Do men think that their looks aren't important?

This question isn't meant to belittle anyone so don't take it that way. This is a drama free zone thank you :)

I noticed much of the dating advice given to men always has to do with personality or conversation. I rarely ever hear anyone give advice that's centered around improving looks. Also I know some girls (on this site) say "looks don't matter" and I was wondering if guys were getting confused, thinking his looks don't matter at all and that girls don't care about it?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think a lot of guys are unclear regarding how much looks matter, and what exactly that means.

    When I was younger, I knew girls cared about looks, but advice was rarely focused on doing something like actually getting muscles. I was sort of given the impression that the kind of girl you'd want to date wouldn't go out with a guy just because of that. Of course that was completely wrong, the sort of girl I want to be with cares a lot about her partner's body because she actually has a sex drive and isn't just looking to walk around holding hands discussing poetry.

    Also, I think a lot of people will say 'a girl will day you even if XYZ'. Well that's all fine and well, but actually 'dating' doesn't mean you're home free. What if you actually want her to be really turned on by you?

    I think a major issue is that young guys tend to be given dating advice by older female relatives, who tend to encourage them simply to be charming little princes rather then giving them advice that would make them sexually desirable.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I usually mention it. In particular, hygiene issues like clean and trimmed fingernails and toenails, which is an area some guys forget about but are VERY important if you're hoping to sex up a girl.

    I think that all but the super-clueless know if they are wearing reasonable clothing or not. Obviously, if you're dressing in a specific style (punk, stoner, goth, jock, preppy, etc.) then you know it, and presumably you accept that you may be limiting yourself to people who are attracted to that specific style, and won't be "universally attractive" to the degree that such a thing exists.

    My recommendation to guys is to try to dress one notch (but only one notch) better than the folks around you, if you are trying to stand out and be noticed for your appearance. For example, if everyone is wearing a T-shirt and jeans, maybe you wear khakis and a polo, or of that's what everyone is wearing, you wear a button-down shirt. Obviously, going several notches above everyone else makes you look ridiculous; you don't wear a tux to lounge around the pool or play football.

    And I would HOPE that merely mentioning hygiene would remind those who need reminding that daily showering, hair washing, and teeth brushing are a minimum requirement. Cologne isn't necessary and isn't universally liked or appreciated, but can be appropriate in some situations. Don't bathe in it, though, as some people do. A little goes a long way.

    Beyond that, a decent haircut (even if your hair is long, having the ends properly trimmed and sideburns shaped makes a big difference) and some decent, color-coordinated clothes should be plenty.

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  • it just reflects that a guy's wallet is the only important part of his anatomy in traditional dating, while women's looks are really the only thing that counts. Sure people prattle about personality, but...we all know what really counts.

    This is why I opted out of traditional dating young, I didn't accept either rule!

    men don't have the luxury of making up their own minds about this; the rule of the dating scene is that their looks don't count for very much.

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  • I know looks are very important, not only do guys need to look good, but be well groomed too. I've noticed that women like a well dressed guy also, they might say they don't but when I go out I see good looking dudes with really nice clothes pulling a lot of the prettier women.

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  • Oh hell yeh it does, but I think for guys once we get our confidence swag going, all that other good stuff falls right in place. Like when we feel better about ourselves, we end uo taking time to become even better. For girls, sometimes I feel like its just the opposite: you have to look good to then feel good. Which is why girls are always complaining about nonexistent fat all the like, because they don't think they look good so thus they don't feel good about themselves. This is not encompassing everyone of course, just my observations.

    And baby, I observe.

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  • That is true, I never actively thought about that. I think its because a lot of advice is addressed to how men should act towards women in order to get a woman or impress her. But dressing is something you just do for yourself. Dressing nice is a representation of who you are and I would hope that most guys would dress nice because of that. I mean, in my own personal experience I don't leave the house unless I think I look sharp, but that's just me haha

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  • Personality comes first to girls and looks come second.

    I remember when I was younger I use to wear the same thing everyday and because my personallity was amazing she overlooked it. BUT that is a no no, take it from my experience at the very least look approachable and smell good.

    Would you want to be walking around with a guy who looks like damn trash all the time?

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  • I think the looks don't matter phrase really can be described as "Your chances won't really go down if you don't look like that guy on the billboard or on the magazine cover, but you still should make yourself presentable"

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  • looks are important I should know, specially since I am 5'6 or 168 cm tall

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  • I think exactly the opposite. I am short, and know for a fact that my height has ruined my chances with multiple girls. No matter how much girls say looks don't matter, I know my height does.

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  • No. I'm aware that looks are important to women, too. Especially height!

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  • No, if I thought looks weren't important, I wouldn't be waiting years to get my appearance fixed before I attempt to ask any woman out.

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  • We are well aware that looks are important.

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  • No, in fact its drastically the complete opposite of what women claim, especially height. Girls really ought to stop preaching the same just be confident in yourself garbage, everybody knows its false.

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  • I'm no Brad Pitt or George Clooney but..I've gotten my fair share of women. Think again before you go running off at the mouth! By the way, they were all 8's

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    • Are you saying you're ugly? Or that you just don't look like a pretty boy Hollywood actor?

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    • okayyy moving on

    • There's no such thing as ugly or "pretty boy". Everyone has some sort of attribute that makes them good looking

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