My boyfriend doesn't think I am pretty

Mt boyfriend doesn't think I am pretty or good looking but he has told me it doesn't matter to him. At first I was really hurt to hear this. He said he couldn't lie to me and say I was when I wasn't. Said it pained him to lie but he is happy and loves me.

I have been in many relationships before and always been called Beautiful or pretty.

I feel hurt and numb. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, you need to learn not to ask questions that you might not like the answers to. You put him on the spot for no reason. Obviously, if he's with you, he's attracted to you. Why isn't that enough?

    Second, he may have a warped or over-inflated standard of beauty, and if he does, he probably knows it. Maybe you aren't his normal "type," but obviously he likes you well enough to be with you, even dispite his preferences, so really, his feelings for you are STRONGER than those preferences, and more important to him than they are. That should make you happy.

    Look, we all know how much women's appearance plays into their self-worth, so we get why you feel bad. But this really doesn't change anything. He CHOSE you, and is still choosing you every day. And he was honest with you, when most men would have lied (if they felt as he does). That in itself is hard to find.

    You are MORE to him than your outer beauty. Do you know how many girls would give anything to find a guy who cared more for her inner beauty than the outside? You are lucky.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Aside from your looks, how else does he treat you? If it is well, he might be one of those rare guys that really doesn't care that much about looks. Other men may have found you more attractive previously, as we all have different tastes.

    If your personality is the best he ever found, the fact that he was honest (no matter how harsh) means that he finds other parts of you more important than your body. Sometimes when you ask a very direct question, you'll get an unexpected but truthful response. If he's otherwise good to you, he's just telling the honest truth and that your looks aren't that important to him.

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    • He says that he has never found anyone with such a great personality as mine. That he feels comfortable and never been this much in love. I think it's just killed my confidence that he doesn't think I am pretty. He is painfully honest and he does treat me good besides this but it's very hurtful to say he doesn't think I am pretty or good looking.

    • It sounds like you are in love with a very blunt but honest man. Sometimes he isn't the most tactful, but he doesn't lie to you, so you know that he values integrity. He could have also been jaded towards other girls he found attractive before in the past but had poor personalities, such that he really wants to emphasize that he is with you for your soul, not your looks. He sounds loving, but very blunt. It doesn't mean he thinks you're ugly, but perhaps not the most attractive woman around.

    • I've dated a model and eventually dumped her over her personality. At some point, looks may not really matter that much to a man if he finds the sweetest girl ever. His attraction to you is mental and emotional. It is only natural that you want it to be strongly physical too, even if he doesn't feel the same way. Hopefully he's at least affectionate enough to hug, kiss and otherwise touch you, right?

  • dump his ass. he is just putting you down to raise his own self esteem. Some guys do this because they think of the girl knows she is pretty she will get a big head, but I wouldn't stand for it. Tell him to take a hike and that he has a small penis.

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    • I know that it's not right. That maybe it's out of jealously or insecurity but I love him. I asked my friends opinion and they are very honest Male and Female and they said I was very pretty and that it was scary that he said I wasn't. Almost like on purpose hurting me. I love him and I live with him. I've invested time and I don't want to end it.

    • it is scary. why would you love someone who insults you? the guy does things to put you down. I'm sure you do things to make him feel good about himself. It sounds like you feel bad for him and you are willing sacrifice your own happiness to make him happy...

  • I can't imagine what kind of sh*tty guy would say that to his girlfriend. IMO he isn't worth sticking around with. I mean obviously those comments are going to be hurtful to you so him saying it "just to be honest" is just a d*** move. He knows it's hurtful, he shouldn't just say it to say it.

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    • I didn't even ask if I was pretty or beautiful. He just blurted it out. So, It's not like I was fishing for compliments. Just very hurt because I tell him he is good looking. Do you think he is trying to be hurtful or just stupid?

    • That sounds even more like he's just doing it to be hurtful. Were you fighting in any way or was there another reason to be frustrated? I just can't imagine calling my girlfriend unattractive. That's just not something that I would ever even think.

  • Well I think that he's just an absolute idiot for saying that.

    But then, I thought about it a bit more and realized what a testiment it is in regards to his love for you; He loves you for you and can look past what he considers unnatractive.

    Still an idiotic thing to say though.

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  • dump him. What kind of guy doesn't call his girlfriend beautiful?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Leave that loser. I don't care why he said it or why it's completely unacceptable. You deserve someone who loves you and the way you look and all that. EVERYTHING NOTSOBAD said.

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  • Dump him! What an ass. Girls deserve way better than a guy that calls them ugly... Wow. I would have slapped him.

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  • A man should never say that to a girl, especially to his own girlfriend..

    Tell him to take his d-ick back to China. xD

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