Handsome vs Hot? Which is really better?

I get called hansdome a lot and hot here and there. Is being called handsome a bad thing? Women tell me that it is better than being called hot. It is like that want you around them longer than the "hot' person and that would make you marriage/long term material. But at the same time being called handsome makes you feel like a sloppy second.

younger women would put hot above handsome but an older woman or stable young woman would put handsome above hot.

So which is really better or is it all in the eye of the beholder?

Updates:
Should I strive to become hotter?
Update...

So would a woman call an ugly guy with tons of cash handsome as if he was good looking?
Update2

I recently had a random woman wanting a friend request on a social networking site and I asked her about the invite she sent me out of the blue... She told me that I was handsome and that is why I got it... I sometimes wonder why women just do not come out and say man you are so handsome/hot I wanna "do the nasty with you" lol. Guys are more up front about it but why not women?


Also I have had women accuse me of being a player due to looks but I am a homebody that lifts weights.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, I'm not an English native speaker. I can be giving you a totally wrong answer xD , so I thought I should warn you first... But we do have our own words in my country, so I guess I can also give you a good answer, if you're interested in a young woman's point of view :)

    When you say one guy is "hot", that's usually a kind of "shallow" compliment. Meaning, he can look hot for a moment, or can be looking attractive, he can be extremely attractive... But I, personally, don't believe it to be the best compliment out there... Not in English nor in European Portuguese...

    And when you say someone is handsome, you're mostly referring to them physically, but also to the "air" that person has around them. If a guy looks handsome, he implicitly looks confident, masculine and has a certain "gentlemanish" quality about him. And that? That is so much more attractive than looking hot...

    Well, I hope this somehow helped you out :)

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What Girls Said 4

  • I say more mature women use the word 'handsome.' I am mature and do not use the word 'hot.' I think it is the vocabulary of a younger girl. The word is not a sloppy second. Look at the women, their age, and maturity and you could possibly see the difference. It shouldn't be bad then.

    I am in my late 20's and do not use 'hot' in my vocabulary. I describe men as attractive or handsome. I feel the word 'hot' speaks more immaturity. I would prefer a man to call me 'beautiful' or 'attractive' than hot. Therefore, I would know he is a man who is mature. I have had men tell me friends I was 'hot' and did not waste my time. When I did, I came to terms they were less mature.

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  • Some woman will tell you Handsome if they are mature, respect or truly understand the meaning.

    Some woman will tell you Hot if they are not as mature, still respect you, think of you as a catch, or just are so use to the word.

    Either way they are saying you are attractive and good looking so its never bad to be called either. Just like guys tell us woman to take any compliment then it applies most definitely to men too. Take it or leave it lol jk

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    • What if a young woman use the term handsome, would that be bad?

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    • answer to your update

      Why is it not okay for a woman to say those things? Personally I would not mine...

    • It's okay, just some people think wrong of it, but it all has to deal with the woman/girl if they choose to. Nothings wrong in my opinion but some people will be like 'Oh no that's very bad'

  • I'm an older and stable woman, and even in my younger days I've considered handsome "hot."

    No difference to me. To me, I have always been able to look at the "total" man, not just the bookcover. Never have. Guess that's just me, huh?

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    • Some women think like you but there are some that make a clear difference in the 2 words when it comes to a guy. This is why I had to ask this question. Women have a wide range on this issue. It is interesting.

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    • Re: your last update: perhaps women friend men because they do think that you/they are good looking & they want to meet you & get to know you. Perhaps they have some hopes of having a relationship with you. I think that is more liking than your senario. I truly doubt that the majority of females friend men because they just want to "do the nasty with them." Not how the typical female mind works. Sorry to break it to you. Now, go downtown on $1 beer night & you might find a taker.

    • Lol I don't drink. Plus bars are not my thing. I hate them. I just don't like being around drunks. I have a couple of female friends but we have nothing in common. Well one did but we are not really friends anymore. Also I used to spin records at parties but you get tired of the whole people everywhere and fights etc scene...

  • A guy can be hot and handsome at the same time. For me I consider handsome a better compliment though because I'm taking into account their attractiveness and gentleman-like qualities at the same time.

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    • I don't get the whole hot and handsome labels fully. Perhaps hot is a person with just a nice body and that is it? Handsome is possbile body but more face?

What Guys Said 4

  • Personally I think "handsome" is better. When I hear handsome I think of a guy who's confident in himself, generally dignified, yet has a good sense of humour, and of course good looking. "Handsome" brings to mind masculinity and maturity as apposed to "hot" which makes me think of a self-absorbed jock who can't get over the fact that he works out. The people that come to mind are Viggo Mortensen or Johnny Depp versus Tailor Lautner or Orlando bloom ("handsome" and "hot" respectively).

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  • This is a great question... Really interesting answers.

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    • Yeah. I had to do this for all of the people who are confused. Perhaps direct some friends to this topic to see what unfolds..

  • Handsome > cute.

    If a given woman uses both 'hot' and 'handsome' I suppose I'd rather be hot, but I suspect as some of the women here said, it says more about the woman's language patterns then you.

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  • I am pretty sure that the "hot" guy is the one the girls desire. They may think he can be a jerk, or a dousche bag.

    But most likely, they are going to be thinking about the hot guy, over a handsome guy or cute guy.

    Regarding maturity, I am pretty sure I have heard women over 30 use the word HOT.

    Somebody should make a question about explaining the difference between a hot guy, a handsome guy, and a cute guy. That would be interesting.

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    • Some women are different. The hot guy may get the looks but they will not buy the merchandise. It is like window shopping. A woman told me the hot guy will wear off after time but handsome is like actually buying the item and cute fits with hot but not as much raw passion or feeling arise for that person/item.

    • Since you are using the shopping analogy.

      I think the girl WILL see the handsome guy and think, "that sure is a great fit, let me buy"

      But a girl will see a HOT guy and think, "damn, what would I do for that...hmm...it is too expensive, but that is what I really really want" And they will ponder about it for some time. Sometimes taking the splurge. Even though they know they should "look but not touch", many girls will still go for the hot guy..I mean...too expensive dress...

    • I don't know about that lol. The women who found me to be hot did not get me in the end... It felt like a "fake" like. I knew some women that regretted going after the hot guy who ended up getting hurt. I keep on telling them that the break up day will come lol.

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