The man I'm seeing took me shopping yesterday. We had a great time...except that I found him gawking at a cute sales girl and later at a 20-yr old girl. I TOTALLY understand that men are visual and appreciate beauty. No problem...I do too...I check guys out all the time. But I do NOT gawk; take third, fourth and fifth glances. I am discreet and respectful. He doesn't even know I do it. But not him and it hurts me. It makes me feel insignificant and that I can't trust him. I already have a hard time trusting him…in fact we’re “trying” this together one more time (we’ve had some other issues).
Yeah, he is definitely doing something he shouldn't. You totally understand him being a guy behind all this, but to do it multiple times is embarrassing. I would NEVER be taking glances at other girls when I'm with a girl that I'm interested in. To me, that's just plain stupidity. When I'm with that special girl the last thing I want is for her to catch me looking elsewhere. I want to make her feel beautiful and special, I don't think I'm going to convey that to her when I'm gawking at other ladies. Not smooth at all.
I personally don't like it when men do this around me and we're in a relationship. I've tried different tactics but ultimately the one that worked best was when I told them flat out that I didn't care that they looked elsewhere but that it was disrespectful to ogle. Most of them got the message and ceased doing it. There were a few that didn't care and still did it (which in turn resulted in me dumping them).
I think it's disrespectful of him to do that and it would really annoy me. Personally, I'd do exactly the same and then he would realise what it's like. You should just talk to him and tell him how it makes you feel, if he still doesn't stop it then he doesn't deserve you. Good luck :)
if I were in your situation I'd jokingly tell him to be more subtle about checking out hot chicks, like me. that way you let him know you're noticing and it bothers you and he won't think of you as controlling if you keep it lighthearted.