Why tell people that looks don't matter?

I was just reading a question on this particular matter a few moments ago. I don't understand why people always reassure someone that their looks don't matter, it's just their personality. Looks do matter to an extent. Of course if someone is very good-looking but has a crappy personality, they won't be in a relationship for very long... even if someone pursued them because they were attracted to them.

It's a combination of both. You have to have a good personality and good looks. You can't have one without the other. So if a person doesn't find you attractive, it doesn't matter how good of a personality you have. They might be friends with you, they might like you, but they will probably never want to be in a relationship with you.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You probably were reading my question, and as I see you're still very new on this site, it doesn't surprise me that you're surprised by what's going around here!

    They lie because they're fishing for virtual "perks" - upvotes, Best Answers, positive comments and stuff like that, they don't wanna drama aswell as people can be EXTREMELY sensitive and overreactive when it comes to ANY criticism including constructive criticism about their looks and trying to tell them looks are actually very important! Why?

    Because this site is on the internet, obviously! Most, of course not all but most of people here(and on other f.a. social media sites) are unattractive and look bad! It's a fact!

    That factor accompanied by the thing I already mentioned creates this kind of situation - they feed them lies because they ENJOY being lied to, they enjoy hearing it's "important to accept who you are, not being fake" they enjoy hearing that personality is the only and the very most important thing that matters, they enjoy hearing that confidence is the key to flirting!

    They can't HANDLE the hard truth, which is obvious, but to some - painful!

    Though it would be much better if those people would start working on things which bother them, working to improve things which affect their confidence instead of sinking into self-deception, instead of putting on artificial "confidence", instead of feeding on those lies here everyday but in the real life never succeeding!

    Some people are just nuts!

    Don't mind them too much!

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    • How do you know they are unattractive?

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    • What's my kind? enlighten me please. :-)

    • not too sure if it was yours, but yes I suppose you're right... though they'll have to face reality sometime instead of having that false hope from people who are lying

What Girls Said 5

  • Looks don't matter that much. but looks do matter

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  • They matter in the sense that if someone considers you attractive they'll want to get to know you and see if your personality is attractive as well, but physical attractiveness is subjective. Since it's subjective, I think, we shouldn't fixate so much on it. Can anyone be truly "attractive" in the eyes of everyone in the world? probably not, so why worry so much about it?

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  • Oh, hell yes it matters to me. See? Not everyone thinks that way. :)

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  • agreed

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  • looks matter to a point its inside that matters, if your good person, funny, and charming. These things matter most.

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What Guys Said 6

  • With men, looks matter, with women looks matter a little.

    The point is that women are attracted to forms of power.

    (confidence, height, money, popularity (safety in numbers) humor, and muscles)

    all of which have nothing to do with facial symmetry and youth indicators. (which men are attracted to.)

    Confidence is number one on woman's list because its representative of the ability to get muscles, to get popularity, to get money, and to be humorous. (it takes confidence to deliver jokes in front of people)

    Someone whose not confident is not going to have the ambition to get any of those things.

    Confidence is something that women would put in the category as "personality".

    Its defiantly not looks.

    Unfortunately for women though, looks matter to men as confidence matters to women.

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  • Physical attraction is the first thing I feel for any girl. It's the first thing that attracts us to the other person we like before we ever get to know them. If I'm only with her because she's hot than lust is the only reason I'm with her. Girls with great personalities are great to be in relationship with. Yes, a combination of both (personality and looks) would be what I would consider a good potential wife; it has to be a 50/50 deal for me.

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  • People who say that are just lying.

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  • Also women want social status like everyone else. The fastest way to get there is to marry into it... not really an option for men since women marry beneath their social standing much less frequently.

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  • cos it is the right thing to say, even though it is cliched hippie crap lies

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  • Looks matter. No one wants to have ugly children.

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