Is it wrong to want someone to love me for how I look?

I know it probably sounds stupid but I really wish I could find a guy who loves me for how I look, not for my personality. Growing up I was never the pretty girl and was awkward for a solid decade of my life and it really took a toll on my self image. Now, I know I look different but I'm still not at level I'd like to look. My boyfriend says he loves me for me and can't understand why that isn't good enough. I just feel like he loves my personality and not what I look like, and my main goal in life is to just finally be considered "hot." Is that so wrong?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all, let me tell you how lucky you are to find a guy who loves you for YOU. That's rare. Second of all, who says you aren't pretty? There is no such thing as an 'ugly' girl. If you change up hairstyles, wear make up, smell pretty and dress feminine...then YOU ARE PRETTY,no matter how your body or face may look like. The way I see it is, if you take the time to invest on your looks than more than likely you are attractive. As for wanting to be 'hot', beauty takes on different shapes...it all means something different for everybody. Just like you have tastes and preferences, guys have them too. One guy might consider you cute, but the next guy might more than likely find you gorgeous. I think sexy is a state of mind, not something you can wear. Its something that permeates from within and tell not only guys, but people that you are comfortable in your own skin...now THAT is hot. Just ask any guy.

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What Guys Said 2

  • No it's normal. We all want to be appreciated for our looks, minds and personalities.

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  • I know how you feel and have had similar experiences. It is good that your boyfriend loves you. But a question to ask him is will he have the same love when you become what you want to be? It sounds like you need to achieve that level to make the guys drool and when you get there will he be capable of drooling? And does he support your efforts to improve your look? In order for him to be the right guy for you to be with, he has to support this.

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What Girls Said 3

  • LOL. I agree w/the other answer, you're lucky & I don't think your main goal should be to be "hot"?!? ...however goodness I feel the same way sometimes...I was an ugly awkward duckling growing up...and now I get cute & pretty sometimes but never hot which I'm not really bothered by...but rather to be seen as beautiful...I never hear it really. I don't believe a lot of compliments I get. It'd just be nice to hear is all. I don't really stand out. Seems like having a big heart doesn't matter much these days.

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  • it's not wrong... you didn't get that kind of attention when you were younger and now you want it. totally understandable. maybe you should just be upfront with him and tell him how you feel. I'm sure he wouldn't mind letting you know how hot he finds you to be :p

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  • Being hot so to speak has it's downfalls and con's just like everything does. You may not feel you are hot or pretty or whatever but your man does. It doesn't matter how pretty or hot you are beauty fades. If that's all you have you are left with nothing. Try to learn to accept yourself. It's not as hard as you think :)

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