Why do guys pick less attractive girls?

Here's the situation:

She's..a bigger girl, average prettyness I guess (not very pretty but not ugly)... and then there's me, I'm slimmer yet still curvy/tall/quite pretty face, great hair etc. And yet this girl consistently has boyfriends and I'm forever alone. I'm extremely kind and sweet etc but I have troubles showing people that since I'm shy. Could it be that my shyness is why she seems to have more luck with men than me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Imo...yes, it is the shyness.

    I find it disturbing that you think that because this girl is chubbier and (in your opinion) has a less attractive face than you, that somehow that makes you "better than her".

    Shallow much? There are guys that like every bodytype. Your shallowness (yes, I said shallowness) is probably giving off bad vibes and that can detract guys.

    There is more than looks to get a boyfriend, QA. Her non-shy nature is probably what also attracts guys.

    As for your shyness? It takes time to break it, but once you do it will change your life. :)

    Why do you think that you're shy?

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    • calling her bigger and less attractive than me is not insulting her. Its a fact of life that there's always someone more attractive than you. I wasn't trying to put her down I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I'm shy because I'm insecure and always have been... I kinda grew into my looks? If that makes sense. haha

What Guys Said 10

  • It IS your shyness. She's making it obvious when she's into a guy but my guess is that you do not. Guys don't necessarily like when a girl is being difficult or shy. Some day, a guy's going to work hard to get you out of your shy bubble and he'll be worth the wait.

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    • that's what I'm hoping haha. Thanks!

    • Yes, but in the meantime, you shouldn't just hide in your shell waiting for someone to pull you out. it's important to put yourself out there so you get to know the different types of people there are, This way, when it's your time you're able to make a well-informed decision and PICK the type of relationship you wish to pursue...

    • thanks for that advice! I agree, I have been trying, college has forced me to what with all the public speaking and group work, its just boys I have to conquer still haha

  • people will choose what is attractive to them, whether its a big girl, small girl, cute,gorgeous, etc.

    Everyone has different taste and personally I would of picked you over her if I knew you, So with that being said, keep your chin up and don't let that get you down. Most guys don't mind shy girls, if she shows a smile or some sort of a green light towards a guy, a guy will use that as an opening to move in.

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    • aw thanks :) ill try to be more outgoing/open, its just like I'm in quicksand, damn shyness!

    • you don't have to push yourself, if there's a guy you see, just smile and look away , it should give him a hint.

  • How do you look at people when they give you a smile or eye contact?

    It all starts from there, if you have a btichfront, it's often a trunoff.

    Fact is most people make almost all of their judgements about a person within the first split second of seeing them. They confirm those judgements within the first minute of talking to them, then rationalise those judgements later on when confronted with prolonged interaction.

    If your problem isn't not getting talked to then you've got to work on conveying more of your personality, which can be difficult when you're shy.

    You might wanna get to know her and see what she does and how she does it, learn from the best ^^

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  • It's only shyness and nothing else.

    It's a guarantee nobody will approach you if you appear distant and indifferent, regardless how good you look.

    If you're truly attractive as you described yourself, then being shy the best you can get are guys checking you out but never actually talking to you.

    Actually I don't pick less attractive girls I can get, but I can't speak in the name of every other guy out there, when the girl makes clear what's on her mind and makes a move it's safer.

    And the truth is that guys hate "the chase" we are too blunt and straightforward to indulge into stupid mind-games. At least those who actually want to keep the girl instead of disposing her after "the usage"

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  • Maybe because the more attractive one is a *****, and the less attractive one has a better personality to him?

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  • 1. she has a thick hide and takes an active role on seeking mates.

    2. she has a shinning personality.

    Why do you envy a girl who's been passed around the block too many times? I'm confused.

    having too many bfs is worse than having none at all. Shows she is the date and dump material.

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  • yeah, probably the shyness.. guys might be scared to talk to you since you're scared to talk to them..

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  • could be shyness or a personality that fits better

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  • Well in case they get hot. For example: Jennifer Hudson. If you butter her up and are good to her when she's fat, she'll stay with you when she gets hot because you liked her when she was fat.

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  • Could very well be shyness. You sound hot, it's kind of silly if not plain dumb for you to keep to yourself so much. I mean, you're equally more important than you fear and less important than you think. That's all shyness is about.

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What Girls Said 2

  • It is very hard to judge without knowing the girl on a personal level. Maybe she is just overall a real cool chick and is comfortable in her own skin. Being shy is a huge obstacle when breaking the ice. Its often hard enough to approach someone and when you have to make all the convo it could be a deal breaker. attractiveness and size often have less to do with it unless the guy is shallow and in that case would you really want the guy that picked you over her because you are prettier? I would rather him say she has a much better personality and fun to be around.

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  • very possibly

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