Why am I so inconsistent with how I feel about my looks?

I'm serious... some days I look in the mirror and I feel like "wow, I'm a great lookin' dude," and then other days I feel borderline ugly... nothing special at least.

This happens especially when a picture is taken of me. I don't know what it is about pictures, but I swear mine always turn out awful, especially when it's not me taking them, lol. But a lot of times, if it's just my reflection in the mirror, I'm fine with my looks, and occasionally in certain lighting, I feel even better about them.

I don't quite know how to feel I guess... Anyone feel the same way? I know a good looking person when I see one, and sometimes I just don't feel like I quite live up... No idea, ha.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Everyone has days like that. It's one of the reasons I shy away form face time, photos, etc. of myself. There are days where I look and feel fantastic, get compliments from guys and girls alike, and am just happy with the universe and my place in it. On a few of those days, someone took a picture and I looked SO bad in them. (Okay, not horrible by general human standards, but not how I envisioned myself at all.) Some people are just not photogenic. It has nothing to do with specific features or flaws on your face, with whether you're fat or thin, etc. Your soul just doesn't always come out in a picture when you pose for it.

    A cousin of mine REALLY knows how to take pictures. She just BEAMS into the lens and the picture looks like she is staring right at you and calling you to join her. WOW. A perfect image every time.

    A guy painted my portrait one time. He asked me to sit for him, so I did. I didn't realize why he'd said that until after I saw the portrait. He'd taken a few preliminary photos, but was really frustrated with them and I didn't know why. In the painting he was able to capture my grin. In the photos he was only able to capture my "picture day smile." Go figure, but in the portrait I was...beautiful.

    What I'm saying is that "Good Looking" is relative to WHO IS LOOKING and how you are feeling as they look. You're FINE. You're simply human...so there will be "pretty" days and "not pretty" days, just like the rest of us. Even Megan Fox isn't happy with herself on some days.

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What Girls Said 18

  • I think this happens to everyone including myself, really just depends on your mood. I know if something happened to me that day and I'm a little down I'll look in the mirror and think I look like complete crap - The negative mood your in magnifies those little imperfections no one else see's (except yourself).. if I'm dressed-up and happy I'll look in the mirror being totally content and confident with the way I look.

    I hate pictures too, some I think look amazing in (not very often) while others I probably look freakish.. hah. whatever though. (:

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  • Don't worry!

    I am a professional model, and I know exactly how you feel!

    I used to feel the same way...!

    But let me explain how the camera works..

    When you take a pic with a high definition camera it will bring out all your imperfections...It's just how it works... It all depends from the lighting and the pose.. sometimes you don't even look like yourself in the pictures...E.g You come out with a big nose, but in reality you don't have a big nose! It's just the angles and how camera acts to it...

    Camera is very different from real life...

    If you want to look good on pictures you have to know the camera and your angles very well, it's something to be learned, and it takes time.

    That's why modelling isn't as easy as it may seem.

    Models take over thousand HD pictures in their shoot, and It is brill if they get 3 chosen to be uploaded. That's also not everything, pictures are never uploaded without editing..

    That's in professional industry with HD cameras!

    I tend to find my pictures in a kitchen cuter than the professional ones, because not so high definition camera hides a few aspects, and it's easier to pose.

    But trust me, you got nothing to worry about!

    Camera is usually the bigger liar than your mirror! if it helps, just make sure your mirror is somewhere light, so you know what you look like in day light...as for pictures in the camera. Just practice! I'd say practice with camera instead of the mirror, because they both are very different!

    Hope that helped:)

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  • The secret is in psychology.If you think and make yourself to believe "I am great looking everyday'' then you'll see the change.Try to think like 'I am so great looking everyday so I have to have a not-so-great picture of me so that others will not get jealeous''.Or something like that.

    Also for that thing with the mirror,you know yourself better than anyone else.So it's natural that you know what your best parts are.When you look yourself at the mirror you unconciously have in mind that (example) your nose is good.so you give attention to your nose.The camera doesn't have a mind.So it just captures everything without giving emphasis in a certain point.

    I don't know if I exlpained myself good (English is not my native language and I'm not proficient with it).ask me if you want further explanation

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  • Feel exactly the same! And then I feel stupid for thinking I looked great when I feel I don't. I guess you just have to come to terms with the way you look, good and bad, and try to remind yourself of the positive when you feel down. Everyone has at least one photo of themselves they like, just focus on that when you feel worse. Or do something small to make yourself feel better, like a few sit ups or something, just so at any rate you get reminded of the good.

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  • You worded my troubles perfectly! It's like we live parallel lives! Some days I just feel so gorgeous, I look in the mirror and think: 'wow, I'm one beautiful girl'. On other days, I think I am average/there's nothing special about me or as you said, borderline ugly. I think it's just my mood. When I feel happy, I tend to think I look gorgeous. When I am feeling empty/emotionless/sad, I look alright or ugly. I'm starting to think dreams can really affect how I feel about myself. Dreams the night before can really affect my mood throughout the day. If they're good, I feel great, if bad, I feel a bit down. I've also realized that right before my period, I feel very confident. So hormones are a huge factor too.

    Haha, same problem again! :p I look fine in front of the mirror, but I look horrid in photos too! Maybe it's the camera quality. It doesn't capture in perfect detail my best assets or something. It might also be as DishLady said. Our soul doesn't come into the picture when we pose for it. I'm extremely jealous of people that are photogenic. It's like they can smile those million dollar smiles and pull it off.

