How much are your visual desires a deal breaker? Men! Please help.

I know that men are visual and fulfilling their needs is one of the most important thing in a relationship. But my boyfriend is often suggesting things he would like me to change about myself. This distresses me some, because I don't know where it will stop.

BUT, I also know that he is probably just being honest and that all guys would prefer their girlfriend to be as close to their physical ideal as possible. I also don't want to date someone I'm un-attracted to, so I'm shallow too.

So I don't know if I should just do what he says or if I chalk it up to us not being compatible...


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, think about if he is telling you to make theses changes for you. If you feel like you would like these changes then sure, why not?

    Of course that also depends on how big the changes are, like a hair color change might be okay because it is temporary. But things like implants might require more thought. Also if he wants these changes purely for his desires and nothing more then it might not be such a great idea.

    There is also the argument that no one should ever have to change themselves.

    Honestly, I'm a guy so the most change I ever get is a haircut so I don't know what to tell you.

    I hope some of that helped. :)


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • Well...if he made a suggestion on whether he liked bald or trimmed, short or long hair...that is a preference and is your choice on whether to comply...but that is reasonable. Changing your hair color, loosing weight, breast implants or anything else that changes your body I think is too much to ask if you don't want it. That's just my personal opinon.

  • First of all, you're not shallow for wanting to date someone you're attracted to. Having physical attraction is a key component. And this is true for everyone.

    Secondly, if he simply CAN"T be content with the way you look, then you'd better find a new boyfriend.

  • I'm anxious to see the answers. My boyfriend wants me to change the color of my nipples to dark brown instead of pink. Not sure if that's even possible. AND my hair color. That's easy but red? No.