I Have "Girl-next-door-itis."

Basically every time I like a guy, he never wants to be more than friends. It's not like I don't try, but they end up completely oblivious, or just string me along then say they just want to be friends. Some of my best guy friends are guys who rejected me, but I'm not looking for a friend; I actually want a bf. How do I fix this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • You fix it by doing the following:

    1) Increasing your attractiveness. When you smile, you imply you have happiness to give. When you laugh, you imply you have fun to share. With your clothes, hair style, and behavior, you project an independent and congruent personality. Basically, when you show all these qualities, guys think you're a great deal because you have so much to offer. Obviously, you are also interested in the guys that have a lot to offer in return.

    2) Reducing your risk in his eyes. Having too many guy friends may worry potential crushes because they gauge you as higher risk (lots of competition, too many options) or not knowing what you want (unlikely to be faithful). Flirting with other guys in front of a crush makes him think you're less interested (and will increase the perceived risk he sees if he were to ask you out).

    3) Figure out what you want in a relationship and what roles you're willing to take within them. This will allow you to find a guy that matches you (and vice versa). You won't win a popularity contest (because you're not aiming for every guy), but it's better to be a great match for some than a lackluster match for all.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Well, the first thing I should say is, you're young, you have the rest of your life to date. My other thoughts are, perhaps you aren't being forward enough with the guys that you like and they don't know you are interested. Perhaps the guys you like are interested in girls with a different style/personality than you. Without knowing more about you and your situation, that's about all I can think of.

  • Maybe you just seem to available to talk to your guy friends.


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