So basically, looks matter?

I know for guys it definitely matters but girls are always saying personality matters more for them.

Thing is, I have a good personality, and I'm a nice guy, also with quite a bit of talent. I'm fairly good looking but not hot. More average or cute by a girls standards. But given what they say, I should have much more luck than I do... Looks matter don't they?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just because you aren't getting girls doesn't mean all girls only want good looks and the rule that personality matters more is irrelevant. Maybe your personality isn't clicking with the girls you're meeting, doesn't mean anythings wrong. Every girl has a different type of guy she likes... there's nice guys and there's nice guys with something extra in their personality which draws me to them. You will find a girl like that eventually but no, looks don't matter too much since beauty is subjective.

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    • It's subjective to a certain point. An attractive person is an attractive person, average is average, and completely unattractive is completely unattractive. With the rare exception maybe someone that fits into these categories may move a level between them, up or down, but like I'm not "hot" so I fear that I'm not attractive enough. I have subjective tastes among hot girls, prefer a certain type, but I wouldn't date someone I didn't find attractive, and I fear that's how girls feel about me.

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    • well the way you rely on others perception of your attractiveness is not confidence :) I'm sure you're a cutie

    • the reason I'm not "confident" is because I realize people are like this and won't usually respond to people that don't act this way, if that makes any sense at all.

What Girls Said 9

  • Yeah, it matters, but to what degree depends on the person. Looks and personality may have nothing to do with why you're single though. As important as looking good or being a nice person is, so is going out and meeting new people, socializing, showing interest in girls you like, etc. People can only like your personality and realize you guys are compatible if they get to know you, so the more people you meet, the better your chances are of finding the right person.

    I think anyone who wants to change their single status, guy or girl, should be proactive about it. Not that I'm saying you're not, but many people forget that there's more to it than being a good catch, that putting yourself out there is probably more important than anything else.

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  • Yes but personality and confident matters 3 times more. A girl will get to know and trust a good guy who has his **** together. She could even introduce her friends. A guy will most likely won't do that for a girl. So anyways, personality rocks but you have to understand that even with a nice personality, a girl does not want a guy to be a pushover. Be confident, ambitious, and funny are the answers. This is just my opinion and observation.

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    • Why would I want to meet her friends I just wanna f*** her bro

    • Yeah. A guy doesn't want to meet your friends, he wants you.

  • lol , looks are definitely important when deciding whether to go out with someone or not. There has to be some form of physical attraction.

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  • honestly, I prejudge (I can't help it, EVERYONE does- whether you're a guy or girl) but if you're a douchebag, then you're no longer attractive to me. of course, it could work the other way around. I've gotten to know a guy THEN started to like them a little more.

    don't lose hope :)

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    • That explains why girls constantly fall for the douchebag type lol.

  • Looks are not too important, for me anyway.

    Decent looking + good personality = someone I'd probably like.

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  • Well the thing is looks are the first thing that attracts you to a person, but the personality is what makes you like them. Even if a person is not particularly attractive you could still like them for other attributes they have so they aren't the only thing that matters.

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    • I have yet to experience this... its pretty apparent that I'm a good guy too, so if that were true, I'd have girls all over me. That's all I hear from girls in fact, "awe you're such a good guy!" then they never want to talk to me after that :/

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    • People that know me best too, they've told me before that once I do find someone, she will probably end up being the girl I end up with. Probably just has to do with the kind of person I am, and how they perceive me as well.

    • Well yeah I mean I always thought that the first guy I had real feelings for would be the guy but it doesn't happen that way because people don't always show who they really are right away. This guy was great and he's not a bad person he just didntt always treat me the way I shoulda been treated and we fought a lot because of it. He just wasn't the right guy for me in the end.

  • looks are a lure, personality determines the rest.

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  • No, basically, it doesn't matter what the f*** you look like or do...Sometimes it just isn't in the cards. I don't think you can accredit that to one single (superficial) thing.

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  • Would you date anyone that you are not attracted to?

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    • No, but at least guys will admit that. Girls are nearly always sending the wrong messages to guys it seems.

What Guys Said 7

  • Just because personality matters doesn't mean looks don't.

    Also, don't mistake 'personality' for 'being nice'. Both men and women like people they are in relationships to be 'nice', but 'nice' is not the personality factor that women find attractive. Its more confidence, drive, leadership, passion, being comfortable with yourself, being able to laugh, sexual, etc.

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    • I have a lot more good traits on top of being nice.

  • Women rarely admit face to face that it's looks which goes first, and then only, if they aren't too dumb, personality (some just go for the looks and then wonder why their life sucks).

    People expect them - and that's how they are raised - to behave in a diplomatic way, to never make enemies. Look at all the posts here articulated on the "I don't like him, will he hate me if I tell him" credo.

    If you're average-looking (99.9% of mankind - men AND women - are in this category, don't worry), you have to use something else to attract them. And that is self-confidence, which you can't really have if you have no personality.

    This will really compensate your lack of "hotness". An intellectually grown-up woman will think like this too, anyway.

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    • (Waits for attractive girls to grow up) ...doesn't seem to be working :/

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    • Very nice wishes. Hope you can find such a woman :)

    • thanks, I feel that I did. she said she didn't like me, and went out with more of the thug type. I tried to make things happen she put up her b****-shield and we haven't spoken since and I didn't ever plan to again for a while, but I wonder if that's a mistake. she's caused a lot of inner conflict within me. I was very attracted to her, and wanted to make things happen which is generally against my nature. I'm normally shy and passive.

  • Both matter, its just you don't know someones personality before you know what they look like at first.

    And I think everyone would like a smart, attractive partner :D

    but how often does that happen and what does smart or attractive even mean to everyone?

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  • They say as long as they has a good personality,but the truth is how are going to meet a girl in the first place if you haven't got good looks in my experience looks really do matter.

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  • yeah it definetley does matter

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  • Yup, it matters.

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  • You don't have to good looking, just good looking enough

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    • I am. At least I should be for most.

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