I can't get over the fact that she wears too much makeup. Is it shallow of me?

There's this girl I'm seeing. She's fun, cute, attractive, but she wears too much makeup!

And I feel awful because it almost embarrasses me when we're out in public but I can't help it... She wears way more than she needs and I've always liked the natural look.

Is this shallow of me or natural? How can I get over this and why does she feel like she needs so much? I've seen pictures of her with little makeup and she's so much prettier!

I know its kind of a stupid question.. But ladies, any help or input on this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well,its hard to answer this because some people idea of too much makeup is a girl wearing eyeliner,and other peoples idea is someone wearing enough makeup to be in a circus.I would need you to give examples of what exactly she is wearing.

    Secondly,i highly doubt she suddenly started wearing all of this supposed makeup.I bet she had on the same amount when you became attracted to her.Its her style,and I wouldn't suggest trying to change it.However,maybe you can say that you think she is beautiful with out makeup too.BUT it's probable she feels good with what she is wearing,and may be hard pressed to change.If it REALLY bothers you,then you may consider just being friends with her as opposed to trying to date her.

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    • Great answer. So we've been dating officially for a month now and I told her in a really kind honest way about it. Like I was really sweet about it. She got upset but not at me. She felt stupid and told me that she's always just been insecure about herself (which is crazy because she's gourgeous) So I told her that she's beautiful no matter how much makeup she wears but at the same time she doesn't even need it. I think she took it well :) Thanks!

    • You're welcome!Im glad it worked out for you!Thanks for ba. :)

What Girls Said 8

  • I don't think it's shallow at all. I have an aversion to makeup myself, so I can empathize completely. Too much makeup bothers me and grosses me out, and I don't even have to KISS the girls who bother me - so I can see why you're upset. You might want to tell her you like her more natural, but you have to handle it VERY delicately. Very.

    For example, maybe as she is getting ready for a date, you come up to her before she slaps it all on and say, "Leave yourself like that. I love when you look like you. You are such a naturally beautiful woman." But this is all very, very delicate.

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    • At this point things are a little new so I don't know if I'll have the opportunity to see her with little to no make up in a while, but yeah that's a good way to do it. And I'll for sure be delicate. Its a good thing I'm a little worried about it because otherwise it might be something I don't approach so sensitively... ha ha thanks for the help

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    • You're welcome!

    • +1 AWESOME! ^

  • What drew you to her when you first met? was it her personality?

    No, def not shallow. You want to appreciate her beauty.

    Just tell her you saw the pics she posted up of little make-up,

    tell her you think she looks more beautiful when she is more natural.

    Hopefully she will get the hint.

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  • Well... Honestly... lol in my opinion it shouldn't bother you... why should it? I mean if you liked her.. that would be the LEAST worry on your mind...

    lol But than again I guess every person is different.. if I were dating a guy I would like him to apprecaite ALL of me... but I guess to each his own...

    If you do have a problem with it, you should tell her in a kind way. She may be a teensy bit hurt or she may not be sensitive at all.. Just say "Hun, I think your pretty without make up or less of it." You could try explaining this to her.. If she CAKES it on her face maybe this could help her in the long run try telling her that

    maybe she's insecure... or maybe its an overdone passion of hers I don't know.. just try telling her nicely .. but if its for insecurity reasons.. remind her everyday that she's beautiful but if she wants to keep the make up just accept her for who she is lol

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    • Yeah I think its an overdone passion.. haha. she's kind of a girlie girl. I mean, she gets into a ton of guy stuff but dresses full out girlie so that could be why.

      But you're right, I'll just mention it to her in a nice way and tell her she's beautiful without it. Thanks!

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    • Well I'm sure.. guys have things they like... that girls could comlpain about taster.. For instance girls hate sports.. that's like a girl telling you guys to stop watching sports lol... I mean it would be the nice thing to lessen it to spend time with her but let people have their own likes and dislikes!

