to be the apex of evolution, or rather would like to be at least seen as such

    Females wanna be loved

    Now, in any game, of power or not, it's always seen as a competitive advantage to pick an opponent with less of a chance at winning than a genuinely strong opponent.

    Insecure men will see the intelligent female as possibly better than them, and they know (or really believe) that others will see them as the inferiors they secretly see themselves as. So, brainy, or just powerful, chicks are then seen as smarter, but usually passed off with some unrelated title (she was a bitch, she was nerdy, etc) usually to disassociate and remove themselves from having to actually torture their brains and rationalize it.

    So, yes men find these women as threatening and to be avoided. but these men wouldn't be for you anyway so nature evens out.

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  • A brain is the best thing ANYONE, girl or not, can have. Since you're smart, it should be easy to realize that anyone who resents your intelligence is simply looking for a brainless slut, and is therefore not worth your time. Bottom line, KEEP THE BRAIN.

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  • A independent strong girl will take me over a weak needy one any day of the week. The fact that you are smart should be a turn on not a turn off for guys, especially since it means your able to hold your own.

    But each guy is different just like each girl is, I sure there are guys who want girls who need them for everything, just know we are not all like that =)

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  • Geez I would rather a girl with a 'brain' , I think most guys (well me and most of my friends) would all be happy with someone who is educated. I would not care if a girl more 'brains' then me. Everyone is different, and if a girl can solve her own problems, good on her. It is about personality as well. Personally I don't think you should worry about it too much, it is their loss, not yours at the end of the day, and probably has more to do with their own insecurities then yours.

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  • intelligence in a girl really doesn't matter one way or the other to me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • If you met guys like that they're probably very insecure about themselves and they feel deep inside (or even consciously) that you are far superior.

    My advice is to date men that are at least your equal.

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  • Guys who are looking for sex prefer dumb girls b/c they are easier to play. A smart girl is too much of a challenge for them

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