A question for very attractive women?

I guess this isn't if you THINK you are attractive, but know you are from the way men treat you.

Do you TRY with guys? Basically, if you like a guy and want to go out with him do you ever ask him, ever try to flirt with him, if he pushes away a little do you still go for it?

I ask because my whole life I've been unattractive do to being fat, but now I'm not fat and I'm more attractive. Not a super model, but pretty. I always thought girls got with guys because they were hot and guys just went for them. I was told that was wrong. Sometimes when I watch shows or movies a hot girl will go after a guy by going up to talk to him, making herself known if he is not showing enough interest. I'm wondering if this is realistic or if I should just leave guys alone even if I like them because they don't go for me first.

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women are actually suppose to encourage men to approach - that's right, we make the FIRST moves on a guy.

    Men inherently wait for " cues " from women to signify to him that she is a potential mate - sounds pretty primitive, and that's because it is :) courtship within all living creatures is still very instinctual and natural; the females who were ready to breed way back when, got approached by the most males because they gave off those signals. Makes sense right?

    A lot of what we see going on with dating today, is that men are left chasing after uninterested women, because the phases of our society has nurtured women to NOT give off these " cues ". As you see, that causes difficulties in dating / meeting for BOTH the man and woman.

    So how do we fix it? We quit screwing with nature and let it actually take it's course.

    I know I'm a pretty attractive girl - and I don't mean that arrogantly; but I have had men approach me regularly and find myself feeling bad for turning down the guys that I do - and I'm sure they are just as frustrated. However, when I get a crush on a guy, I talk with him, mingle, flirt and do whatever I feel to indicate my interest.

    It is then his rest of his " duty " to reciprocate that interest.

    Whomever ask who out, doesn't really matter - what matters is that the right messages are being communicated between the both of you to solidify interest.

    With that said, go ahead and flirt a bit ( be bold and kinda blunt so the guy knows your legit,) and wait to see if he reciprocates.

    If he's not interested, then move on to the next guy. Don't take the rejection so harshly, it happens. I've been rejected 5 - 6 times and it sucks, but don't take it to heart :)

    Good luck man hunting lol :D

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    • Thanks! This was very insightful.

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    • This answer is correct.

      Most of women who don't give any signals don't want to be approached/are not ready for dating/are bothered or busy, and so on so it's just a waste of time to do cold-approach.

      As long as there are signals, the guy who receives it will react if he's interested.

      It works that simple.

    • @Rahim

      Lol that's why I'm attractive, because I do them :P not attractive women tend to not to, because their confidence is inadequate.

      Plus, always here people talk about the " flirty, outgoing " girls always getting the guys.

      Hmm.

      Wonder why lol

What Guys Said 4

  • Shows and movies are not reality.

    There is _nothing_ more attractive to a guy than to have a girl come up to him and talk to him. It tells him that someone likes him. We all (girls and guys) need this.

    If you have a crush, find out what he's interested in, study up on it, and talk with him about it.

    If it's just a 'guy,' 'Hey' or 'Hi' with a smile work wonders. Think of how you'd feel if approached this way. Guys are not that much different!

    Best thing to show is self-confidence.

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    • I said that in shows and movies I've seen attractive girls do this...

  • Don't use TV as a guide. Attraction is much more complicated in real life. According to sociological studies on the subject, your skin complexion and facial symmetry is much more important than your weight or body shape. The right hair, make-up, and clothes can work miracles. It takes much more than physical attraction to make a relationship work anyway, and compatible personalities can usually overcome physical imperfections. Learning about Myers-Briggs personality types and how they relate to each other is much more useful than worrying about your appearance.

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  • i doubt they do

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  • tv shows and movies...all liars.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Okay so, let's say I'm attractive (I'm going by what you said - the way they treat me) Do I TRY with guys? Yes, I do try. I flirt, talk to him, and yes (to some extent) when he pushes away a little I go for it. But the main word being LITTLE. I say this because almost my entire life I felt like I didn't attract any guys. I was okay looking, I guess. I really wouldn't know. It's not always about being hot, though. What I'm saying is, yeah, most guys will go for the hot girl. They're programmed to go after girls like that, as are most girls. But it's not all about the looks. In retrospect I believe that it wasn't so much that I wasn't good-looking enough rather that I didn't know how to act around guys. But definitely don't use TV shows or the such as a guide. They may, or may not be true. Just start by letting him know you exist but pay attention to his reaction to know if he's not interested to abort mission. But have fun with it. You can't flirt if you're nervous.

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    • Nice answer.

      Honestly, I never know when I guy likes me. I don't think I've ever been liked. Every time I thought he did it turns out I was wrong.

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    • u felt like you werent attractive too guys... stop playn, I'm pretty sure from lookin at your pic you had guys trying to get at u.

    • I didn't always look the way I do now. But, as I said, I was OKAY looking. "In retrospect I believe that it wasn't so much that I wasn't good-looking enough rather that I didn't know how to act around guys." My personality pushed them away. I was a really socially awkward human being for most of my life :D

  • I think I'm attractive because I used to have really low self esteem and think I was ugly, but guys would stare at me and hit on me a lot. People kept telling me I should model so I knew I couldn't have looked that bad.

    Do I try with guys? Not really. But that's mainly because I don't usually seek romantic connections. Usually, I just be myself and they approach me. For example, Monday, I was walking home from school. I was around the corner from my house when this guy pulled up in his car. Turns out the guy is friends with this other guy who had a crush on me, Kenny. Kenny, the guy, me, and some friends had all gone out dancing. The guy said he had seen me walking on the main street and wanted to give me a ride home. So he drove all the way in the housing development to find me and offer me a ride home.You can get guys to do stuff like that for you and want to approach you by simply being a friendly, happy, funny, approachable girl :)

    If you really like a guy, I'd say make yourself known to him and go for it!

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    • I actually really don't believe that. There are lots of girls like that who are ugly and they don't get guys searching them out to give them rides.

    • Being attractive does help. I know that because I used to put no effort into looking pretty and I can see a bold difference in the way guys interact with me now vs how they did then.

      If a girl is sloppy, puts little or no effort into her physical appearance; then she most likely will not get a ton of male attention.

  • You have to respond to his advances if you want a guy. I've had guys like me before, some in a slightly stalkerish way who I didn't like back... But if you like a guy, you have to show him, at least a little. If you don't like him and he likes you, don't lead him on, just tell him straight out.

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    • Thanks, I don't know wtf is up the with answers from guys...

    • boys are stupid ha ha :P

    • I guess so! It's like they read two sentences out of that and just went on with that train of logic.

  • Yes?

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  • i don't approach guys but sometimes catching his eyes and smile will work.

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