    • I was super close to picking this as the best answer because of what you said about insecurity. I told her very sweetly and she was upset. Not because I hurt her feelings or anything but because she felt stupid about it and told me that she had always just been insecure about her looks (which I don't get at all because she's very attractive haha) So I just told her that she has no need to feel insecure and I said other nice things and we talked about it and she knows how I feel about it all :)

  • No, its not shallow nor is it stupid. Its just your personal preference. You should tell her that you want to see her with less makeup one day and that she's gorgeous and doesn't need it.

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    • good call. We just started seeing each other and even though things are moving somewhat fast I feel like I should wait a while. But you're right, that's a good way to tell her. You don't think she'll get offended?

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    • thanks. good advice

    • *Nods In Approval*

  • Hhmm. Well you can't really change her. But you could pay special attention to when she wears less makeup or mention the pictures. You look so pretty here, you're a natural beauty, you don't need all that makeup, etc. If you have any influence on her, she should appreciate it. Whether she'll wear less is unknown.

    I don't think its shallow. I find a lot of people wear too much makeup. My ex's teeth weren't great, but it didn't stop me from being with him.

    :P

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  • It depends on what you mean by too much. If you mean it's obvious, then you'll need to politely hint to her that you think she looks better with less makeup. Have you ever seen her with less makeup? Cause you could be like "remember that time (fill in the blank), I thought you looked really good/like the way you did your makeup"

    If by too much makeup you're just being a typical girlsaskguys bitch about makeup: NEWSFLASH, "natural" normally means natural looking makeup. Just cause it looks natural doesn't mean it actually is. Most girls wear some amount of makeup and if it wasn't a problem for you when you approached her then it shouldn't be a problem now.

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    • no Its too much. sometimes it looks a little caked on as if she was in a hurry. again, she's a really pretty girl and I have no idea why she puts on so much.

      But I think it just gradually got to be too much over the past year I've known her (we work together) so I can't really pick out a specific time. But I'll just bring it up in a gentle casual way.

  • I think some of the other ladies have the right idea about talking about how pretty she looks without it when she's not wearing it, really admiring her face when it's bare and when she talks up how pretty she looks with make up tell her she doesn't need it (dont go OVERBOARD with it, we aren't stupid and we'll feel you pushing the issue) but girls that wear A LOT of make up? it becomes kind of a safety blanket for them and if you try to force the issue they'll feel defensive like you're trying to take it away from them.

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  • it's hard because girls feel more confident with certain amounts of makeup on. it's hard to "grow out of" it and it often takes steps.

    it is natural but it is a very hard message to convey to girls because I know that without my makeup on I feel less confident even if other people like different kinds or no makeup. I used to wear way too much but over time I started to realize I look better with less and now my amount is good, and people say I look natural.

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    • thats a really good point. I feel it might just be something she hasn't really grown out of yet. she's 18 and I'm 19 so we're still young. It would make sense that all that makeup is lingering from habits during early years of high school and such. Thanks for the input.

    • Glad you are wearing less...but What The Bloody Hell gave you the idea that wearing all that makeup made you look good in the first place? O:O

What Guys Said 2

  • No, you aren't shallow. But the longer you go witout telling her, the more mistakes you are letting her make. If yu like, her, my man, then ENLIGHTEN her!

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    • Good Advice This^

    • The best I think!

    • Thanks for the answer man! I have enlightened her haha. and we're dating now and going strong. She still wears a lot of makeup sometimes but she knows I like that natural look and is completely fine with dulling it down a bit when she's with me because she's fine either way haha

  • The only way males will ever change this horsesh*t will be to continue to vocalize until our voices are louder than those of damnable media, peer pressure from other females and the Marketing Depts of all of the A$$hole Cosmetic Corporations...a formidable challenge...but it is possible..(:

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    • hahaha its good to know I'm not the only guy with this problem. But we've been going out for a month now and things are really good. makeup doesn't bother me anymore

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