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  • This is exactly my case too! however, I rarely get compliments from people, but sometimes when I look in the mirror and compare myself to people I've seen through the day I think to myself : "i'm really good looking" or at least "not that bad... " other days I just feel like everyone else is more physically attractive than me... It really sucks to not know where you really stand. And I definitely agree with the pictures things when I take pictures of myself they're usually really nice but when someone else is taking a picture of me I end up looking awkward.

    There's a question that really intrigues me concerning this subject : "do you think that the reflection we see of our self when we look in the mirror is the same way people see us when we're face to face? " ( I would like it if you give me your opinion on this question )

    Your question is so comforting by the way :)

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    • Well I mean the compliments I get aren't abundant or anything, lol, but every-so-often, I hear or hear of them... so I guess it's closer to being a rarity for me too. ;)

      But I do feel that we are our own harshest critics...

    • Yes,we can be our own harshest critics: this is what I used to do best! Lol I don't know where it stems from (or maybe I don't want to admit it) but there's always a root cause... But I agree that there is a large'ish gap between how we judge ourselves and how we are judged by others lol

  • Wow, I totally can relate to how you feel when you look in the mirror compared to looking at pictures of yourself. I dislike pictures my self. And I doubt that you really get a true 'flavour' of the person you're looking at from a picture anyway. It's so stagnant and what makes a person attractive is the character in the face which is mostly lost in pictures especially if you're someone like me who freezes up whenever someone says 'smile' for the camera...

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    • That's a great point... I agree. Oddly enough, I don't even have much of an issue with how I look on video. It's just the whole "frozen-in-time" look doesn't suit me very well, haha. Glad to hear I'm not alone in this, and I mean, there's nothing wrong with your looks either...

      One of life's mysteries I suppose, lol.

    • Yes, that "frozen..." And " I'm trying really hard to look decent for this picture" look hates me too lol

  • I know exactly what you mean! For me, if I am not happy about how I look at the time it is usually because I am stressed, tired, angry, upset.. Just in a bad mood, really.

    If that's the case, I often do something that boosts my self esteem a little, like putting on some really nice clothes or perfume. And I try to have a good day (:

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    • That may be true! And yeah, definitely... that always helps a bit. The funny thing too... I have had enough people compliment my looks in the last couple years or so, as I've kinda grown into adulthood (my teen years were awkward to say the least, looking back), but still... I don't know lol.

    • If people tell you you're good looking, then you're probably good looking.

      For me, I figure that I am in general pretty good looking even if I don't feel that way all the time. It's probably a similar situation for you.

      But you will also be more attractive if you have self confidence and have a good day.

    • Even if people tell me I'm pretty in the back of my head I always think they are BSing or just playi with me :( so I never listen to when people tell me I'm beautiful I always end up thinking they are lying.

  • I feel the exact same way :) You're not alone!

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  • lol long story short, cameras are bitches >-< mirrors are nice.

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  • You read my mind! And it's amazing how many people go through this just like me ! And I always thought I was crazy. That's why I always shy away from cameras because I always come out absolutely hideous, and when I take my own picture I come out okay. I hate feeling like this though :(

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  • Hey I have the same problem.i look good when I do it myself.when others do it .it turns out to be horrift.in group I become the most ugly person.but sometimes it cames out to be great as if I'm photogenic.well tip for you is to try a pose in front of mirror.and whenever you go out where photographs are going to be taken.wear plane colored clothes.avoid stripes or something of strong pattern.and yes the more you let your photograps be taken the more you come to know about your perfect angled and pose.and be happy.just try saying yourself pretty.a smiling face is more pleasant than serious face.

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  • yep I know exactly how you feel.. happens to me ALL THE TIME! exactly what you mean with the picture thing... when I don't take it... I feel like it's bad a lot of the time.. sometimes I'll feel ugly due to something happening emotionally in my life at the time that will make me 2nd guess myself on how I look.. I let people's words get to me a lot.. it's really bad so I get down easily from that..

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  • I'm exactly like this and I hate it. I just get frustrated to the point I give up caring but I always go back to feeling great then bad. Its a cycle. I agree with you maybe I just don't know how I feel.

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  • You and Me Both...I Don't think it's just You because you see people on here saying they know how you feel...So I think everyone (no matter how confident you are with yourself) think this way sometimes about themselves.

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  • Most people are average looking, not everyone can look like Heidi Klum and Channing tatum

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  • wow I thought I was the only one that felt like this, but I totally get what you mean. when I take a picture of myself, I look super close as to how I look in the mirror but when someone else takes a pic it's like 'who the f*** is that? is that really me?' sometimes I think I'm pretty, other days, not at all. I know I have to work on my body and my makeup though, but don't worry, I'm sure you're handsome, cameras suck :I lol

    cameras only capture you for a second, mirrors capture you moving and everything :)

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    • Omg I look at my pictures and sometimes I can believe that's even me because of how ugly it looks lol. And I look in the mirror and I see someone prettier. I hate cameras :(.

  • I feel the same way.I think I look better in the mirror than in the cam.I think it has something to do with the lighting.In some pictures I look totally different from who I am ://

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What Guys Said 3

  • This happens to me a lot also. I guess it just depends on your overall mood that day.

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    • It very well could be mood...

    • Well I tend to think of myself hideous when I'm in a down mood and I find myself not too scary when I'm feeling good. It may just be me though.

  • Yep. Last night I looked in the mirror brushing my teeth and I was like damn I look good. This morning I felt I look ugly. Ask yourself this, when you look good to yourself are you happy and in a good mood? When you think you look bad are you a bit more gloomy? I'm asking myself this right now as I just thought of it lol, but I'm thinking your mood really almost literally shines through your body and makes a difference.

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  • Yeah I get this too.

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