My boyfriend wants me to gain (more) weight?

I about 5'4" and 120 pounds. I used to be about 115-118 but now it is more 119-122. This might not sound like a big deal but those few pounds are really bothersome to me. However, my boyfriend says he still thinks I am too thin. He always says I need to eat more. When he used to say things like, "Jesus, I can feel your bones" he now says things like, "wow, your boobs have gotten bigger and it's amazing." This makes it seem like he is obviously more attracted to me now.

The thing is, I am not exactly comfortable with the weight I have put on and want to go back down to my lower weight. I feel slightly pressured by him (and others even) to maintain my current higher weight. It is so complicated. The problems come from the fact that I used to weigh at least 155 pounds and worked very hard to lose weight so now I feel a sense of failure when I weigh over 120. Maybe it sounds crazy but I can't help being controlled by that number on the scale.

How do I make my boyfriend understand that I am not happy with these few extra pounds?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you are happy with how you look that is all that matters. Don't lose weight if you don't want to. Please yourself before you please him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You say that other people are pressuring you to maintain your current weight. Who are they? Is it possible people who care about you are worried about your health? I would talk to a doctor to find out what your ideal body weight should be. Then work to maintain whatever your doctor says, and ignore anyone else.

    It is possible that your boyfriend is worried about your health, but he doesn't really know a good way to encourage you. The stuff he is saying sounds pretty sleazy.

    If your lower weight is perfectly healthy then he shouldn't be fixated on your body. Tell him you are going to do what you want and you don't want to hear his opinions about it.

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  • Damn you're skinny. A little meat on your bones would help. Heck you're half the weight of my wife. You DO need more weight.

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What Girls Said 5

  • if you want to be a certain size be that size. My boyfriend is the same way, I was tiny and still am I was a 0 and now I'm a 3 or 4 depending on the jeans he still says how I'm boney but not as much he's happy with my weight just wants me to eat more. Since I tend to not eat that much. I had 34D boobs but not I have 34DD so that makes him happier. As much as I feel the presure I know I have to do what's feels OK to me

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  • Your health should matter the most, not that your boobs have gotten bigger.

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  • Be careful. Some guys have this type of fetish with women gaining weight. He'll ask you to gain more and more weight and the next thing you know you'll be morbidly obese. Be the weight you are most comfortable with. You're the one that has to live in that body, not him, so he should not have any choice in the matter.

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  • Sounds like he's only interested in you for you body. You don't need to gain weight for him. Do what you want. I probably wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who wants me to change myself like that. I think you should tell him how you feel, and if he doesn't respect that run.

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  • It's your body and 5'4/120 is a healthy weight. Dude needs to respect that just as much as if he were pressuring you to lose weight.

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